I don't think my bike likes its Chrimbo pressie.

[RedRider]

Here's some nonsense...
I love my bike. It may not be the best looker in town but we've been together a while, shown each other good times and We're pretty much inseparable.
It knew it was getting some brake levers and cables for Christmas but let's face it, stuff used for stopping isn't the sexiest in the world so I thought I'd surprise it with some shiny cable guides too. I know. Quite the romantic aren't I?
Thing is, even tho' it's wearing them I don't think they suit. I think I might have got the wrong size and there's these sharp bits which might get in the way during intimate moments. I've tried tucking the sharp bits out of harms way under under the tube but it means the cable's now in an unnatural position. I'm thinking my bike might have been better off with standard black cable ties around the top tube.
Apart from lie down in a darkened room - I'm already doing that - what do I do next?

My bike:


The trinket:


A sharp bit:

 

[Archie_tect]

Paint them the same colour as the frame... or use colourless see through cable ties

 

[Jon George]

what do I do next?

How about moving the ones near the stem and seat post nearer to each, split the housing and put in some end pieces on the cut ends so that there is bare - non-sharp - cable running the length of the top tube?

 

[Archie_tect]

...or controversially, drill two slots at both ends [to the underside] of the top tube and feed the cable through..... and use the cable guides for something else.

 

[biggs682]

normally the nut and bolts are on the underside of top tube out of the way ?????

 

[RedRider]

How about moving the ones near the stem and seat post nearer to each, split the housing and put in some end pieces on the cut ends so that there is bare - non-sharp - cable running the length of the top tube?

This is a possibility.

...or controversially, drill two slots at both ends [to the underside] of the top tube and feed the cable through..... and use the cable guides for something else.

Ouch! This might be a step too far.

normally the nut and bolts are on the underside of top tube out of the way ?????

Aye, I've never really looked closely at cable guides before but I was surprised the bolts on these ones are at 180 degrees to the guide itself which seems pretty duff design.

 

[PpPete]

Aye, I've never really looked closely at cable guides before but I was surprised the bolts on these ones are at 180 degrees to the guide itself which seems pretty duff design.

I'm sure I've seen 90 degree ones somewhere on fleabay.

 

[RedRider]

I'm sure I've seen 90 degree ones somewhere on fleabay.

You're right, thanks. My bike appreciates it.

 

[Rohloff_Brompton_Rider]

They look exactly as they should and look great, nicely spaced out, however after reading your post again and looking at the photos - try running your cable on the other side of the headset and seatpost, this might give a more natural cable bend to the rear brake.

 

[Dave 123]

What was wrong with flowers, chocolates and slutty underwear?

 

[shouldbeinbed]

'it' seems a tad impersonal for such an object of your affection & recipient of nice presents. My car is an it because it is just a tool for getting about, my bikes are all gendered (mixed depending on their purpose) because they have much more emotional resonance with me. I've not got as far as naming them but they do get talked to in different ways depending on their personality and orientation.

Could you file the sharp edges down or cut the bolt flush and threadlock it?

if it came to it & the look wasn't too bad, maybe a small cap nut to cover the offending protrusion from catching you out during a tender caress.

 

[snorri]

I'm thinking my bike might have been better off with standard black cable ties around the top tube.
Apart from lie down in a darkened room - I'm already doing that - what do I do next?]

They are glittery, and sharp whichever way round you fit them, dump them, they were a big mistake made with the best of intentions.
Get along to to your nearest stockist of electrical tape and buy a roll of the nearest matching colour. Then you will have a smooth fitting, visually pleasing, long lasting, colour cordinated, low cost and effective solution.