Falling out over money

[gbb]

Its a big 'favour' , far bigger than normal but, id apply the same rules i use for everyone... I will do anything to help, to a point but...
It's one of those situations where you realise it wasnt thought out properly.
It may the lady simply doesn't realise the cost , or perhaps think she is entitled, or any other of a hundred reasons.
I did it once, learned, wouldn't do it again, period.

 

[simongt]

Another way of paying for the fuel costs is for the passenger to buy a meal for the driver at an appropriate stop.
Depends on the length of the journey and the poshness of the place they eat of course, but I sometimes do that and it works for me.

 

[Webbo2]

I once went climbing with a mate from the wall I had to drive 10 miles to pick him up, then it was 40 miles to the crag and back. Never offered me a bean, I was never able to climb on the days he could after that.Yet others were saying “How much do you think petrol will cost, here’s my half”

 

[Gillstay]

I made a grave stone for a very kind churchy person and when I handed it over they offered me nothing despite it having taken a long time and being very important to them. I asked a chum why. His answer. Because they do lots of things for many people and do not ask for any payment so they expect it to come to them the same. Very interesting I thought.

 

[nogoodnamesleft]

I made a grave stone for a very kind churchy person and when I handed it over they offered me nothing despite it having taken a long time and being very important to them. I asked a chum why. His answer. Because they do lots of things for many people and do not ask for any payment so they expect it to come to them the same. Very interesting I thought.

What I know as "Pay it forward " (more technically "serial reciprocity"?). Something I vey much adhere to and follow. ie you help person A (for nothing), person A helps person B for nothing), person B helps person C (for nothing) etc. until at dome point person <x> helps you (for nothing).

Many follow it without realising at least in some aspects of their life eg you stop to help a cyclist with a flat tyre and end-up giving the spare inner tube you carry to fix the problem (and don't get paid), etc. and at some point you receive similar assistance from somebody else. Not always of same value, just part of community.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

I made a grave stone for a very kind churchy person and when I handed it over they offered me nothing despite it having taken a long time and being very important to them. I asked a chum why. His answer. Because they do lots of things for many people and do not ask for any payment so they expect it to come to them the same. Very interesting I thought.

That is a very good point

I hate taking money from people for minor things - but that seem like a ratehr major one

reminds me of one time when I was not off work sick and decided to go for a drive in the late evening
This was in North Wales and I ended up driving over Pen-Y-Pas where the highest start point is for walking up the mountain
I pulled into teh car park - which was pretty much empty as it was getting dark and a couple of blokes walked over to me from the road

They asked if I knew when the next bus was due - or if they had stopped??

basically - they were stuffed - it was not summer at the time!

so I offered to give them a lift down the mountain.
Turned out that they were staying in Betwys-y-Coed which was totally the opposite direction to where I lived
I took them anyway as I was just out for a drive anyway

they offered petrol money - in fact they tried to give me what the full bus fare would have been!

I refused as I didn;t need it

The bloke that had offered it said
OK - thanks - We will remember it and make sure we do something similar for someone when we can - at least 3 times to spread it round


which seemed like an excellent response to me

I read somewhere that if you do a favour for someone and ask them to do the same or similar for 3 people in return when they feel they can

then after a few decades the whole world will spent their life looking for people to help
(OK - they won;t - but it is a nice idea!)

 

[T4tomo]

I made a grave stone for a very kind churchy person and when I handed it over they offered me nothing despite it having taken a long time and being very important to them. I asked a chum why. His answer. Because they do lots of things for many people and do not ask for any payment so they expect it to come to them the same. Very interesting I thought.

I must admit I'd be taken aback if someone presented me with my gravestone whilst I was still alive. If the "died" date was on it I'd be very alarmed indeed.

 

[All uphill]

I find the whole idea of giving and taking favours fraught. I'd rather give my time freely, not expecting any return, or not give my time at all.

I'd always expect to pay for costs someone else incurs on my behalf.

Keeping it simple works for me.

 

[Gillstay]

I must admit I'd be taken aback if someone presented me with my gravestone whilst I was still alive. If the "died" date was on it I'd be very alarmed indeed.

Why, do you have another option for the end of this lark. And if you knew the date you could organize and ensure all went as well as possible.