How to tackle bullying?

[4F]

I used to suffer a lot from the son of one of the teachers and no one ever believed me. It only stopped when I snapped one day and went off in such a rage I beat him senseless.

Never had a problem again after that from him or anyone else.

 

[vernon]

Tricky one. Teachers and parents are pretty good at giving useless advice, I found. Take up karate so you do know how to punch. Escalate the problem by doing something violent enough to get the attention of responsible adults, although not violent enough to get yourself expelled or a police record. Maybe hit him with something or smash something of his up. Sure you'd get into hot water, but then they'd be forced to investigate the problem. Until it becomes their problem, it's not a problem.

A really responsible and sensible bit of advice.

It's almost on a par with 'hit them back first'.

 

[vernon]

Personally I think they should bring capital punishment back in schools, but of course that's a debate for another day.

The death penalty has never been a sanction at the disposal of UK schools.

There has been the odd occasion when I thought that it ought to be though.

 

[MontyVeda]

Personally I think they should bring capital punishment back in schools, but of course that's a debate for another day.

We did have capitol punishment in our school back then... it didn't help.

[QUOTE 1469410"]
Not at school, but when I was in the JLR in the Army one guy got bullied relentlessly. He was very tall, 6'2" at 16 (it was tall then), he was bean pole thin and had ginger hair. ...
[/quote]

Well if he's ginger it's his own fault

(joke, and not a good one)

 

[steve52]

bullys tend to not give a hsit about there actions and arent worried about tellings off, so i find shouting thats it ive had enough and run at then screaming with the full intention of eating them or bits of them works for me, ps it dose have a downside if caught.

 

[Paulus]

We did have capitol punishment in our school back then... it didn't help.



Do you mean corporal punishment, I don't think even the toughest schools had the death penalty! There are many ways of trying to deal with bullys, but in my experience you either have to entertain them, many comedians were bullied, or you have to learn how to fight and get your revenge in first.

 

[summerdays]

As a child I didn't get bullied very often ... I distinctly remember shopping some kids for putting fairy liquid in my packed lunch making it inedible, and I was a little worried for a while afterwards. I did have one teacher (at primary school) who used to call me names including "wild Irish hussy"! That one had my Mum up the school to complain.

However I'm now at the point when my youngest is on the end of mild bullying, mostly being excluded from games, and made fun of. He isn't enjoying going to school at all, and stands nervously near his "friends" waiting to see if they are going to be nice or not that day. The latest this week was he was excluded from playing with them for being "half-Irish". As yet I haven't spoken to his teacher and with only a couple of days to go I don't know whether to leave it and hope it blows over during the summer holidays or whether I should be alerting next years teacher to the potential problem. He is one of those quiet shy skinny kids, not competitive but one of the faster boys in the year, not really sporty, happiest playing Lego or or a computer. I'm probably going to buy him a fancy scooter over the holidays as that seems to be what he friends have so maybe it would help him blend in a little (desperately clutching at straws).

 

[Silver Fox]

Bullies are indeed cowards and pick on those they perceive as weaker.

When I was at school I only had problems with one lad who fancied himself as the local hard man until one day I'd had enough and knocked him out cold. I received several strokes of the cane for my troubles but after that, never had any problems from him or his little bunch of hanger-on mates.

 

[Slim]

Martial arts usually does the trick. Part of the benefits of martial arts is an increase in confidence. Just knowing what you are capable of (especially with the element of surprise) means you won't totally lose it when it all becomes too much. The other benefit of martial arts is having the ability to dish it out when there's no other option.

A year of two of Judo got me out of a potentially nasty situation when I was at school. I backed away from the bully until there was no where to go. The next time the shove came at me I just put him on the floor and walked away. He stayed on the floor until I was out of sight.

 

[coffeejo]

I spent four years at boarding school. Sharing a dorm room with one of the bullies was not fun, to put it mildly. Dealing with the bullies at the state school I went to after that was, quite frankly, a piece of piss.

I think the solution depends entirely on the bully and victim(s), their relationships with other people and what makes them tick. In other words, there is no one solution, which probably explains why every school has a problem.

 

[MontyVeda]

Do you mean corporal punishment, I don't think even the toughest schools had the death penalty!

er.... yes

Coffee Jo said "I think the solution depends entirely on the bully and victim(s), their relationships with other people and what makes them tick. In other words, there is no one solution, which probably explains why every school has a problem. "

Very true. Looking back I wish I'd just changed schools. My niece was getting bullied in primary school due to her sticky out ears, they changed her school and she was a lot happier.

 

[Rhythm Thief]

However I'm now at the point when my youngest is on the end of mild bullying, mostly being excluded from games, and made fun of. He isn't enjoying going to school at all, and stands nervously near his "friends" waiting to see if they are going to be nice or not that day. The latest this week was he was excluded from playing with them for being "half-Irish". As yet I haven't spoken to his teacher and with only a couple of days to go I don't know whether to leave it and hope it blows over during the summer holidays or whether I should be alerting next years teacher to the potential problem. He is one of those quiet shy skinny kids, not competitive but one of the faster boys in the year, not really sporty, happiest playing Lego or or a computer. I'm probably going to buy him a fancy scooter over the holidays as that seems to be what he friends have so maybe it would help him blend in a little (desperately clutching at straws).

This is a sad post. I hope the scooter helps him fit in.

 

[marinyork]

Very true. Looking back I wish I'd just changed schools. My niece was getting bullied in primary school due to her sticky out ears, they changed her school and she was a lot happier.

It sometimes works. I've known people who have changed schools and it has got much, much worse.

 

[MontyVeda]

It sometimes works. I've known people who have changed schools and it has got much, much worse.

There was a guy who started at my school around the third year... it was common knowledge that he was shifted because he was being bullied... although to my knowledge he wasn't a victim afterwards. I guess it's a lottery.


Summerdays... I can empathise with your kid as my nemesis sometimes acted as a friend too, but it was all part of his manipulative nature. Maybe if you're familiar with the others kids parent at the school gates you could make contact. not in an "Oi!" way, just introduce yourself an mention that your kids sometimes play together. nice to meet you and bye With a friendly dialogue struck up, 'his' mum may mention she was talking to you (so and so's mum) to him, and with that in mind, the other kid may become more accommodating. If it escalates, you've already made contact with the other kids parent and would potentially be in a better position to ask them to have a word.

Pre-emptive diplomacy?

 

[XmisterIS]

The best way to deal with a bully is to creep up behind him, chloroform him, tie him up, blindfold him, bundle him into the boot of your car. Now, you have him, you can relax. Drive him to a secluded hide-away, take him out and tie him to a chair. In the meantime, do yourself up like that insane chap from Silence of the Lambs - the transsexual guy who keeps women in a pit - then whip off the blindfold and tell the bully firstly, that you are going to eat his liver with some fava beans and a nice drop of chianti and secondly, that you are quite exquisitely insane ...