Horses?

[tdr1nka]

Why can't they have 20 cows per 6 x n acres, where n is the number of weeks it takes for the grass to grow back. And make those n 6 acre fields adjacent to each other - so say if there is only 12 acres bordered by road, and it takes a week for the grass to grow back, then they can only have 20 cows in that space of land, and they have to move from one half (6 acres) to the other half separated by a fence, on a weekly basis. Those 20 cows can never leave that 12 acres, they just move from one half of it to the other. THEY CAN'T HAVE MORE THAN THAT AMOUNT OF COWS!

Have you never traveled on London Underground during rush hour?
T'is a bad analogy, but I felt I had to say it.

 

[bonj2]

I'm just waiting for bonj to explain the difference between a horse and pony... (Without looking it up, of course....)

they are derived from the same base species in the same way that elephants are derived from the same base species as mammmoths.

 

[bonj2]

How would you transport the cows up into Scotland though? Say the farm was near Grantham, how would you transport the cows and what road would you use?

cows off a farm near grantham would ideally be slaughtered in a grantham abbatoir and fed to people in grantham, leaving both lanes of the A1 clear for people with a real need to use it.

 

[bonj2]

Have you never traveled on London Underground during rush hour?
T'is a bad analogy, but I felt I had to say it.

who said they have to have cows in the middle of london?
OR are you talking about slaughtering cows by running them over with underground trains?
don't really understand your point

 

[tdr1nka]

It was a point about overcrowding, I think.
Turning the Undergroud into an abattoir is interesting tho.
You could pick up some mince, I'm presuming that's the only setting Underground trains have, on your way home.

 

[bonj2]

you probably shouldn't be contributing to a discussion on the best way to manage livestock for the ideal agriculturally efficient nation, because your only interest seems to be a selfish one of requiring anything to be transported as far as possible using lorries. If you could transport something all the way up to scotland and then the same thing back down again as long as you get paid you'd probably do it. In fact you probably do. You're the reason congestion's so bad!

 

[bonj2]

It was a point about overcrowding, I think.

Come to think of it, cows don't really need exercise. If you could have a whole massive field completely FULL of cows, i.e. tessellating, they wouldn't be able to get any exercise and therefore the meat would probably be tenderer. Not sure how they'd sleep though edit: ah, i know you could simply have a (re-)movable fence to give them a few feet extra each at night, then stand them all up again and compress them in in the morning.

 

[bonj2]

It was a point about overcrowding, I think.
Turning the Undergroud into an abattoir is interesting tho.
You could pick up some mince, I'm presuming that's the only setting Underground trains have, on your way home.

But it would be pointlessly inefficient, think of the effort compared to doing it with normal trains.
The most efficient way of slaughtering cows, far more efficient even than an abbatoir, would be to just go into the field with an uzi or other machine gun and just open fire. I don't really know why they don't...I presume it's for political reasons, something about keeping abbatoirs in business.

 

[Chuffy]

Come to think of it, cows don't really need exercise. If you could have a whole massive field completely FULL of cows, i.e. tessellating, they wouldn't be able to get any exercise and therefore the meat would probably be tenderer. Not sure how they'd sleep though edit: ah, i know you could simply have a (re-)movable fence to give them a few feet extra each at night, then stand them all up again and compress them in in the morning.

How are you going to feed the cows one cow in from the edge of this massive clump of cows?

You really haven't thought this through, have you?

 

[Chuffy]

You would have to work out some way of collecting all the bullets stuck in the cow wouldn't you?

Depends on what type of caliber though 7.62mm instead .22 maybe even use a five-o as demonstrated by Rambo. So the rounds go straight through. After all you don't want to be sued because someone sitting down to their Sunday roast has cracked a tooth on a bullet.

BUT, if you use a high velocity armour piercing round and you've got your cows neatly tessellated, then you could potentially off several cows with a single round, which ends up smacking safely into a pile of haybales on the other side of the field. Of course, you'll need to get the haybales there in a big lorry, but hey, that's easy enough to achieve.

 

[bonj2]

How are you going to feed the cows one cow in from the edge of this massive clump of cows?

You really haven't thought this through, have you?

They'll still be able to bend their heads down and eat the grass that they're standing on.
I have thought it through. It relies on movable fences, but they shouldn't be that hard.
So, where were we - yes, after a day you'd be left with a regular array of patches of depleted grass, and lush grass in between. You'd then simply move all the fences so the bits of grass the cows heads were above was an uneaten patch.
They'd be more compressed in sideways than lengthways. They wouldn't be able to move forward or backwards, but only mainly due to friction with the cow either side, but they'd be able to move their head up and down as their head isn't the widest part of their body.

 

[bonj2]

BUT, if you use a high velocity armour piercing round and you've got your cows neatly tessellated, then you could potentially off several cows with a single round, which ends up smacking safely into a pile of haybales on the other side of the field. Of course, you'll need to get the haybales there in a big lorry, but hey, that's easy enough to achieve.

No, you wouldn't need that. If you had a long enough line of cows it would be bound to stop in one of them, you'd just need to work out which one it had stopped in, by which was the next one still alive.
IN fact, my you've just highlighted another advantage of my tessellatory cows idea - they would be MUCH easier to slaughter. You could simply fire through their lined up heads - who eats head for god's sake? You could even use a massive long guillotine to decpitate the whole of the front row at once.

 

[Chuffy]

They'll still be able to bend their heads down and eat the grass that they're standing on.

These are cows, not giraffes. They are going to able to eat the grass directly behind the hooves of the cow in front. One wink of that cow's sphincter and dinner is gone.

I have thought it through. It relies on movable fences, but they shouldn't be that hard.
So, where were we - yes, after a day you'd be left with a regular array of patches of depleted grass, and lush grass in between. You'd then simply move all the fences so the bits of grass the cows heads were above was an uneaten patch.
They'd be more compressed in sideways than lengthways. They wouldn't be able to move forward or backwards, but only mainly due to friction with the cow either side, but they'd be able to move their head up and down as their head isn't the widest part of their body.

O-kaaaayyyyyy....
So, each cow basically gets about 2' square of land to graze per day. Assuming it's not covered in poo pizza, that's going to give each cow less that half a pound of grass per day. Of course, as your cows starve you'll be able to fit more cows into the field. This increases your cow/wealth significantly.

Bonj, you are Bernie Madoff AAICMFP.

 

[bonj2]

These are cows, not giraffes. They are going to able to eat the grass directly behind the hooves of the cow in front. One wink of that cow's sphincter and dinner is gone.


O-kaaaayyyyyy....
So, each cow basically gets about 2' square of land to graze per day. Assuming it's not covered in poo pizza, that's going to give each cow less that half a pound of grass per day. Of course, as your cows starve you'll be able to fit more cows into the field. This increases your cow/wealth significantly.

Bonj, you are Bernie Madoff AAICMFP.

NO! they would be head-to-head, and arse-to-arse!
have them all facing the same way and you're screwed, schoolboy error.

 

[bonj2]

These are cows, not giraffes. They are going to able to eat the grass directly behind the hooves of the cow in front. One wink of that cow's sphincter and dinner is gone.


O-kaaaayyyyyy....
So, each cow basically gets about 2' square of land to graze per day. Assuming it's not covered in poo pizza, that's going to give each cow less that half a pound of grass per day. Of course, as your cows starve you'll be able to fit more cows into the field. This increases your cow/wealth significantly.

Bonj, you are Bernie Madoff AAICMFP.

it could be every few hours, the fences could shift automatically on a timer.