Back in the good old days on exercise, we used to live on bratty and chips with either mayonnaise or mustard, swilled down with copious amounts of lager from the yellow handbag or cheap bottles of wine with a crown top on.
Then there was the time we went into a Greek restaurant, but the menu was all in German, so we was totally confused and I still haven't got the faintest what we had but that might have been the lager effecting my memory because I can only remember going into it and reading the menu then everything goes blank.
Then there was the time we managed to pull ourselves away from the bars in the red light district to get something to eat one afternoon and buy a few presents for an hour. We ordered 3 steaks but the waiter was a bit confused and finally managed to explain we was ordering 3 bowls of gravy.
And since you mentioned mushrooms, we went for a two day detailed recce to see our areas we would deploy in if the balloon ever went up, and we were given a bit of spending money to cover expenses as we would be "roughing" it in hotels. On the night, we all went to a restaurant and pooled most of our money together and I have not the foggiest what I had but it was plastered in mushrooms in sauce and once again swilled down with lots of lager and more from the fridge back in the hotel. Needless to say next day I felt a trifle bit ropey as we drove around the area's with me hanging out the back of the landrover. At one point, this big black BMW was tailgating us, when all of a sudden I hooped up and showered the BMW with mushrooms and lager. I don't think the driver liked mushrooms either as he dropped back rather sharpish.
Otherwise I don't really know what to eat in a restaurant, but the schnapps is good stuff, we used to work our way across the optics with all the different flavours, from left to right, and then do it again when we got to the end but with doubles and continue etc and the next thing you knew you was waking up next morning a bit bemuddled.
Perhaps Arch you should have asked what's the best drink.