Driver confrontation question

[BentMikey]

Great non answer.

Well, that is typical col behaviour. Don't expect too much quality debate.

 

[Bicycle]

When people knock on your front door at home do you also complain that they're "hitting your house"?

An aside: Although not a Christian, for many years I dropped off the little red envelopes for Christian Aid and then went round collecting them a few days later.

From some of the responses I got, you really would think people thought I was hitting their house. We seem to be becoming a more insular society than the one I remember from my youth.

Another aside: I used to be a volunteer Meals on Wheel driver for the Christmas period when the usual volunteers were at home. More than once I failed to get a response, so I went next door and asked if they knew where there neighbour was. "Oh, that old bloke; nah... don't see much of him". This despite a house festooned with decorations and presents. Very odd. Further suggestion that we are more insular. The world stops at my garden fence and my ageing neighbour is not my concern. That's not universal, but it's more common than it ought to be.


As a comment: It can be quite intimidating to have a road user approach you in traffic and tap on a window. It hasn't happened to me, but women I know have been quite freaked out by it. That may sound silly, but in the first two seconds you have no clue as to the motive of the 'tapper'.

Before now I've flashed people who had a flat rear (hard to detect from inside some cars) and they gave me the finger when they saw me pointing at their wheel. I do sometimes think that are initial responses (motorist and cyclist) are now set far more on 'defence' mode than 'dialogue' mode.

Personally, I'd have no problem with someone tapping on my car window - but I can see how some might take it as somehow intrusive or threatening.

 

[Hip Priest]

I was out running last winter in the dark and saw a car coming past without lights on. I gestured to inform the driver and he pulled up shouting 'What's your ****ing problem?'

 

[Dan_h]

It is, it normally spells dangerous situation, and you have to stop them before they stop you. Also because they made the move to approach, they are the agressors.

To show I am fair for both sides of the coin, if a cyclist tried to shout at me while driving and tapping on the window complaining I didnt pass far enough away, or whatever some would feel gives them the right to moan and hit my vehicle. Id only ask politely once for them to leave me alone.
And if they even tried to throw something in my window, they would get what ever it was stuffed somewhere it would probably hurt a bit.

Tapping on the window and having a word politely is one thing (although in my experience generally pointless, few drivers are interested in hearing about any mistakes). Sometimes though the cyclists are simply aggressive, in the case of Traffic Driod his actions with the BMW for example were pretty aggressive, even without the use of swear words the intention seems to be the same.

In many cases I would say that if the cyclist is shouting at the driver for something the cyclist believes they have done wrong then it is not as easy as saying "the driver got out so they are the agressors", why would we (as cyclists) expect them to just sit in their car and suck up the abuse that is hurled their way?

 

[the reluctant cyclist]

I was out running last winter in the dark and saw a car coming past without lights on. I gestured to inform the driver and he pulled up shouting 'What's your ****ing problem?'

Yeah - I learned my lesson on that sort of thing - I was out in my car one day and a bloke in a big american day van thing kept on pulling out without indicating - it's hard to explain - so I tapped (just a little tap) on my horn - you know - to "let him know I was there" - hard to tell if it was right/left hand drive...


....bloody maniac ended up pulling completely accross both lanes to block me and shouting and screaming at me - calling me a "f**king stupid b*tch" amongst other things - I wasn't on a bike but was in a convertible with the top down - absolutely crapped myself I can tell you!

 

[400bhp]

Had 2 "incidents" over the last 24 hours.

2 "must pass the cyclist" moments. Bith passed then joined a back of a queue of traffic not 30 yds ahead.

I just road past and said "well, that got you far" as I filtered off into the distance.

That's about as far as I [like to] go these days.

 

[Mugshot]

I was out running last winter in the dark and saw a car coming past without lights on. I gestured to inform the driver and he pulled up shouting 'What's your ****ing problem?'

Not related to the original post but on the subject of misinterpreted communications, I read about a chap that having seen a policeman gesticulate at him responded in kind and flashed the Vs, (both were driving) not unexpectedly the policeman took exception to this and pulled the guy over, the driver explained that he thought it was unacceptable that the copper should call him a wan*er, to which the policeman explained "Actually sir I was telling you to put your seat belt on!"

