How do you like your directions?

[Mad Doug Biker]

I'd love to hear my dog give directions

'At the lamp post where the Akita from up the road always pees against, turn left, walk along.... past the bit were there is usually some food on the pavement, enter the park.... there's usually something to roll in there..., return to the path and continue forwards until you come to that that bush I like, turn right.... etc etc'

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

...... At the house where the Jack Russels I like to bark at live, turn left......

 

[Archie_tect]

I did once give directions to a Dutch family to find the North Shields ferry.... after which Mrs A_T said , you've just sent them in totally the wrong direction... 10 minutes later we saw them driving back looking very confused, they didn't stop to ask me on the way back.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Carry on straight past the garden where that daft old Alsation goes 'AAARRRRRRRR!!' at everything....

 

[PeteXXX]

When asking for directions in a village a couple of years ago, I was informed by a straw sucking local to "Turn right where the phone box used to be"...

 

[Archie_tect]

Oooh, I wouldn't start from 'ere....

 

[fossyant]

Beep...

That's what the Garmin says.

The lady in the glove box on the car says, "in 100 yards turn left". Can't seem to get her out, bit wedged in.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

At the exit to the park, turn right and head towards that takeaway with all those nice smells and... and.... a BIN outside!! Such lovely BIN food.... and the smells, did I mention the smells?? And the food??!!

Oh, sorry, anyway, continue along the street.....

 

[ColinJ]

The first time I came to Hebden Bridge was over 30 years ago. I was going to stay with a friend and had vague instructions of how to get to her mother's house which was in an area called 'Birchcliffe'.

I stopped and old man and asked him the way but he'd never heard of that part of town. He'd lived here, in a small West Yorkshire town all his life yet he had never heard of a major part of it. He wasn't stupid, and he was being deliberately nasty to an 'offcumden'; he just didn't know where it was!

We were standing by this bus stop at the time ... Now, advance the Streetview camera through the pedestrian lights, and turn to look at the steep road going back up the hill to the left, observing the name of the road on the sign on the wall!

 

[coffeejo]

Combination of 1 and 3 for me.

(Had a huge row with Mother Dearest once after I got lost following her directions. Seems I turned left at the wrong "funny looking tree".)

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

..... Continue along the street until you come to the roundabout with Dominos Pizza. After carefully and forensically investigating every square inch of the carpark for any bits of Pizza or anything that might be pizza, not matter how minute, cross the road and go to McDonalds and do the same.
Finally seek out the bins and..... you will be at your destination!!

.... Err, I mean, I'll be at my destination, I have no idea where you were wanting to go!

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

The first time I came to Hebden Bridge was over 30 years ago. I was going to stay with a friend and had vague instructions of how to get to her mother's house which was in an area called 'Birchcliffe'.

I stopped and old man and asked him the way but he'd never heard of that part of town. He'd lived here, in a small West Yorkshire town all his life yet he had never heard of a major part of it. He wasn't stupid, and he was being deliberately nasty to an 'offcumden'; he just didn't know where it was!

We were standing by this bus stop at the time ... Now, advance the Streetview camera through the pedestrian lights, and turn to look at the steep road going back up the hill to the left, observing the name of the road on the sign on the wall!

It took me years to learn there is a place in Dumbarton called 'Dennystown'. I'd always known it as Dalreoch!

 

[ColinJ]

It took me years to learn there is a place in Dumbarton called 'Dennystown'. I'd always known it as Dalreoch!

Yeah, maybe I should have just asked the way "oop t'hill"!

 

[Doseone]

I like my wife to map read, but to give me the directions in a Stephen Hawking voice.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

'Yeah yeah, sorry, I got a bit distracted there.... where was it you wanted to go again??....... Ohh, Cat!! Sorry, I'll be back in a moment....'