cd365
Guru
- Location
- Coventry, uk
Do not bring her bin in, niceties work both ways
Downstairs neighbour. I am looking for advice
- Thread starter Saluki
- Start date
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Nigel-YZ1
Guru
- Location
- Somewhere else... maybe soon.
Ignorance is bliss!
Doing the same with our upstairs neighbour. Also found she declared war on her downstairs neighbour at her own flat too. Seems they parked on their own drive too much without her permission, plus all the bin related crap she's been victimising us over. Must be fun to have two lots of bins to empty the recycling from every week!
Doing the same with our upstairs neighbour. Also found she declared war on her downstairs neighbour at her own flat too. Seems they parked on their own drive too much without her permission, plus all the bin related crap she's been victimising us over. Must be fun to have two lots of bins to empty the recycling from every week!
mr_cellophane
Legendary Member
- Location
- Essex
You cycle, she drives. What makes you think you will ever get on ?
mr_cellophane
Legendary Member
- Location
- Essex
Get better advice here
http://www.nfh.org.uk/forums/
http://www.nfh.org.uk/forums/
wow cant believe i only just read this. I had a neighbour exactly like this and i lived with her complaining for 4 years with constant visits from the police and any other council dept that would listen to her (they would refuse to deal with her after they investigated me found no case to answer and subsequently she would get passed between environmental health, housing, asbo depts etc).. She complained about all the things you said, called the cops on me BEFORE I'd even moved in when i was decorating, stand outside abusing and shouting at me and my guests. There is so much i can tell you but i haven't got time at the moment but i can assure you it was all the same. Meanwhile i took every measure to kerb my "noise" bcoz i felt bad. What made it worse was that she was an old lady and she looked ill from the stress I was "causing". Two times it got too much for me and I'd bite back, then spend half hour crying on the phone to my mom bcoz i was worried I'd give her a heart attack. Eventually the council threatened me with an asbo. I told the council guy (new case worker) i would only attend a meeting if he investigated all the complaints she'd made to the council and cops and what the outcomes were and that my dad and her daughter had to be there. He duly did this and had a much better attitude towards me next time he rang to set up the meeting. Apparently she not only gave me hell but the tenants before me and also had been moved on from previous address bcoz of same problem.
Meeting was held during which, instead of being the frail old lady she normally portrayed herself as to council reps, she showed her true colours. In fact the guy had to restrain her twice. She admitted harrassing me for 4 years and also admitted the only noise she could hear was me going out on to my balcony and closing my front door. She admitted she couldn't hear tv or music or anything else and her daughter was shocked by all the crap she's given me and everything I'd done to try and stop my "noise" including not flushing my loo after 9pm.
The guy threatened to give her an asbo instead if she carried on. I'd like to say this solved the problem but it didn't although it did calm things down a bit. I made an agreement with the daughter that i would phone her if things got too much but then even once had an argument with her bcoz her mum was charging her electric mobility scooter off the communal plug while i was at work and she didn't believe i was paying for it (until i showed her proof) and proof that I'd also asked for the council to supply her mum with an independent plug (as i knew it was difficult for her to charge it in the house) which the council had agreed to , but the woman had refused to have it when they turned up!! Eventually the council moved her... Only to give me a worse problem (kid out of prison, drug dealer, wrecks the place etc) so it was truly a case of better the devil you know.
So what would i advise you do? I would advise you this.
1. Understand you are not the problem, she is.
2. Do not pander to her tantrums, it makes them worse, do not tip toe around your flat or continue to whisper, live as you normally would and don't feel bad about it.
3. Do not speak to her in any way.
4. if she turns up ranting, shut the door on her and call the police and tell them your neighbour is harrassing you. They may not want to come out but ask for an anti social behaviour crime number.
5. Log the harrassment and keep complaining to the council and give them the crime numbers ,(this is their proof of her bad behaviour) Set up a meeting so they can explain to her what she can and cant complain about (chances are they know already SHE is the problem).
