Downstairs neighbour. I am looking for advice

[User6179]

What type of flooring do you have?
If its laminate then this will be the reason she hears everything, my m8 was in similar position to yourself with his downstairs neighbour and changing to carpet with a heavy underlay stopped the complaints.

 

[DCLane]

@Saluki - it appears that she's trying to complain to a) get you to move out and b) have a catalogue of evidence of complaints.

Can I suggest, like @vernon, that you keep a log of all the comments she makes. Also, write down the facts you remember.

I'd suggest that she's deliberately causing these issues because she doesn't like someone near her. And if she complains, you'll move out.

Oh, and given you're at Alpha, a few regular invitations/leaflets/tracts through her door might be helpful.

Also, if your terms of lease allow it, suggesting that you're going to be holding a regular weekly housegroup, prayer meeting, session will probably keep her quiet. Especially if you invite her to it

That's speaking from experience; both when we lived in Middlesbrough and now our neighbours, although great, began to give us a wide berth once we started hosting a housegroup.

 

[Julia9054]

I sympathise with your situation. We have had similar situations with the mad old alcoholic witch that lives next door. All you can do is live your life to sensible rules that you would find it reasonable to live below so that you can demonstrate that you are being reasonable.
Ignore her. Do not initiate any contact/conversation with her. End any contact/conversation she has with you. Document everything in case she chooses to make any complaint official.
The mistake that you are making is that you are assuming you are dealing with a reasonable human being who is just a bit noise sensitive whereas she is clearly just nuts .

 

[classic33]

@Saluki, no landlord would accept a written record detailing "the noise you are making" without there being times alongside detailing when it started & when it stopped. Enviromental Health will tell you that much. They may even issue both sides with the same log, to be completed by both sides. Both can then be compared to one another.
Sister had a similar problem when she moved, just running the tap or even having the gas fire on could be "heard" by them. Causing them to complain, to her about the noise. The lock they placed on the gate was removed using a pair of 4 foot long bolt cutters & a new lock with them being supplied a key put in its place. Twice this was repeated, the last time it was done I'd to climb over the gate(7 foot high) in full view of the rest of their neighbours. They "moved" my Brox out of the parking space for theit sons car, by nudging it into the road. Police were called & they got a warning about what they'd done. Now they won't speak to me, can't work out why!!

 

[ScotiaLass]

Do not put your life on hold for this evil woman any longer!
Seriously, you've proven that's she's nothing short of a nasty liar so you have nothing to worry about.

If she continues to bang on your door to complain, tell her you will report her for harassment.
Use your garden, play your guitars!
She sounds like a bitter old bat.

As someone said, keep a diary, inform the housing association and consult a solicitor! I bet a strongly worded letter would stop her....after all, if she's shouting for all to hear and it's untrue then surely that's tantamount to slander?
Do not tolerate it any longer. She chooses to work nights, she has to accept that life goes on.

Oh and I say this as an ex night-shift worker and I am married to someone who works permanent night shift....we have to tolerate our neighbours doing DIY, having friends round, the crying baby etc.
We don't complain, we just get on with it because in life, you have to be tolerant or you end up as bitter as your neighbour!

 

[Profpointy]

Point out the massive discrepancies between what she says she hears and what you actually have up there. I'd politely point out that it's clear she's making things up, and that you'd like her to stop harassing you.

Not convinced this will help. As a reasonable person yourself, you are recommending a reasonable approach to someone who simply is not reasonble - and basically just wants someone to quarrel with. Anything you point out or dicsuss will just feed more ammo to the woman. The approach you suggest would only work with someone who wouldn't be behaving this way in the first place.

Edit Julia above has put it more clearly still

 

[PeteXXX]

As she is obviously lonely, send her some pizza, curry, kebabs, taxi's etc. She'll love the attention!!
Only joking, but things like this do make you feel vindictive, don't they...

Last year, our neighbours moved on and rented the house out to a mother & child. Unfortunately, she lied and masses of people kept turning up tomake merry, doss down and generally trash the place. Luckily he managed to move them out after a frailty short while. Had they stayed, we would have led a life of misery!
I hope you can resolve the situation, but it appears that she is a bit loopy.

 

[Bryony]

I live in a big block of flats (15 floors, 90 flats) I'm on the 5th floor and I can always hear the people in the flat above, I can hear them walking around etc I can even hear them weeing in the toilet then flush it, but I don't complain as they are living their normal lives, and when you live in such close proximity with other people you are going to hear noise!! If you don't like it move to a house and stop harassing people about it!!!