 

[theclaud]

It can be quite intimidating to have a road user approach you in traffic and tap on a window. It hasn't happened to me, but women I know have been quite freaked out by it. That may sound silly, but in the first two seconds you have no clue as to the motive of the 'tapper'.

If you'd paid a little more attention when driving, you might guess what the motive of the tapper was, knowing full well you'd cut him up a few moments ago...

 

[dellzeqq]

thread migration alert!

I offer this as an idea knowing that it will not be for all of you, and not for all occasions....

it is better to deter than to complain afterwards. FNRttCers joke about the 'eyebrow of disapproval' but I can tell you that it works.

These last few years I've been cycling with Susie, and, when we ride singly, she rides behind me. I'd prefer it if she rode in front (and not simply because I enjoy the view) but she doesn't want to. So......I've been working on creating a kind of forcefield that goes back behind me, and I've found that looking over my shoulder at drivers and giving them a bit of a hard stare really does do the trick. I often get a resentful pout back, but I'll live with that. It's obviously not much good on the Girona to Figueres highway (and not much needed, given the consideration afforded to us by Spanish drivers) but in city, suburb and what passes for countryside in these parts, on all kinds of roads it really does make a difference. So I commend it to you..........

 

[Jezston]

When people knock on your front door at home do you also complain that they're "hitting your house"?

Haha that's perfect!

Why is it some drivers are so precious about their cars - like they get really angry, and understand others anger at the idea of someone so much as touching their cars?

I can understand feeling like that about a spouse or child, but an inanimate metal box?!?

 

[Dan B]

As a comment: It can be quite intimidating to have a road user approach you in traffic and tap on a window. It hasn't happened to me, but women I know have been quite freaked out by it. That may sound silly, but in the first two seconds you have no clue as to the motive of the 'tapper'.

Fair point, but this is not what col is concerned about. He is worrying that someone is "hitting his vehicle".

 

[Bicycle]

If you'd paid a little more attention when driving, you might guess what the motive of the tapper was, knowing full well you'd cut him up a few moments ago...

Ummm.... When I wrote 'it hasn't happened to me', in the phrase you quote, that meant it hasn't happened to me. That's how language works.

Also... The two instances that come to mind were for a fuel cap left off and someone asking to be given a Pay & Display window ticket. I didn't make any mention of these women cutting cyclists up.

Not all tapping on windows is related to cutting cyclists up. The point was a broader one, mitigating an initially defensive response from some people to a tap on the window.

You have to read my whole post for that, which can get very dull as I am a verbose old bastard. Worth doing though, if you're going to quote me with a response that doesn't fit the point I was making.

 

[Bicycle]

Fair point, but this is not what col is concerned about. He is worrying that someone is "hitting his vehicle".

Yes, I saw that Dan. You're right. I cannot answer for Col. Some people do react badly to that sort of thing.

 

[Dan B]

I can understand feeling like that about a spouse or child, but an inanimate metal box?!?

At this point a motor apologist would reply "it is a very valuable metal box which I have worked hard to afford and of which I take great care: is it any surprise that I feel some degree of identification with it". To which the answer is "no, but why then are you taking risks with it by driving it too close to other road users". Don't expect me to take more care of it than you do.

 

[Bicycle]

I can understand feeling like that about a spouse or child, but an inanimate metal box?!?

Inanimate metal box?

No! I read all the brochures and marketing documents.

It has a soul hewn from the rocks of the mighty Dolomites that tower above the factory where life was first breathed into its motor!

It has a heartbeat bestowed upon it by the genius of its Magnetti Marelli fuel system!

It breathes the very fire and flame of passion for motorsport!

Its unblinking headlights see all before it as it crouches to pounce at another stretch of Autostrada!

It yearns for the late-apex, tightening, 3rd-gear corner where its fully-independent rear suspension will allow it to flow harmoniously over the...

Eh? What do you mean, not literally?