Driver confrontation question

[martint235]

I'll usually only row with professional drivers (taxi etc) because it's their job on the line if they get too mouthy or hit me (So they won't do it), or women. Sounds bad but generally women tend not to get so physically abusive, and if they do they're smaller than me. You all know you do it even subconsciously - you don't pick a fight with a big fella if you don't have to.

I know it's a waste of time but it makes me feel better that because they've done something to piss somebody off so I've done the same back.

I don't meet very many and I've certainly not strayed into a row on the road with one yet!!

 

[pshore]

I think there is no point confronting drivers, since there stuck in a metal cage there probably stressed and in a bad mood already.

Most people do not appreciate being told they did something wrong by a complete stranger.

+1

I do have a tendency to tap on the windows when I feel like my life was in danger. Thankfully this does not happen very often. In 6 years of cycle commuting I have spoken with some 20 drivers. Here is my limited experience.

The almost exclusively male drivers look like they expecting a fight when I approach, you can see the red mist on their faces. Trying to remonstrate with raised voices or hand gestures is never going to persuade them of your point of view. Even calmly, if you tell a male their driving is poor, they will take is badly. If [edit: you are] angry, cycle past.

If you are going to say anything at all, tell them you are trying to make it home to your children, and tell them how scared you felt. Males don't deal with emotion well and it really puts them on the back foot and melts the hearts of all but the most hardened.

 

[GfromHull]

O.K I read about 90% of that, So what would you guys do if a policeman gave you a close pass and you both meet at the next roundabout. Would you say anything or just ride on?
I think most of boils down to the situation. Someone getting a little too close ..... Think I would let it go. A policeman who is there in enforce law giving you a close pass... I would goto town on his ass.

 

[Buddfox]

It's the hardest thing I've had to learn since beginning commuting in London - not primary or secondary positioning, many more life savers etc. but not over-reacting to bad driving. When I first started I was getting angry at a lot, but really now try and chill out.

I find one method which helps is to ask myself what I'd do if I was in a car, and usually that results in me saying 'Let it go'. Of course it's more annoying for cyclists if you have to brake and re-accelerate given the physical effort involved, and also there's a lot more adrenalin pumping from the exercise, but most of the incidents which I see and am involved in I soon realise are not that major. Whenever I get angry, I always regret it within about a minute and start chastising myself for over-reacting. But I don't find it easy at all, first instinct is always to start hollering or hand gesturing (my usual choice being an Italian hand shake, rather than anything ruder).

In response to other posts above, I never, ever shout at a woman. Just not the done thing.

 

[LCpl Boiled Egg]

O.K I read about 90% of that, So what would you guys do if a policeman gave you a close pass and you both meet at the next roundabout. Would you say anything or just ride on?
I think most of boils down to the situation. Someone getting a little too close ..... Think I would let it go. A policeman who is there in enforce law giving you a close pass... I would goto town on his ass.

Really? I wouldn't do anything to annoy a policeman. They won't admit to doing anything wrong, then they'll find something wrong with you or your bike and suddenly it's your problem, not theirs.

 

[gambatte]

It would have been that I'd have agreed with you, however.....

After recently complaining to police about parking on our street junction, which in 30 yards included:

1. Parking on the brow of a hill, which is also a sweeping left hand bend

2. parking opposite a junction,

3. parking in the mouth of a junction (18 inch from the give ways)

4. Parking virtually opposite a vehicle on the opposite side of the road*



The first two meant you had to approach the junction of the wrong side of the road, passing parked cars, when you couldn't see if anything was coming.

The third meant you couldn't enter the RH junction in the left hand lane.

The 4th meant that as soon as you entered the junction you had to lose all speed and edge forward crossing from the rh to the lh side of the road. I drive a C5 (citroen, not sinclair) anything bigger wouldn't have passed.

Oh yeah, both vehicles were partially on the pavement.

I actually got a knock on the door for Mrs Plod to say that it was awkward, but nothing illegal.... and her colleague concurred.

Similar line to what I got when I complained about parking at the local school. Strange when a 2 year old got hospitalised 18 months later they could turn out ticketing every day for a fortnight?

Would I call 'em on it now? Damn right. But I'd try to discuss it, rather than be confrontational straight away.

 

[Arjimlad]

It's not worth it really, in my view, ... if someone has put me in danger then I will try to say something but otherwise, it's not worth the bother. If they are on a mobile phone then they are unlikely to respond kindly to a stranger telling them they are in the wrong.

When I'm driving, if another driver on a mobile phone passes close enough, I usually give them a blast on the horn (which might make the person they are calling ask a question !). Passing queues of traffic I reckon about one in four will be sending a text, surfing the web or using the phone. We'd never get anywhere if we officiously took it upon ourselves to remonstrate with them all.

