Ideas for message on the back of a bag/jersey

[Glow worm]

How's my riding?
Call 0800- Kiss- My- Ar$e

 

[Arjimlad]

If you can read this my backpack's fallen off ?

 

[si_c]

How about something that implies effort on their part.

For example,
Don't hit me it makes a mess and you'll have to clean your car. It'll take fscking ages.

 

[mjr]

Just put that Momo hoax face thing on it. Based on the shoot going around local media at the minute, it'll scare some drivers straight!

 

[NorthernDave]

Please don't kill me?

 

[Deleted member 26715]

<--- 1.5 metres --->

Pedant mode on shouldn't that be
|--- 1.5 metres --->

 

[LeetleGreyCells]

Pedant mode on shouldn't that be
|--- 1.5 metres --->

Or:
—— 1.5 metres ——>

(Can’t get the emoji to face away from the screen, damn...)

 

[Andy in Germany]

Danger: Explodes on impact
(and will scratch your car)

On second thoughts, you'd be arrested as a terrorist within three minutes so better not...

 

[Andy in Germany]

Some trucks for local road crews had very big pictures of the workers kids on the back with
"Please let our daddy come home safely tonight.
Thank you, signed...."

But they were rather larger than a backpack and I think the above message would work better.

 

[Deleted member 26715]

BCAK
OFF

LEAVE
ROOM

GIVE
ME
SPACE

YOU'RE
ONLY
JEALOUS

STUCK
IN
TRAFFIC
NOT
ME

ACT
YOUR
AGE

 

[Andy in Germany]

BCAK
OFF

LEAVE
ROOM

GIVE
ME
SPACE

YOU'RE
ONLY
JEALOUS

STUCK
IN
TRAFFIC
NOT
ME

ACT
YOUR
AGE

An LED display scrolling through these, or controllable with an app?

 

[raleighnut]

At least I'm not driving my Tractor.

 

[Deleted member 26715]

NOT
KILLING
THE
EARTH

CO2
FREE
ZONE

HELPING
THE
PLANET

I PAY
AS MUCH
ROAD TAX
AS YOU

 

[Arjimlad]

Needs her Daddy, Keep me safe

 

[Vantage]

If you get any closer you'll need Vaseline.