SatNavSaysStraightOn
Changed hemispheres!
- Location
- ɐᴉlɐɹʇsn∀ 'ɐɹɹǝquɐƆ
yep - it is... thank you.
Give me some dialogue from your day
- Thread starter Crackle
- Start date
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BigonaBianchi
Yes I can, Yes I am, Yes I did...Repeat.
- Location
- Iskele TRNC & Mordor UK
In the hospital car park I'm wearing a hi vis night vision jacket jeans and a blue Brighton hove albion wooly hat:
Angry driver bloke: Oi Mate! The bloody machine keeps spewing out my ticket!!
Me: Erm...
Him: Look for f%*s sake what is it with you people!!!
Me: excuse me
Him: You screw us for £4 then dont let us out and you can teven keep the bloody ticket machines working! Typical of you lot...
me: Calm down a moment and...
Him: Dont you ffing tell me to calm down just fix the ffing machine and let me out of here!!!!
Me: You need to pay at the office th emachine is broken, it's over there (pointing to th ehut where I had just come from to pay my own ticket)
Him: You go and get the bloody ticket !!(trys to give me a fiver)
Me : Sorry mate just calm down ok..
Him: Are you gonna fix the effing machine or what?
Me: NO
Him: why the F not !?!
Me: Because I dont work here, I've just been visiting .
Him: Oh I'm so sorry mate.
Angry driver bloke: Oi Mate! The bloody machine keeps spewing out my ticket!!
Me: Erm...
Him: Look for f%*s sake what is it with you people!!!
Me: excuse me
Him: You screw us for £4 then dont let us out and you can teven keep the bloody ticket machines working! Typical of you lot...
me: Calm down a moment and...
Him: Dont you ffing tell me to calm down just fix the ffing machine and let me out of here!!!!
Me: You need to pay at the office th emachine is broken, it's over there (pointing to th ehut where I had just come from to pay my own ticket)
Him: You go and get the bloody ticket !!(trys to give me a fiver)
Me : Sorry mate just calm down ok..
Him: Are you gonna fix the effing machine or what?
Me: NO
Him: why the F not !?!
Me: Because I dont work here, I've just been visiting .
Him: Oh I'm so sorry mate.
Lanzecki
Über Member
- Location
- A Boreen, Ireland
Arch
Married to Night Train
- Location
- Salford, UK
Should have just taken his fiver and driven off!
vernon
Harder than Ronnie Pickering
- Location
- Meanwood, Leeds
Me: Mum said that you are going to eat healthily..
Daughter: Yep, thats right.
Me: Going vegetarian?
Daughter: Pretty much so.
Me: No meat at all?
Daughter: Not until I go back to Bangor, get drunk and a kebab will sound like a good idea.
Me: That's my girl!!!
Daughter: Yep, thats right.
Me: Going vegetarian?
Daughter: Pretty much so.
Me: No meat at all?
Daughter: Not until I go back to Bangor, get drunk and a kebab will sound like a good idea.
Me: That's my girl!!!
laurence
Veteran
- Location
- in the aeroplane over the sea
sitting in wagamama last night after an afternoon at the science museum and a fraught journey home through apres pooball traffic... i retrieved my Kosntruktor camera (a DIY job that cost all of £30) and snapped a couple of shots of girlski. she looked at me and said..
"did you take photos of me?"
me: "yes"
girlski: "i look terrible, delete them"
me: "it's film"
"did you take photos of me?"
me: "yes"
girlski: "i look terrible, delete them"
me: "it's film"
MickeyBlueEyes
Eat, Sleep, Ride, Repeat.
- Location
- Derbyshire
Me: Excuse me, do you have this jacket in a small ?
Shopkeeper: No sorry, we only have an extra large left, would you like to try that ?
Me: I don't think that will fit me do you....
Shopkeeper: No, probably not
Me: Probably not ? How small can an extra large be.....
Shopkeeper: No sorry, we only have an extra large left, would you like to try that ?