Once, a woman pulled out from a side road, when I had right of way, then braked hard, which made me swerve out into the path of an oncoming truck to avoid hitting the back of her car. The truck driver managed to stop in time thankfully. She sailed on in blissful ignorance.

I caught her up at the lights, but she ignored me, so I reported it to the Police who went to see her & her husband for some strong words of advice. That satisfied me !

 

[col]

Where's there an assault Gaz?

The driving was frankly dangerous especially at the start when the driver sped over the pedestrian crossing when people were crossing. But Traffic Droid clearly has issues himself. He should just get on with his own life rather than ranting and railing to people who will think he is a care in the community patient. You don't argue with drivers of big cars like that or any car that clearly could cause you a lot of harm. Having antagonsied him by pulling his tail too many times he still rides off in front of him!!! What a bell end. He will take on / annoy some one who WILL run him down. One is a long time dead. And what for? It's not worth it. Traffic Droid clearly has issues.

No one was crossing, they waited for the fast car to pass before stepping on to the crossing. That cyclist is a kicking waiting to happen

 

[HLaB]

I think one of my worse driver interactions was when, I didn't react. I got a close pass on a wide residential street after the peak hour (other traffic was non existent) but no worse than other close passes. He then slammed on the brakes repeatedly shouting, '****,*****,***** try that again hard man and I'll ******** kill you'. He kept that up for a while throwing his car into reverse, etc but tbh I didn't know what I was supposed to have done and I think my non reaction wound him up more. He then drove off, but a few moments later he came back repeating the garbage. My route, however next took me right by the Police College, so not surprisingly he finally took the hint that I wasn't going to react and disappeared

 

[fimm]

I am also trying to get less stressed by other people's driving. I think I picked the habit up from my parents, both of whom when driving tend to mutter comments about what other people are doing...

Being female I really don't want to get into a confrontation. However I slightly regret not speaking to a driver the other evening. I'd tapped on the side of his car because I felt he was drifting into me (we were both slowing for a red light). There was an ASL so I ended up in front of him. It is possible that if I'd started the conversation with something like "I'm sorry about that, but I wasn't sure if you knew I was there" I might have got a not-too-annoyed response from him. (He pointed at the side of the road as if he thought I should have been cycling on the pavement.) I could have taken the lane a bit more, which might have discouraged him from attempting to pass me in the 1st place.

 

[Cyclopathic]

I think it is human nature to choose weaker targets. But next time you're about to shout at a woman, just ask yourself 'Would I be doing this if she was a bloke?'. If the answer is no, then rein it in.

Quite a while ago I noticed I'd only say something to someone who at a glance I thought probably couldn't beat me up. It wasn't exactly a concious decision but having noticed it I now try to be fairer and more even handed, if indeed I say anything at all. If it shakes me up badly enough and I get the opportunity I try to be as polite to everyone as I would be to a vicious looking ape.

 

[Dan_h]

Just a thought, I have seen a couple of videos where the car driver gets out of the car to have a go at the cyclist (traffic droid has a couple of examples). This seems to be thought of as being really bad, but how is it worse than the cyclist yelling at the driver? Seems like double standards to me

 

[ferret fur]

In response to other posts above, I never, ever shout at a woman. Just not the done thing.

On the other hand, they sometimes have to reap what they sow. I occasionally find myself wondering in what circumstances a middle-class, middle-aged woman would hurl abuse at a unknown male stranger. Would they do it if we bumped into each other in the street while we were on foot? Do they tend to do it if both of us are in cars? Not in my experience. They do it because they get a sense of invulnerability from being in a car while the man is on a bike. I don't think it does any harm sometimes to remind them not to abuse the situation.

 

[gaz]

Just a thought, I have seen a couple of videos where the car driver gets out of the car to have a go at the cyclist (traffic droid has a couple of examples). This seems to be thought of as being really bad, but how is it worse than the cyclist yelling at the driver? Seems like double standards to me

People only get out of their car for 2 reasons, A. because they have completed their journey and are moving off else where B. to shout at or assault someone.
A driver getting out in traffic is most definitely a sign of aggression. Nothing much can happen to a driver if he stays in his protected tin shell.

 

[Bicycle]

People only get out of their car for 2 reasons, A. because they have completed their journey and are moving off else where B. to shout at or assault someone.

I lived in Belgrade in 1991 and their civic society was in flux for a number of reasons. An acquaintance of mine was a businessman and one day he gave me a lift through the big tunnel out of town.

Someone cut him up and he tooted. The guy leapt from his car (traffic was crawling) and made for us. My acquaintance pulled a HUUUUGE knife from his door pocket and held it up through the open driver's window.

The other chap stopped quickly, made apologetic noises and went back to his car.

I asked my acquaintance why he had a knife in his door.

"It can be useful" he said. As a confirmed member of the Cowardy-Custard Society, I was jolly glad he thought me a friend.

I really, really don't like to engage with other road users in debates about the quality of their (or my) driving or riding.