Does Christmas bring out the mortality/morbidity in people ?

[bonj2]

I think you just have to make Christmas what you want. If you're lonely, or sad, or whatever, the enforced jollity and family-ness can be horrible, so you have to try and avoid that, and try and work it so that you can be doing what you'd prefer - even if that is being alone and getting pleasantly sloshed and watching tv all day.

I presume you mean the people who haven't got jollity and family-ness to take part in, who have to see everyone else enjoying it - but equally remember that there's quite a lot of people who are lonely and sad the rest of the year but for whom christmas brings jollity and family-ness which they really enjoy but just never happens the rest of the year so they never get to take part in it other than at christmas.

Personally the only thing I don't like about christmas is the commercial trashiness and nasty crap adverts for products of 'instant gratification', and the not knowing what to buy for ANY member of my family.
My family are all fairly booze-happy so it tends to be a laugh.
I may end up just buying them all booze.

 

[girofan]

I've just re-read the post and realised that the title says "Christmas" and not "Christianity", but I'm not going to edit.

So is this a case "twentyinch" of; Jam yesterday. Jam tommorrow. But never jam today!

 

[mickle]

Its never been the same since my ma died, this will be the third 'winter festival' without her. The year she died we went to Tunisia thinking that a muslim country wouldn't be very Xmassy but of course the whole hotel was festooned with appalling tat and they played festive tunes non-stop over the tanoy. Jeez. last year was the worst of all time, K and I were in the process of splitting up. The only words we exchanged all day were, me; 'Would you like a cup of tea'? to which she replied; 'No'. Really shoot miserable time had by all. So. Cant get any worse! Wahay! Bring it on!

 

[arranandy]

I'm not a big fan of all the over-commercialisation (is that a word?) of Christmas. All this shopping and buying presents etc is Boring and IMO a waste of money. The sums of money spent or unwanted gifts must be astronomical. Now I'm not some holy Joe but the majority of people have lost sight of the original meaning of Christmas. It is, however, a good reason for a family get together which unfortunately doesn't happen too often as we're pretty spread out throughout the UK

 

[marinyork]

If one took out the religious meanings, the family emphasis and the commercial aspect is there any meaning there at all do people think?

 

[Speicher]

I decided a few years ago to buy close friends and family some very unusual presents. Things like a goat, a school desk, school books, etc.(even a bicycle for a nurse to cover a greater area) these are available from Oxfam or other similar organisations. I gave someone some pairs of glasses and an operation to improve or restore eye-sight (Sight-savers at giftofsight.co.uk), and even things to do with lifeboats (at rnli.org.uk/splashout).

I had wanted to opt out of the commercialisation of Christmas, and not have to venture into crowded shops etc, and this seemed a possible solution. I was slightly wary of people's reactions, but they all seemed very pleased and the next year, some of them gave us similar things. One of my close friends has young twins, and she was very pleased that I gave them vouchers to say that a donation had been made so that a undernourished child in an area of famine could have lunch for a month. They were old enough to understand what it would be like to go without lunch, and it also made them (if only for one day) appreciate the thngs they had been given. I am not trying to "blow my own trumpet", but this saves waste of resources, fuel, etc etc, and it's easy peasy.

In the case of Oxfam and Sightsavers, they send you a card and a short explanation of the gift, for you to send to the person. Some one out there might find this useful. Having said that I have bought myself an enormous combined brithday and Christmas present. I do not know where I will be able to buy enough wrapping paper for it, but no one else would have bought it for me, so I had to do the honours.

 

[bonj2]

the majority of people have lost sight of the original meaning of Christmas.

And?

 

[fossyant]

It's pretty good for us Christmas - get a bit of a downer mid Nov to 15th Dec as my wife's brother died (aged 44) of a brain tumor 5 years ago - died mid Nov, birthday 15th Dec. We generally have a bit of a get together on the 15th - not morbid - family stuff party, then chill abit for Christmas, by eating and drinking.

We have big families - both of us are one of 4....generally we all get on really well and most of us muck in to the 'work'.... last year we were guests at the MIL's but as they are 'getting on a bit' we (wife and I) did all the cooking for 14 of us...... was fine......including one 'late sitting' for my nephew who had to work (trainee chef).....

