Has anyone ever tried/accidentally tried to kill you... Other than Doctors?

[Mad Doug Biker]

In the same vein as the 'Has anyone saved your life?' thread

Ok, so this came about because I saw this and realised I had been the recipient, albeit it not quite being a shovel, and remembered this:

My Dad nearly killed (or nearly blinded me anyway) with a garden fork when I was about 5. Ok, it was accidental but still quite careless of him - He'd swung it over his shoulder, not knowing I was right behind him. It hit me on my nose, about half an inch below my left eye. I just remember seeing it coming at me, I thought it would stop in time, Daddy must have known what he was doing, right? Then a 'BONK!' as it knocked me off my feet. My Dad was more upset about it than I was!
It wasn't a shovel, but, still...
...No, no, I don't wonder... I've been there, done that! 😆



And that is where trust issues are made.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Does my younger self, doing stupid reckless things, count?

 

[Emanresu]

When I was younger (6-8) another kid threw half a brick at me. Had the scar for years until the hair departed and it's no longer noticeable. Around the same time I had a go myself, and opened a car door and fell out at about 30 mph. No child locks!!!. I was more flexible in those days and was able to bounce.

Have come off the bike many times but that comes under the category of fun.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

He'd swung it over his shoulder, not knowing I was right behind him. It hit me on my hose

No male wants to be hit in the hose.

 

[Electric_Andy]

I think I mentioned it in the other thread, but when I was about 15 my Dad bought a new rifle. We had it set up on a work mate in the field to get the sights set up. After each shot I was picking up the shells so they wouldn't go up into a cow's foot. Well on this occasion Dad decided to stay down and take 2 shots without telling me. The first went off, I walked in front the rifle to pick up the spent shell, just to hear another go off. I don't know how it missed me...probbaly only by inches and at that range (about 10ft) would have done a lot of damage.

 

[figbat]

A franchised dealer workshop gave me my car back in a lethal condition. They had had the gearbox out to replace some parts under warranty. When I got it back I noticed a judder at speed. I got all the wheels checked for balance but it never changed. I put the car, which was AWD, up on ramps and inspected the prop shaft, thinking it might have thrown a balance weight.

I found that of the three bolts that hold the front of the shaft to the gearbox, two were missing and the shaft had rotated about the remaining one. If this had failed at speed the prop shaft would have become either a flail or a pole vault. The dealer tried to brush it under the carpet. They sorted it out but never admitted any fault. I was livid and refused to go there again.

 

[Kevberlin]

It appears to be attempt murder every time my wife cooks a meal.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

No male wants to be hit in the hose.

Typo corrected, nose, NOSE, but yes not the hose either!

To be fair, hose is funnier though, but it then conjures up an odd physical image of me, I mean, was I very small and my hose so big it was pointed in my face? Was my hose so long that I wrapped it around me, up my back and back down over my head? And how many times could I wrap it around myself anyway? 🤷😆 😆

 

[numbnuts]

Maybe not killed, but I would have been blind or may have had brain injury.
I didn't know this until a few years ago, it frightened me at first, but then realised how and why it happened.
I was told that when I was a few weeks old my sister tried to poke my eyes out with a pair of scissors.
She was three years older then me and of course “top dog” with all the relations......until I came along as I had beautiful blue eyes and of course aunty's and uncles would comment on that and in return my sister was ignored, this is quite common in all family's, new baby takes preference over everything, including the husband in some cases.
Anyway my sister was caught with a pair of scissors in her hand as was asked “what are you going to do with them” she replied “I'm going to poke his eyes out as I don't like them”.

 

[Ripple]

Twice as far as I can remember.

1st one is very similar to @Mad Doug Biker. I was probably 5yo. My grandma was working outside, taking care of flowers before winter comes. I was wandering around her for a while. Next thing I know I got a shovel right into my face just under my left eye. Obviously grandma got the life scared out of her while I didn't understand what is all that fuss about. Yeah it did hurt and it was bleeding but I was too young then to understand possible outcomes. The scar is 1 inch long and because it hasn't been stitched up nobody can see it (I can).

2nd was in 2016 I think. Finished loading a lorry and went to see if a workmate needs help. Drove my forklift behind him (he was in a FLT too). Now normally I jumped out of FLT and went by foot the remaining few steps to the person. I don't know why that time I stayed in my FLT. Again, next thing I know that workmate (without looking back which is a big no no) reverses his FLT on a full speed. Right into the side of my FLT where I should have been standing. The BANG was impressive. If I was on the ground he would crushed my legs and pelvic area (both FLT weighed a ton).

 

[ColinJ]

My dad had a go when I was very young...

When I was about 3 years old, my dad did something incredibly stupid - he picked me up and dangled me off a railway bridge when a steam train was thundering by below! It traumatised me ...

I mentioned it to him a couple of years before he died and he was upset to realise that I remembered it. It's not the kind of thing that you tend to forget!

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Typo corrected, nose, NOSE, but yes not the hose either!

To be fair, hose is funnier though, but it then conjures up an odd physical image of me, I mean, was I very small and my hose so big it was pointed in my face? Was my hose so long that I wrapped it around me, up my back and back down over my head? And how many times could I wrap it around myself anyway? 🤷😆 😆

Did the garden need watering?

 

[Ming the Merciless]

My dad had a go when I was very young...

He wasn’t upset, he still had smoke in his eyes

 

[ColinJ]

He wasn’t upset, he still had smoke in his eyes

Funnily enough, it was the steam/smoke that I remembered.

My dad admitted that it had frightened me so much that I nearly wriggled out of his grasp!

 

[Punkawallah]

‘So far without success - I’m a wily one’