I'm American. Ask me anything.

[Bazzer]

Why do Americans call property attached to their property, a yard; whether it be at the front, back or side, paved or grassed.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Why are Americans either health freaks or weigh the same as a white dwarf star, no middle ground?

 

[Rocky]

Can you tell me how to get a yellow complexion and a very dodgy haircut?

 

[Rocky]

If you were shorter than someone, would it be possible to talk down to them?

 

[Archie_tect]

And thirdly, why repeat a question that's ready been asked?!

and fourthly, which blithering idiot asked that before?

 

[Archie_tect]

If you were shorter than someone, would it be possible to talk down to them?

Only if you stand on a very tall podium and they work for CNN.

 

[deptfordmarmoset]

As a public service, and to make amends for taking some OT bait –


I’m volunteering for enhanced interrogation.

Note that I’m also a naturalised British citizen, thanks to an oversight by the Home Office. I have lived in the UK since the time John Major was enjoying the forbidden fruit of Edwina Currie. [Factcheck: said bendy flex was actually in the 80s, before I arrived. But surely she accepted his invitation to the Gladstone bedroom for a quickie when he was in No. 10, power being an aphrodisiac and all.]

Am happy to field political / religious questions, though please tread carefully lest this thread take the express elevator to N&CA, where I don’t get off.

No guarantee that replies will be satisfactory, but they will be neatly typed.

View attachment 515317

Anything?

 

[Drago]

Why has Mayor Cuomo not been arrested for his treasonous remarks?!

 

[Yellow Fang]

Have you ever been abducted by a UFO?

 

[Drago]

Do you listen to evangelical radio stations?

 

[Ming the Merciless]

When will America be great again?

 

[classic33]

Why is Homey Airport, operated by Edwards Airforce Base?

 

[randynewmanscat]

As a public service, and to make amends for taking some OT bait –


I’m volunteering for enhanced interrogation.

Note that I’m also a naturalised British citizen, thanks to an oversight by the Home Office. I have lived in the UK since the time John Major was enjoying the forbidden fruit of Edwina Currie. [Factcheck: said bendy flex was actually in the 80s, before I arrived. But surely she accepted his invitation to the Gladstone bedroom for a quickie when he was in No. 10, power being an aphrodisiac and all.]

Am happy to field political / religious questions, though please tread carefully lest this thread take the express elevator to N&CA, where I don’t get off.

No guarantee that replies will be satisfactory, but they will be neatly typed.

View attachment 515317

When do you think the next civil war will start?

 

[anothersam]

Anything?

It’s a good thing I don’t have a three question limit like a genie granting wishes, or you’d only have two left.

Steady on.

A particular favourite

View: https://youtu.be/eJBJQ6jmm6o

Why do American bicycles have the brakes set up the wrong way around?

It’s the right way around over there.

Have you ever been abducted by a UFO?

Already answered!

How many of your states have you visited?

Not as many as my parents, who have been to every single one except Alaska,

View: https://youtu.be/ppShcRlJeZI

so awkwardly noncontiguous but without the point breaks to make it worth the trip.

View: https://youtu.be/KR8RHBXjMlE

Having both driven and hitchhiked (and almost been abducted, again) coast-to-coast, I can lay claim to… about three dozen.

Will accept rides from flying saucers

What does ACME stand for, the place where Wiley Coyote gets all his equipment from?

This has already been addressed factually by a helpful member of the thread.
My siblings and I dived headlong into Looney Tunes landscapes as children.

View: https://youtu.be/OwYQsZuh2CM

It’s amazing one of us wasn’t later induced to become a courier.

 

[anothersam]

Why do Americans call property attached to their property, a yard; whether it be at the front, back or side, paved or grassed.

I will answer this using the maieutic method. (It’s a new word for me, too.) Why do UKians call property attached to their property a garden, no matter how ungardeny it may be?

An example of pretty gardeny

Do people from different states all call themselves after their states. For instance, if people from Texas are Texans and people from California are Californians, what are people from Wyoming called?

An actual Wyominginian has answered this (“the Chosen Ones”), and it's true, that particular W state looks great. The stat on population density alone is enough to make it a seriously tempting choice for my afterlife.

View: https://youtu.be/OhgcT0gAd-U

I expect there are rivalries across those ruler straight state lines, as there are between Ohio and Michigan.

View: https://youtu.be/0AYmwq1n9s0

View: https://youtu.be/-LWm6mivW4w

To understand that last one you must appreciate that particularly proud Ohioans embrace the name 'Buckeyes' – essentially, conkers –

and that the animosity between fans of regional sporting teams is just as great as it is between those of, say, Man City and Man United.

Do you listen to evangelical radio stations?

Defining the term broadly as good news, yes, when I’m listening to the BBC extol the virtues of the BBC.

If you were shorter than someone, would it be possible to talk down to them?

This has not been a problem.

When do you think the next civil war will start?

That would be an ecumenical matter. As it is, there are already countless civil and uncivil wars raging from sea to shining sea. To pick one not entirely at random, short people -vs- normal sized people.

View: https://youtu.be/5aSD0GkU4jk

My mother, incidentally exactly the height of Napoleon Bonaparte, hated that song and stared fiercely out the window whenever it came on the car radio when I was growing up.

For the record, I'm 5'9", making me an ideal liaison between factions.

Bloodhound missile. I saw them as a kid late 60s, early 70s, all lined up on a military base.

That would’ve come in handy for sabre-rattling with neighbours-from-hell when I lived in Tunbridge Wells.

View: https://youtu.be/L7YVdiw1jSw

When will America be great again?

I suppose all they have to do is add it to the name of the country.