 

[jonesy]

... Now I'm not some holy Joe but the majority of people have lost sight of the original meaning of Christmas....

Well I still believe in Mr Hankey !

 

[Dona Ferentes]

Eat lots, drink lots to banish the Mid-Winter Blues. That's the true meaning of Christmas.


And The Great Escape on telly.

 

[catwoman]

I like Christmas, I like family tradition and food and all that. So it's generally good for me. Tom disliked it, he would always prefer to spend it getting drunk on a bottle of sherry. Last year I invited him and an another friend to join me and Mum for the day, and we simply ate and watched telly and relaxed, and he said it was one of the best Christmasses he'd ever had, which is something I treasure. This year's going to hard, without him, but I'll have little Oli to fuss over, and family around me, and if I have to go outside to have a little crap moment on my own, well, so be it.

I think you just have to make Christmas what you want. If you're lonely, or sad, or whatever, the enforced jollity and family-ness can be horrible, so you have to try and avoid that, and try and work it so that you can be doing what you'd prefer - even if that is being alone and getting pleasantly sloshed and watching tv all day.

I feel for you Arch. I'm sure others will be sensitive to you over the period as it's your first year.
As for me I used to loathe Christmas in my days as a young adult. I used to dread it as it reminded me of past Christmasses as a child with my family. It wasn't tainted with alcohol or other excess, just the fact that my family all loathed each other.
My last family Christmas was at age 17 and that is more years ago than I care to remember. Since that time I have made an effort with connecting with friends and volunteering for charity work on the big day itself. The familial connection with the event was just too much for me to bear alone.
In more recent years I have given up completely and have deliberately spent the time alone taking the time to reflect on things and how far I have come and where I am going. I'm not lonely, I have friends who have filled the void where my family should be had they been a "normal" family (whatever that is). I buy gifts for significant children in my life so I do join in to that extent.
Last Christmas day, I was still stuffed full from having had to eat two large meals on Christmas Eve at other people's houses and at around 3:30 pm on the day itself I got on my bike and rode around Central London for a couple of hours after dark. I was expecting it to be quiet and deserted in the West End but it was really busy! The lights were lovely, particularly in Trafalgar Square. I was starving when I got home (I'd only eaten some Belgian chocolates prior to going out) so I had some beans on toast for my Christmas dinner and they were great! Just what I needed.
So I have a good time at Christmas these days, in my own way.
One thing that does sadden me every year however is the thought of other children going through what I went through as a child at Christmas and in their lives generally.

 

[mickle]

Happy Christmas to you Catwoman. After reading your post I know I'll be thinking about you on the day, riding your bike around the city. Lovely.

 

[Arch]

If one took out the religious meanings, the family emphasis and the commercial aspect is there any meaning there at all do people think?

Depends how much you want to define as 'religion'. Before it was Christmas, it was a pagan festival, and most religions/cultures have some sort of grand annual feast, often with associations of light and in the depths of winter, because by then you are cold and miserable and you want something to cheer you up and remind you that summer will come again. If we didn't have Christmas, I have no doubt we'd still have a midwinter festival - if we didn't dress it up in religious meaning, we'd simply treat it as what it is - something to cheer us up and keep us busy for the long dark nights.

 

[col]

Even when i was young and at home,we never treat it as a religious time,just a fun family time.Santa was the only real thing that we thought about?At school we did the manger play,and sang carols,but it didnt mean religion to us,it meant it will soon be christmas,and i wonder what presents ill be getting.That was the excitement then,christmas eve,not being able to get to sleep,waking very early.Even now,i dont treat is as a religeous time,but quality family time,and fun.Oh, and did i mention presents?

 

[ChrisKH]

Mum went three years ago on December the 29th, so like several others it will be a time of reflection. But as it was her favourite time of year, especially with the kids around, I'll be making an effort and putting on a brave face. Fortified with strong alcohol of course - it's the only time I drink Brandy and we do tend to put out rather a lot for Father Xmas.