Me: I don't think that will fit me do you....
Shopkeeper: No, probably not
Me: Probably not ? How small can an extra large be.....
A question I find myself asking every time I try on Italian-sourced cycling clothing.
gbb
Legendary Member
- Location
- Peterborough
Just popped into the supermarket near work to get some stuff for breakfast.. the shop was eerily quiet and as I got to the tills, they're all apparently closed but there's three staff by the ciggy counter. On seeing me, one smiled and said..
'Till three's free, we're quiet, I was just chatting with the girls'
'Good job
, there's too much rushing round nowadays, take it easy while you can'
'That'll be £1.90, ..its been really quiet the last few days......, nice to...'
I cut her short...'too much talking, im in a rush y'know, i havnt got all day...
Its one of those times you hope the recipient got the joke and irony...she did
The woman behind me looked a tad shocked, then realised i was joking...
'Till three's free, we're quiet, I was just chatting with the girls'
'Good job
, there's too much rushing round nowadays, take it easy while you can''That'll be £1.90, ..its been really quiet the last few days......, nice to...'
I cut her short...'too much talking, im in a rush y'know, i havnt got all day...
Its one of those times you hope the recipient got the joke and irony...she did
The woman behind me looked a tad shocked, then realised i was joking...
booze and cake
probably out cycling
Not what you'd call standard dialogue, but in a new evolutionary development I've just conducted some echo location experiments that gave some depressing results.
On a brunch o'clock mission I ambled over to the fridge. I open the door expecting to bask in an ironic Ready Brek glow™ of low effort yummy munchables, but am instead met with the haunting whale-like moan of the echo of my rumbling stomach reverberating around the empty cabinet. My fridge has vocalised its emptiness, its lashing it down with rain, nearly everythings going to be shut tomorrow and I need to go shopping. Unfortunately my attempt at dialogue for the day is littered with forceful f's and pathetic groans.
On a brunch o'clock mission I ambled over to the fridge. I open the door expecting to bask in an ironic Ready Brek glow™ of low effort yummy munchables, but am instead met with the haunting whale-like moan of the echo of my rumbling stomach reverberating around the empty cabinet. My fridge has vocalised its emptiness, its lashing it down with rain, nearly everythings going to be shut tomorrow and I need to go shopping. Unfortunately my attempt at dialogue for the day is littered with forceful f's and pathetic groans.
Last edited:
Andy_R
Hard of hearing..I said Herd of Herring..oh FFS..
- Location
- County Durham
Me in local footwear shop "Have you got any boot laces?"
Shopworker "Yeah, what colour"
Me "Brown, flat if you've got them"
Shopworker "Here you go, how many eyelets?"
Me "Well, the old ones were 1.4m long"
Shopworker "Yeah, but how many eyelets. These ones only come in centimeters or inches"
Shopworker "Yeah, what colour"
Me "Brown, flat if you've got them"
Shopworker "Here you go, how many eyelets?"
Me "Well, the old ones were 1.4m long"
Shopworker "Yeah, but how many eyelets. These ones only come in centimeters or inches"
Thomk
Guru
- Location
- Warwickshire
Daughter 2: Is she in here?
Me: No
D2: Pinky promise?
Me: No
D2: That means she's definitely in here!
Me: Fill your boots
D2: I don't think she's in here
And off she went.
Me: No
D2: Pinky promise?
Me: No
D2: That means she's definitely in here!
Me: Fill your boots
D2: I don't think she's in here
And off she went.
simon the viking
Guru
Had similiar conversations myself on numerous occasions!
Andrew_Culture
Internet Marketing bod
- Location
- The People's Republic Of Suffolk.
I'm working at home doing code stuff, so I've put on my over-ear headphones and shut the study door so I can concentrate. I took the headphones off for a moment and ventured out into the house, I heard my wife say to my two-year-old
'but now there's poo everywhere'
so I went back into the study and put the headphones back on.
'but now there's poo everywhere'
so I went back into the study and put the headphones back on.
