Do I come across as arrogant?

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by magnatom, 20 Mar 2008.

  1. magnatom

    magnatom Guest

    In another place I got into a discussion about the merits of cycling and the case for global warming. I like to try and keep to the facts, to keep emotion out of the discussion. I never insult anyone or react to insults. However, my discussions in this other place appear to have provoked a severe reaction. A lot of it was what I am used to, name calling, telling me to %^%^&$ off etc. However, one person who is apparently a police officer and who was not involved in the discussion anyway, decided to pip in. In this post the police officer suggested that they would knock me down if I had the chance, if they ever caught me committing any crime (no matter how small) that they would throw the book at me, and, and this is the worst, they suggested in this public forum that I cycled because I was a drink driver. Apparently this police officer remembered booking me, or something similar.

    First off, let me make this absolutely clear. I have never been and I am not a drink driver so this comment was completely slanderous. I would love to find a way to prove that this is a completely false allegation (any suggestions!).

    I am not looking for opinions on what to do as a result of these comments by the police officer (who is fairly easy to identify from previous postings). I need to make that decision for myself. I am not looking for anyone to defend my position or shout my corner. I am quite capable of that.

    What I am looking for though is some honest opinions about the way I write my posts. Do I come across as pompous, arrogant, with a big ego? If I do, it is certainly not my intention and is definitely not the type of person who I am.

    If i do what is it about the way I write that comes across as that and how can I change it.

    I take an awful lot of flak for what I try and do (just look at some of the comments on my youtube videos). I have had a number of comments suggesting that people would want to knock me down or even kill me.

    I suppose what I need to know is, (honest answers and not, we love you magnatom type replies, which I might not get anyway! :tongue:) is what I am doing a good thing, or do I antagonise people too much and negate the good?

    Just feeling a little despondent at the moment about all of this. :biggrin:

    (I thought I'd post this in cyclechat as I know a lot of the regulars who know me look in here. However, I would understand if you wanted to move this elsewhere).
  2. Smeggers

    Smeggers New Member

    I dont know you so I dont have an opinion.

    I hope that helps :tongue:
  3. Twenty Inch

    Twenty Inch New Member

    Behind a desk
    UNfortunately, cyclists come across as arrogant and self-righteous because of our justifiable rage at being nearly killed again, for what a motorist thinks is a normal part of driving, and certainly not a misdemeanour.

    You must also realise that a forum or Youtube allows a lot of idiots access to you. Many of whom you wouldn't mix with in real life.

    If you can track that officer, do so and let his superiors know.
  4. domtyler

    domtyler Über Member

    Magnatom, don't worry mate, you will always be a mouthy loveable little git scotsman to me! :rolleyes:
  5. alecstilleyedye

    alecstilleyedye nothing in moderation Moderator

    technically it's libelous. the mods are keeping a lookout and will act accordingly.
  6. betty swollocks

    betty swollocks large member

    Anyone who is passionate about a subject, knows they are right and has the courage of those convictions, can come across as being arrogant.
    It really depends on how you advocate on behalf of yourself - the words you use and how you use them, which then dictates, of course, how you are perceived by others.......a very subjective matter!
  7. OP

    magnatom Guest

    I take it you are a mod then Alec. As you probably know I have had a couple of PM's here suggesting that I am a drink driver.

    If something like that leaked through, I certainly wouldn't blame cyclechat. I think the moderation here is brilliant. Thanks for all the work you do guys!!
  8. Arch

    Arch Married to Night Train

    Salford, UK
    I've never thought of you as pompous no. It helps I suppose that I generally like you (as much as one can on a forum like this), and our opinions of people's writing styles ARE coloured by our likes and dislikes, no matter how hard we try to avoid it.

    I think you generally have a certain degree of certainty (nearly always correct) in your case, which many people can't cope with, and mistake for arrogance. I know of people who many think of as arrogant because they've only heard they talk about subjects they are expert in, whereas I've known them more informally and seen them ask opinions in cases they are not so clear cut on, and that takes away any feeling of arrogance. Perhaps it's because these people have never had a chance to interact with you in situations away from your 'specialism'. And an added problem is that in order to be remotely useful at campaigning, you have to be direct and firm - long wishy washy comments make less impact - and directness and brevity can add to the feeling of arrogance, in people who don't know better.