I really feel for you and hope something can be done to resolve this for you.

 

[Noodley]

Tell her to feck off.

 

[Saluki]

@Saluki - it appears that she's trying to complain to a) get you to move out and b) have a catalogue of evidence of complaints.

Can I suggest, like @vernon, that you keep a log of all the comments she makes. Also, write down the facts you remember.

I'd suggest that she's deliberately causing these issues because she doesn't like someone near her. And if she complains, you'll move out.

Oh, and given you're at Alpha, a few regular invitations/leaflets/tracts through her door might be helpful.

Also, if your terms of lease allow it, suggesting that you're going to be holding a regular weekly housegroup, prayer meeting, session will probably keep her quiet. Especially if you invite her to it

That's speaking from experience; both when we lived in Middlesbrough and now our neighbours, although great, began to give us a wide berth once we started hosting a housegroup.

I think I love you!
I had never thought of holding a life group round our house You have cheered me up no end.

 

[Saluki]

What type of flooring do you have?
If its laminate then this will be the reason she hears everything, my m8 was in similar position to yourself with his downstairs neighbour and changing to carpet with a heavy underlay stopped the complaints.

We had carpet until today lunch time but it had black mold all over it and it was rank and not healthy. As of 2pm this afternoon we have vinyl cushion flooring. I will pop a few rugs down in a few days if I can find something on freecycle.

Until my old Saluki pops his paws we are not having carpet as he is not the most continent of dogs nowadays. Some days he is fine, others not so fine.

 

[Arch]

[QUOTE 2692880, member: 45"]I'm not sure that her behaviour could be any worse if you just acted reasonably. She's bullying you into an intolerable existence. Ignore her and just act normally.[/quote]

This. Bullies only keep going if they get a reaction and she's getting one from you.

 

[Saluki]

I live in a big block of flats (15 floors, 90 flats) I'm on the 5th floor and I can always hear the people in the flat above, I can hear them walking around etc I can even hear them weeing in the toilet then flush it, but I don't complain as they are living their normal lives, and when you live in such close proximity with other people you are going to hear noise!! If you don't like it move to a house and stop harassing people about it!!!

I really feel for you and hope something can be done to resolve this for you.

Funny you should say that. We had a month of not flushing the loo (unless it was a No.2 TMI?) because our bathroom wall backs on to our bedroom. Her bedroom is directly beneath our bedroom. Happily her bathroom is underneath our little bedroom/office/music room so we spend a lot of time in here as we surely cannot be making noise when we are neither directly over her bedroom or her living room.

I used to work nights and I slept through crying babies, toddlers, music, a chap who did a lot of woodwork in his flat. Ken worked permanent nights for 10 years and slept through next door and their DIY, he slept through me running a dog grooming business in the out building, the road being dug up, the MOT garage behind us and all sorts with nary a whimper.

Ken is worried that I am going to slot her one if she kicks off again. Tell the truth, I am a little worried about slotting her too. I shall keep well out of her way. We are putting a clock down by the front door so if she knocks on we can say, with some accuracy, that it is 6.27pm or 5.22 or whatever. I have started to go back through my diary and have made a list of all the times we have disturbed her.

I think that you are all correct. She is a nutter. It was a huge mistake moving here, we should have turned it down and waited for another but we didn't know that she was Dagenham.

 

[Julia9054]

I feel for you, I really do! Over the last 10 years, we have endured weed killer poured over the fence, urine chucked on the front door, empty vodka bottles thrown in the garden, my children yelled at, my elderly mother yelled at, being reported to environmental health as a noise nuisance, going to mediation - twice - which at the last minute she refused to participate in and abusive notes posted through the door.
The police are sympathetic but won't do anything about it. Not enough proof.
Fortunately she has been relatively quiet over the past couple of years as she is currently fixated on the couple on the other side of her with their two (perfectly well behaved) dogs.
I used to dream about slotting her one! I also looked into selling up and moving - until I worked out how much it would cost me.
I now realise she is a bitter, miserable old woman who is far more wound up by living next door to me (and everyone else) than I am by living next door to her and I have had to learn to ignore her.

 

[Chris Norton]

Live your lives. Let her make the move of complaining to enviromental health and then see what happens. Frankly, nothing will happen as they will come round with sound meters in her flat and get a reading less than that required to be a nuisance. And THAT is what we are talking about, NUISANCE. If you were making noise at 4am every day that constituted a nuisance then yes you would be given a noise abatement notice. But between 7am and 11pm, not a hope in hell. Enviromental health will tell her that she has no grounds for complaint.