I ran over a duck

[gambatte]

OK, I'm leaving it at this one. Still got snap to do for tomorrow.

a man orders chop suey in a restaurant. The waiter brings out a pot with a lid but the man's afraid to eat it because every so often the lid lifts up a wee bit and a wee pair of eyes peer out at him. He calls the waiter over, points it out, and asks "Are you sure that's chop suey?". The waiter goes, "Oh sorry sir, my mistake - I've brought you Peking duck.

 

[tdr1nka]

Ty

 

[tdr1nka]

I do Mr.P. but it gets me down.

*struggles with political correctness toward vegetarians by wanting to ask if Mr. P. had killed the duck, would it have been bad taste to take it home, scrumping oranges on route?????*

 

[HJ]

I was just going to suggest a recipe with a lemon sauce, then I read it survived, better luck next time...

 

[rustychisel]

Waddle we do to stop this nonsense?

 

[simonali]

Won't anyone think of the duck?

I am. How did you know that the duck you saw on the way home was the same one you ran over? I don't want to sound duckist, but don't they all look the same?!

 

[Maz]

What do you call a Mallard that's just been run over by a bike?
Mall.




dont make me explain it...

 

[Cab]

I killed a moorhen once. I slowed down, he obviously wanted to cross in front of my bike, he turned away, I cycled on slowly, he turned and suddenly made as if to dart in front of me. I didn't stop quite fast enough, he put his neck into my spokes and my front forks took his head off. Poor thing.

 

[Arch]

Driving home from work out in the country one day, years ago, on a dark evening in February, my Mum came round a corner to find a string of ducklings crossing the road after their Mum. Unable to stop, she swerved the best she could, but knew she'd run over the last one and was moderately upset about it.

Not as upset as a few days later when my little sister had her birthday party, and by some freak of fashion nearly all the cards her little friends gave her had cute ducklings on them! Mum felt it was some sort of mental retribution...

 

[simonali]

I once had a blue tit fly out of a hedge and attempt to fly through my front wheel. There was a ting ting noise and his flight was halted very suddenly! I did stop and find him after, but he was brown bread.

 

[02GF74]

I had a rabbit run into my front wheel - bounce off but I didn't stop as it seemed to be ok, not so as it was lying there on my way back.

 

[goo_mason]

Very nearly had a yippy little dog in my spokes on the way home tonight - it suddenly ran in at me from the side as I was passing it, snarling and snapping. It almost misjudged where my ankles were and was inches away from getting its head mangled between spokes & forks.

All the owner (about 5m behind the dog) did was give me her old woman's scowl as though it had been my fault her vicious little git of a dog had decided to try and take a chunk out of me.

 

[HJ]

Very nearly had a yippy little dog in my spokes on the way home tonight - it suddenly ran in at me from the side as I was passing it, snarling and snapping.

Have you read "Eats, shoots and leaves" by Lynne Truss? I couldn't get the image of you snarling and snapping at the wee dog out of my head

 

[Jaded]

I ran over a worm once.

It didn't move fast enough.

 

[goo_mason]

Have you read "Eats, shoots and leaves" by Lynne Truss? I couldn't get the image of you snarling and snapping at the wee dog out of my head

I have indeed. It's sitting on my bookshelf right here. If only I checked what I rattled off before I posted anything, I'd be fine