Stu
Give it up pal: take up snorting crack, get a World of War Craft account, take up heavy drinking or loose women or both if you can. You will save sheds loads of money. Save yourself while you can because once you work out you can ride 10 miles (and you can), you'll be well on your way to becoming an addict. Gear ratios will be your hot topic, surfing the web for bike porn will be your secret obsession and her in doors will have a go because your legs will not walk past bike shops.
We all suffer. I started back in 09, 5 flat miles took nearly an hour, now........its every opportunity, 4 bikes in the garage, 5000 miles a year commuting, joined
Audax UK and ride long distance stuff most weekend just to feed my craving.
Get away while you can.