    Or they might just be nutcases.

    Does this help? Don't let it get you down. We all know there are some right knobheads out there, but not wanting to be killed seems to make 'us' the loonies, like 20" says.
  9. domtyler

    domtyler Über Member

    What other site are we talking about here? Is this that blood bus forum you were on?
  10. John the Monkey

    John the Monkey Frivolous Cyclist

    I've not seen arrogance in your posts on here, tbh Magnatom, if that's any solace.

    For what it's worth, I think it's one of those things you might sometimes be called by people who know you're right but don't like you telling them so.

    I recognise myself in what Twenty Inch says - I find it very hard to debate with people on topics like the right to use the road &c without being defensive, partly because I try to forestall what's coming ("You don't pay road tax/have lights etc") and partly because people's understanding of the law and highway code is so abysmally poor in many cases.
  11. snorri

    snorri Legendary Member

    We have never met of course, but from your postings on here I have had some concerns for your personal safety. Not so much from a bad driving point of view, but from someone putting a bunch of fives in your face in response to having a camera pointed at them. I think there are more subtle methods of improving safety for all road users.:rolleyes:
  12. OP

    magnatom Guest

    Thanks guys for the comments. Except you Dom of course! :rolleyes:

    I suppose I am asking the wrong people here, because as you say 20" it is subjective and I suppose there will be a strong bias on here to what I say.

    I suppose what I have learned is that a more softly,softly approach is what is required. We need to avoid focusing on what car drivers do to us, what bus drivers do to us etc. We need to work at educating everyone, including cyclists about how to get along on the roads. Other road users hate being lectured at by other road users about how they should drive/cycle/swim etc...

    I think your right Arch in that I do come across with certainty in what I say and that that could be taken for arrogance. Maybe I need to insert a few phrases like, 'I think, I feel, I believe' and to reply to others comments by saying 'I see where you are coming from, but I feel' etc. No more, 'no you are wrong'

    Dom, I don't want a forum war or to start any cross forum problems, so I'll not comment on where the comments were made.
  13. OP

    magnatom Guest

    Aww, thanks mum! :ohmy:

    Seriously though, I understand where you are coming from (see I am learning!), but I always have an escape route and I know when a fight isn't worth fighting (from a danger point of view).

    I just post the things that I see when I commute. I think Glasgow is pretty bad for cyclists compared to other parts of the country so that's probably why it looks so bad. I have promised myself, though that I will stop chasing after drivers for a chat. However, if they talk or abuse me first, I will respond (politely). Nothing I hate more than bullies.

    (If all else fails I have my black belt in judo to fall back on :rolleyes:)
  14. OP

    magnatom Guest

    On a happier note, I had my TV interview today. I think it went fairly well. I was asked about 5 questions and I replied as best I could (as diplomatically as I could). Each question was done in one take which surprised me, so I hope I didn't say anything daft or um and err to much.

    I was also filmed sticking my helmet camera, and helmet on, getting on the bike and riding off into the sunset (ok it was morning and it was pretty miserable weather at the time!)

    The piece is mainly about trying to improve cycle facilities in Glasgow, which are pretty poor at the moment. I'm not a big fan of cycling facilities in general, but I can see how, if the council did more, and provided more facilities, it would encourage more people to take to their bikes. That's the big problem at the moment. There is just not enough of us in Glasgow.

    Apparently they are interviewing someone from spokes (Edinburgh based! :ohmy: and a councilor.

    Anyway it will apparently be going out on Reporting Scotland (BBC) on Tuesday (or Wednesday major story depending) next week. So we will see if I am up to Arch* standard.

    * The standard by which all other interviewees will be judged. Reaching the Arch standard is considered unobtainable.... :rolleyes:
  15. rich p

    rich p ridiculous old lush

    I'm baffled, Magnatom. What do you do to antagonise these people you're referring to? What forum is it? Are you changing the world view or just trying to?
    Personally this is the only forum I use and I try not to rub others up the wrong way as this, for me, is a bit of light relief. If I wanted grief I'd go onto Soapbox and slag of a few of the members (and I use the word advisedly!) there.
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