I'm back, and I almost belong!

[400bhp]

Silly me, thinking this was one of the respectful corners of the internet. I assumed, wrongly as it turned out, that people who remembered the story would understand and that those who didn't would either accept it as reasonable and significant, or go and look at my earlier posts to find out for themselves. My mistake. I guess I'll have to repeat it, just for you.

The highlights: We've been together for almost ten years. During that time she's been diagnosed bipolar with OCD traits, has had to deal with the loss of three close family members, including the sudden and unexpected death of her stepfather (who'd actually raised her - effectively her dad) about a month into our relationship, and had to watch her mother's decline into dementia at only 50. These and other traumatic experiences, including the cycling accident that left her brother in a coma a year before we met, had left her disaster focussed and afraid of another loss - one more, especially me, could have easily been the final straw leading to a full breakdown or worse. Together we've worked through all of this, to a point where she feels able to give me something she expects and intends for me to use while cycling to work. It's significant.

What kind of "man" would say "up yours, I'm going to do what I like anyway and I don't care how you feel"? I certainly know what I'd think of him.

It was 2 acronyms used on an internet forum. Don't take it personally.

Apologies if you took offence.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

UTT

MTFU

University of Trinidad and Tobago?

Metal Trades Federation of Unions??

You're off your trolley pal!

 

[LabRatt]

It was 2 acronyms used on an internet forum. Don't take it personally.

Apologies if you took offence.

Fair enough, but the comment was directed at me and I know what they mean - hard not to take it personally.
Apology accepted though.

 

[blazed]

Silly me, thinking this was one of the respectful corners of the internet. I assumed, wrongly as it turned out, that people who remembered the story would understand and that those who didn't would either accept it as reasonable and significant, or go and look at my earlier posts to find out for themselves. My mistake. I guess I'll have to repeat it, just for you.

The highlights: We've been together for almost ten years. During that time she's been diagnosed bipolar with OCD traits, has had to deal with the loss of three close family members, including the sudden and unexpected death of her stepfather (who'd actually raised her - effectively her dad) about a month into our relationship, and had to watch her mother's decline into dementia at only 50. These and other traumatic experiences, including the cycling accident that left her brother in a coma a year before we met, had left her disaster focussed and afraid of another loss - one more, especially me, could have easily been the final straw leading to a full breakdown or worse. Together we've worked through all of this, to a point where she feels able to give me something she expects and intends for me to use while cycling to work. It's significant.

What kind of "man" would say "up yours, I'm going to do what I like anyway and I don't care how you feel"? I certainly know what I'd think of him.

I was only playing brah.

 

[CopperCyclist]

Glad you're getting back into it. The n+1 bug is incurable though I'm afraid!

 

[col]

Fair enough, but the comment was directed at me and I know what they mean - hard not to take it personally.
Apology accepted though.

I dont know what they mean?

 

[Banjo]

[This seems to be the way I go with forums - I can't read everything so I eventually stop bothering to turn up at all. Must get over that...]

OK, so some of you might remember my situation (girlfriend who's convinced that I'll die if I cycle on the road) but I thought I'd share this: that's changed.

Anyone who watches the rubbish I stick up youtube will have noticed a few new cycling clips. There's a short story behind that: Lauren (the other half) came to the realisation that by insisting I not cycle she was denying me something I really wanted to do, and that regular cycling would help with that healthy lifestyle/more exercise thing she kept bugging me with. She didn't tell me that, she bought me stuff instead.

For christmas she bought me a handlebar mirror (useless as it's for flat bars and my bike has drops, but the thought was there) and a set of Ortlieb panniers, saying that they were well reviewed and I could ride through the rain and find my work clothes still dry at the end of my journey. That's what she bought me. What she gave me, by implication, was much more important:

Permission to ride

I'm still taking it at her speed, making sure she's comfortable, but now I'm riding. Just a little bit. There's no way I can handle the commute to work yet (I'm on one side of Crystal Palace, work's on the other), but I'll get there. For now I'm doing the shopping and riding to and from the station (when I go to town) and trying to build up my fitness to outside the embarrassment threshold. I will ride to work one day though, and one day soon.

My most recent proud achievement - riding home from the station on Monday night (just over a mile and a half) in about six minutes without stopping for a breather!

Sounds like things are looking up both on the bike and in your relationship.Good Luck with both.

 

[joolsybools]

You might want to consider having a cycling lesson at some point if you want to tackle your commute. Check your boroughs website or go to TfL cycling section. You might be able to get a journey accompaniment. Well done and keep up the cycling

 

[Hip Priest]

Chapeau my friend. Glad to hear the situation is improving. Your missus has clearly been through a lot.

 

[Old Plodder]

Herne Hill, for those that don't know, is a Velodrome; i.e. cycle racing circuit.
On the other hand, Crystal Palace & Anerley are the big lump South of the Thames that you can sometimes see from London.
How about getting some miles in around the circuit in C.P.Park?