If I've ever inspired you, then its

[BrianEvesham]

I was where you are now 12 years ago, I know how you feel, I do. I would never ever ever have believed I would remarry ( a younger wife) and have two fabulous boys one day. I am not in a position to assist financially, sorry. But I am here to say that things can/will get better.

I wish you all the good luck in the world.

Brian

 

[mr_hippo]

Gaz, I applaud you for having the courage to do what I should have done but did not. My first marriage lasted 31 years and because I am old school believed, in 'for better. for worse'. I was abused for over 20 years, physically and emotionally and my feet were sore from walking on eggshells! I will not go into details but she had male family members around, emptied the house, just leaving me bare essentials and 34p in the bank.
It pi$$es me off that if a woman claims abuse, there's a place in a refuge and she gets moved to the top of the housing list; what about us men? We get nothing!
It does get better, believe me. Here am I 12 years later enjoying life and where is she? She drank herself to death almost 8 years ago.
Sorry I cannot offer you material things, only a friendly ear and a shoulder. Please do not call mutual friends because they have already heard her side of the story and will tend to side with her. If they are true friends then they will contact you
Best of luck

 

[Oldspice]

Is this going to turn into a 'All women are bad thread' ?

 

[Nihal]

Is this going to turn into a 'All women are bad thread' ?

He sure as well never meant it that way......neither did anyone else who posted here...........

 

[BrianEvesham]

He sure as well never meant it that way......neither did anyone else who posted here...........

Myself included.

 

[Peter Armstrong]

All I was trying to do was help, and pointing out the page looked like a rather poor attempt at a scam - if I offended anyone I apologise, but my intent was only to help

*shrugs*

Lol, I understand you helping......if that helps?

 

[mr_hippo]

Is this going to turn into a 'All women are bad thread' ?

I hope not but there are probably as many abused husbands as there are abused wives. Men have nowhere to turn and if they say anything are then open to ridicule.

 

[Maz]

Gaz,
I don't personally know you, but I work as a volunteer for people who have fallen on hard times and are now (for whatever reason) homeless. I'm no expert, but I think the priority is to get a roof over your head, for your sake and your child's. Please contact your local council, Citizen's Advice Bureau, Red Cross, Shelter, about emergency housing if you are in need of it, plus, they can tell you which benefits you're entitled to, and what steps to take next. In my (albeit limited) experience, these agencies talk to each other and can help you. Things might seem desparate at the moment, but hang in there because there are organisations out there to help.
I wish you all the best.

 

[Nihal]

[QUOTE 2099610, member: 9609"]go back, apologize, get yourself back into the house, and when your feet are back under your own table start building your case then.[/quote]

This is like teacher apologises to student because student was talking unnecessarily

 

[colly]

[QUOTE 2099610, member: 9609"]go back, apologize, get yourself back into the house, and when your feet are back under your own table start building your case then.[/quote]

I can see the practical side of why you say that but realistically you wouldn't say that to a woman who had summoned up the courage to leave.

Edit: Well I don't think I would anyway.

 

[Milo]

A long protracted court case will be awful for the kids. I have less than fond memory's of court welfare and social workers in the access fights my parents had over me. All pointless as I have nothing much to do with either them now but that's another tale.

 

[colly]

Another thought:

Most of us haven't the faintest clue what it is like living day in day out with an abusive partner, man or woman.
I can sympathise with Gaz but as for really understanding how it feels to be on edge and under some kind of threat 24 hours a day I simply can not imagine.

For those of us who are fortunate to have partners who we love and are loved by, even if at times things get a bit bumpy, have a lot to be be thankful for.

 

[subaqua]

Is this going to turn into a 'All women are bad thread' ?

They aren't. Just as all men are not.

I walked out of an abusive relationship 13 July 1998. I was left with 14p in the bank. I didn't have kids at that point and really thought that i would be single for the rest of my life. thankfully my now wife was there for me and helped me pick up the pieces.

Gaz, it will be a long struggle but it will work out.

 

[growingvegetables]

[QUOTE 2099610, member: 9609"]go back, apologize, get yourself back into the house, and when your feet are back under your own table start building your case then.[/quote]
No.

[edited] Sorry, User9609 - that was harsh. Been there. It MAY be that going back and apologising is right, it also MAY also be that being forced/blackmailed into a false apology is part of the problem.

 

[colly]

Reiver, I know you meant '' get back in and get the evidence'' and that you weren't being callous.
Also I think it's a fair bet to assume that controlling and violent men are more common than a similar woman but I know personally of a young man who was stabbed (and died) by his girlfriend, just because he wanted to end the relationship. When the details came out it seems the main reason for him wanting to end it was that she was violent.
Women may in general be weaker than men but something like a knife makes no distinction.