fatherhood. When is it too late?

[dellzeqq]

out tonight with my friend Stuart. He's two years older than me. As in 60. His first daughter is 2 years old. So (maths is my strong point) he was 57 when she was conceived.

Which, to me, is inconceivable. What do you think?

 

[ASC1951]

Although there isn't the same physical limit that there is with motherhood, IIRC the risk of genetic defects inherited from the father increases as he gets past his early 30s and become substantial after mid 40s.

 

[Canrider]

..you keep using that word...I do not think it means what you think it does...
/Inigo Montoya

 

[Beebo]

There are social and financial issues to consider.

Will he have to work until he's 75 to support your kids and can he provide a relevant social upbringing in his 60's. Modern life moves quick and kids need to be up with the latest things not living with old tired parents.

Kids demand time and attention from you, I'm mid 30's with 2 young kids and they knacker me out. I cant imagine being 60 with young children.

 

[Maz]

When is it too late? Post-snip, I'd say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Flying Dodo]

Having children at that age, you've got to factor in the possibility that the dad might not be around to see his daughter reach her teens. Which is a time when a dad can be useful. Some people may not be too concerned about that of course, and want to focus on the present.

 

[ColinJ]

I can't even look after myself properly, let alone a child, so I'd say that in my case it is more a case of when is too soon, and the answer to that is now and for the foreseeable future, especially since I'm only 2 years younger than you, dz!

 

[ianrauk]

I had my first child at the age of 21. My second child at the age of 44.
I have found it to be so much easier dealing with a child at an older age. At 21 I found it a physical and mental drain.
Being older it seems that you have more patience with children. What really irritated me about children when I was a young adult doesn't now. I suppose it's a mature adult thing. Henry (now coming up to 2 years old, don't time fly) also makes me feel young and energised.

I sort of have the best of both worlds with my kids. With my older son I can go to football, have a good old adult natter and beer. With my younger son I can roll arond the floor with him blowing raspberries on his tummy.

If I had my time again I would wait until I was in my 40's to have a child. But certainly not into my 50's.

 

[BigonaBianchi]

well if he'd gone on that ride with mudguards on this would never have happened

 

[Brains]

out tonight with my friend Stuart. He's two years older than me. As in 60. His first daughter is 2 years old. So (maths is my strong point) he was 57 when she was conceived.

Which, to me, is inconceivable. What do you think?

So lets put in the markers:

Aged 5 she goes to school - he is 63
Aged 11 she goes to to proper school - he is 69 (he is well beyond retirement)
Aged 14 first boyfriend comes home - he is 72 (now done the three score years and ten)
Aged 16 she thinks of running off with the circus - he is 74
Aged 18 she leaves school - he is 76
Aged 22 she leaves University - he is 80
Aged 25 she wants to borrow money for a deposit on her first flat (rent or buy) - he is 83
Aged 30 she meets the love of her life and wants Dad to walk her down the aisle - he is 88
Aged 33 she has twins (left it a bit late so its UVF), can Dad babysit ?- he is 90
Aged 37 twins are 5, she wants to go back to work - Can Dad do the school run ? - he is 95
Aged 43 the twins are 10 and start appreciating the grandparents for knowledge and presents - he is 100

Go figure ......

(My younger sister is exactly 100 years younger older than her grandfather, so I'm aware of the real issues)

 

[Noodley]

It is never too late nor too early. It is just one of those things in life, no need to attach meaning nor social norms. It just is.

 

[Norm]

(My younger sister is exactly 100 years older than her grandfather, so I'm aware of the real issues)

It might be late on a Friday but I don't think that you got that right.

 

[Noodley]

And Brains...lets go figure when you can post one reply !!

 

[slowmotion]

I don't think that kids really care too much what their parents are like when they are young, as long as they get love. There is however a stage in their early teens when they really want to fit in with their peers, and any unusualness about their parents is an acute source of worry and embarassment. If you concieve at 55, you will be 70 when they are a teenager. Most of their friends' parents will be late thirties, perhaps. Anyway, I never aspired to be a geriatric stallion. Rod Stewart....

 

[Maz]

It is never too late nor too early. It is just one of those things in life, no need to attach meaning nor social norms. It just is.

I agree. I don't think we should over-analyse these things. As long as the child is loved is all that really matters. Who knows how our futures will pan out? Cherish the time you have together.