6. If the council do move her pray you don't get a worse problem with the next tenants .
i fully sympathise with you bcoz unless you've lived like this, people can't understand the stress it causes, but i understand, which is why i implore you to accept that this is what she loves to do, it gives her power and the best thing you can do is tell her don't care, continue to live as you normally would (without whispering or tip toeing, put your tv back on sound etc) and refuse to engage any further with her without someone from the council being there.
Meeting was held during which, instead of being the frail old lady she normally portrayed herself as to council reps, she showed her true colours. In fact the guy had to restrain her twice. She admitted harrassing me for 4 years and also admitted the only noise she could hear was me going out on to my balcony and closing my front door. She admitted she couldn't hear tv or music or anything else and her daughter was shocked by all the crap she's given me and everything I'd done to try and stop my "noise" including not flushing my loo after 9pm.
The guy threatened to give her an asbo instead if she carried on. I'd like to say this solved the problem but it didn't although it did calm things down a bit. I made an agreement with the daughter that i would phone her if things got too much but then even once had an argument with her bcoz her mum was charging her electric mobility scooter off the communal plug while i was at work and she didn't believe i was paying for it (until i showed her proof) and proof that I'd also asked for the council to supply her mum with an independent plug (as i knew it was difficult for her to charge it in the house) which the council had agreed to , but the woman had refused to have it when they turned up!! Eventually the council moved her... Only to give me a worse problem (kid out of prison, drug dealer, wrecks the place etc) so it was truly a case of better the devil you know.
So what would i advise you do? I would advise you this.
1. Understand you are not the problem, she is.
2. Do not pander to her tantrums, it makes them worse, do not tip toe around your flat or continue to whisper, live as you normally would and don't feel bad about it.
3. Do not speak to her in any way.
4. if she turns up ranting, shut the door on her and call the police and tell them your neighbour is harrassing you. They may not want to come out but ask for an anti social behaviour crime number.
5. Log the harrassment and keep complaining to the council and give them the crime numbers ,(this is their proof of her bad behaviour) Set up a meeting so they can explain to her what she can and cant complain about (chances are they know already SHE is the problem).
6. If the council do move her pray you don't get a worse problem with the next tenants .
i fully sympathise with you bcoz unless you've lived like this, people can't understand the stress it causes, but i understand, which is why i implore you to accept that this is what she loves to do, it gives her power and the best thing you can do is tell her don't care, continue to live as you normally would (without whispering or tip toeing, put your tv back on sound etc) and refuse to engage any further with her without someone from the council being there.
this is not necessarily true, i had laminate but they put sound dampening underlay down. My neighbour complained so i had massive rugs made which went almost wall to wall. she still complained and then ultimately admitted she couldnt hear anything!
U
User6179
Guest
I would imagine the sound dampening helps under the laminate but having my whole downstairs laminated I could not believe how loud every little noise was compared with being carpeted , playing music downstairs even at low levels it was like the sound was getting amplified.
Sounds like your neighbour just like complaining , have a neighbour similar near me , loves to report people and thinks she is a parking warden , she likes me so leaves me alone luckily .
true, but don't forget that internal walks and floors are much thinner than those between flats. Besides , after 4 years of harrassment my neighbour then admitted to not being able to hear me even though she particularly complained my noise levels went up when i was at home for the week. What actually annoyed her was the fact she knew i was in, not that the decibel level went up. It's truly stressful to live above someone like this. Feel sorry for the OP. I no longer live at my flat, i rent it out and use the money to live elsewhere. I was too stressed.
Pale Rider
Legendary Member
Laminate flooring/stripped floorboards is the curse of the flat-living classes.
damn right. I blame Homes and Gardens.
If you're dead set on laminate, get yourself a thick felt underlay. But, really.......think about it. Wouldn't you prefer a nice rug?
U
User6179
Guest
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
Other than cleanliness, what is the advantage (if any) of these floors??
Pale Rider
Legendary Member
The house makeover mags - and telly programmes - do have a lot to answer for.
Underlay helps a little, but the action of shoe on board still produces the noise which transmits itself, particularly downwards.
The answer is don't produce the noise in the first place.
Pale Rider
Legendary Member
The look - to some, and ease of cleaning if you have pets or messy children.
