Embarrassing moments in life.

[johnnyb47]

Hi.
Sorry if this may come across a little crude, but I tend to have a slight warped sense of humour and thought I would share an embarrassing moment I had in our local B&M shop today.
This weekend I've been suffering from some bad flatulence, and whilst in the electrical aisle of B/Ms ,it struck again. I suddenly felt some discomfort and knew I had to let it go as it was impossible not to. It was quite busy in this particular aisle but nobody was near me so I tried in vein to let it go discretely and sneakily ,but to my horror it let rip like a depth charge going off. When I say everybody, I mean everybody heard it and looked at me. I was so embarrassed that i felt my face light up bright red with the shame of it.
It must of caused offence to some ,but I couldn't help but find the funny side of it whilst at the same time feeling totally ashamed.
As you can imagine I soon disappeared with my head down hoping no one recognized me.
As said before, sorry if this sounds a little crude and childish.
Have you an embarrassing story you could share that would put a smile on our faces.
All the best
Johnny.

 

[winjim]

My two year old has just realised that farts are funny. All day today she's been trumping and then giggling like a... two year old.

 

[Glow worm]

Outed...

 

[Glow worm]

By the way what's a B and M shop?

 

[winjim]

By the way what's a B and M shop?

It's like a shoot Wilko.

In fact, just being in B&M is surely embarrasing enough.

 

[stephec]

By the way what's a B and M shop?

It's like a BDSM shop without getting your pants pulled down and spanked whenever you go in.

 

[Fonze]

At whatever age, a fart is still funny ..
Unless it turns into something a bit lumpy

 

[Levo-Lon]

For my 40th birthday i'd decided to change my motorbike ' nothing unusual in that ive had 42 of them'.

Anyway i was in Taz motorcycles now called wheels in Peterborough and spotted this nice looking Honda Blackbird.... I'll have a sit on that.

It was parked in a row of other litre plus bikes and packed in tight so no room to just sling a leg over.
I squeezed in and wheel'd it forward and caught the side stand....holy crap!!!!
240kg falling onto me and a nice domino effect with FIVE more bikes going over
The sales man and the owner and all the people in the shop helped to lift the bikes up and off me.
I bought the bike after a very long discussion with the owner of the shop.

Ive had a few off's on bikes but what a friggin time to drop my first one.

Not a good day

 

[Drago]

The trick is to let it trickle out slowly, and then slowly move away.

Many years ago when I used to waste my time with that tiresome work malarkey, I worked for a few years in the police control room. One night I had a very bad tummy and was flatulating like a warthog who's been force fed curry and Pernod

Anyway, I finished my shift at 7 am and went home. Unbeknownst to me someone else had the unfortunate pleasure of sitting in my chair, and every time they shifted slightly a new wave of the aroma was squeezed out of the seat foam and the whole room gagged. It was a good 11am before the air cleared.

That evening I was arrested by the UN, as it seems my bottom contravenes numerous treaties against the use of chemical weapons.

 

[welsh dragon]

It's like a BDSM shop without getting your pants pulled down and spanked whenever you go in.

I am intrigued to know how YOU know what a BDSM shop is like.

 

[Drago]

I am intrigued to know how YOU know what a BDSM shop is like.

Accy told him

 

[Beebo]

My middle class sensibilities mean i would always leave the shop and go outside before letting rip.
It is just the polite thing to do.

 

[MikeG]

My middle class sensibilities mean i would always leave the shop and go outside before letting rip.
It is just the polite thing to do.

That's fair enough, but what happens if you are at the deepest part of Wookey Hole cave with 30 others, having eaten a bag of sultanas in the car beforehand?

No, no, I'm just asking. Entirely hypothetically of course......

 

[Levo-Lon]

That's fair enough, but what happens if you are at the deepest part of Wookey Hole cave with 30 others, having eaten a bag of sultanas in the car beforehand?

No, no, I'm just asking. Entirely hypothetically of course......

I was in a cave with a few others , guided..south coast near Beer.
2 of us had a few beers and as you do and sneaked off for relief.

The guide later said " most of the water in here fell 10000 years ago..some is very fresh while looking at us

 

[Dave7]

At whatever age, a fart is still funny ..
Unless it turns into something a bit lumpy

Saw it happen once. At a company conference.....10:00 am tea break after a night of free booze. This person was stood up but still slightly lifted his leg and let one go. The look on his face was priceless as he turned and ran for the lift. He came back 15 minutes later compete with changed undies.