Give me some dialogue from your day

[jhawk]

Me: Shall I have my tea now?

Me: No, wait a bit you greedy get...

Oh, the inner dialogue that I have with myself every day, several times a day... (I'm talking about cups thereof).

 

[Andy_R]

"chop it up into little bits and set fire to it"
3

 

[gbb]

Me to line leader, mockingly...
'Jeans, jeans ?..What kind of uniform is that ?' (Im not her supervisor, what shes wearing has nothing to do with me)
'The kind I'm wearing, you don't like it, ? You know what you can do '
'Tell you what, if I was the boss, you'd be the first I'd sort out, you just do as you like'
'I never took any notice of what you said before, i wont start now '
'Bloody ell, youre trouble you are ...i hate smart arses '
And with a cackle, she replied...
'It'll take someone better than you to sort me out'

Typical of the banter at work....

 

[ScotiaLass]

19yr old son: Mum can you sew my pj bottoms, they have a hole and my bits are falling out!

Me: Why can't you sew them yourself?

Son: Because I have a p*nis. My people don't 'do' sewing.

God loves a trier son.

 

[gbb]

BANG !!!!
Me to colleague, sitting in the workshop..
'What the bloody hell was that '
Whatever it was left a pile of poo on the roof.
We wandered out into the yard and a nearby truck driver said...
'Three swans just hit the building ..one is flying over that way..(and indeed, we could see him low over the field nearby)...' two have gone down behind your workshop '
Theres not much room back there, compressor sheds, pipes, outbuildings etc etc.
I wandered quietly round, to see a jeuvenile swan, still a good size waddling between a wall and a rubbish compactor, oblivious, or undetered by me. He/she made its way out into the yard and onto the grass field, later to amble onto a water filled dyke nearby.
We never saw the third, the adult that flew off, we didnt see again
The trials and tribulations of young swan families...

 

[gbb]

Grandaughter, 8 years old and an angel (IMO of course )...
'I know EXACTLY what i want for my birthday grandad, i want some elastic bands '
'Why, whatcha want them for ?'
'Everyone at school is making bangles out of them, we join them together'
'Big ones or little ones, coloured or plain ?'
'Little ones, coloured '
'Ok babes, specially for you on your birthday '
Her face dropped just a smidgeon (her birthday is a month away )
'Dont worry, i'll sort you out '
...her face lightens.

Later, we're leaving.. she catches my eye across the room and she silently mouths...
'elastic bands '
I wink back and silently mouth ..
'ooohkay, coloured ones '
A silent and happy 'yeah' was the reply.

Looks like Im off to the shops In the morning...how can i refuse

 

[gbb]

Mum and dad are 84. Dad is poorly again and in hospital. Mum is active but slowing mentally, it takes a few seconds for things to sink in. I ask dad if he fancies anything from the shop, a packet of crisps and a bottle of Drench.
Mum...
'Its still mineral water mind, not that fizzy stuff.'
'What flavour mum ?
'Orange, make sure you get the still water one '
'Is it bottled by naked maidens ? I ask

Mum hesitates for a second, her expression is thoughtful ....'No, i dont think so '
Me...
Dad.... 'I cant believe you fell for that '
Mum..

A couple minutes of hilarity followed.

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

Cycling through Delamere Forest and we spot 3 lads and teenager girl climbing out from behind some of the stacked wood piles...

A few moments pass then my OH comments

My OH: "3 to 1...erhhh"
Me: "well there are... it could potentially work"
OH: "they could have gone a bit deeper"
Me: ...."do you think this conversation is working well?"
OH: "possibly not. ...into the woodland..."
Me: ""

silence returns....

 

[Lullabelle]

This morning we went into B&Q, in the queue in front of us were 3 people who spent a few hundred quid on just a few bits then paid in cash

Me: who the hell spends that much and pays in cash?????

 

[Octet]

This morning we went into B&Q, in the queue in front of us were 3 people who spent a few hundred quid on just a few bits then paid in cash

Me: who the hell spends that much and pays in cash?????

You'd be surprised, my part time job is in retail and you occasionally get people walk in and pay in £50 notes (with their wallets clearly containing many more).... it's probably best you don't question how or why they have that sort of money in that form.

 

[Lullabelle]

You'd be surprised, my part time job is in retail and you occasionally get people walk in and pay in £50 notes (with their wallets clearly containing many more).... it's probably best you don't question how or why they have that sort of money in that form.

It just seems unusual these days, so used to cards.

 

[Cold]

I pulled into the side of the road to workout where I need to go next on my ride and I hear a strange noise and turn round.
Old Lady "Don't be alarmed I only have hiccups"
Me "Eh Okay"

 

[Ganymede]

I was on a train earlier today - a young man got out at Sevenoaks, talking on the phone:

"... yeah, listen, Mum, I smoke a half a day, for the last two months I've smoked a half a day, a half costs 90 quid...." *disappears off the train*

Me:

He was just an ordinary looking young bloke, not posh, in a grey sweatshit.

 

[perplexed]

I was on a train earlier today - a young man got out at Sevenoaks, talking on the phone:

"... yeah, listen, Mum, I smoke a half a day, for the last two months I've smoked a half a day, a half costs 90 quid...." *disappears off the train*

Me:

He was just an ordinary looking young bloke, not posh, in a grey sweatshit.

Really!!??

 

[Ganymede]

Really!!??

oops... sweatshirt.... sorry!

I don't even know what he meant when he said "a half". Of what? What costs that much? (nb I am very naive).