In my professional opinion...

[Piemaster]

All mushrooms are edible, but some only once.

I prefer not eating any foodstuff more than once, thanks.

 

[Bay Runner]

Never scratch your a** with a broken bottle

 

[Globalti]

Bicarb would do, being alkali, the key is that bee sting is acid.

I suppose B for B, V for W still works.

Winegar for wasps, bicarbonate for bees.

(Last time Gti Junior got stung by a wasp I took him straight home and more in hope than anything, employed a trick I'd seen in South Africa: took an old syringe, placed the nozzle right over the tiny puncture and the little white blister and pulled the plunger out.... within seconds the pain had gone and within a minute the white blister and surrounding redness had vanished. Cue one happy child.)

 

[Globalti]

in the spring you can get a refreshing drink from a birch tree. (tapping for sap)

i have many more.

That one is true... our neighbour cut down a birch that was threatening our house and a week or two later I went with my chainsaw to lop the trunk down shorter. To my amazement, as I cut, water gushed out of the tree like a tap.

 

[Melonfish]

That one is true... our neighbour cut down a birch that was threatening our house and a week or two later I went with my chainsaw to lop the trunk down shorter. To my amazement, as I cut, water gushed out of the tree like a tap.

many maple's have the same properties, come spring they shoot water as far up the tree as poss to get the growth going.
you can even make wine out of it.

 

[tyred]

It hurts to close your fingers in a car door.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Flying an aircraft is easy, pull the stick back the houses get smaller, push it forwards the houses get bigger.

That is until you pull back too much and the houses get smaller, and then suddenly bigger, VERY much bigger!!

 

[green1]

It's not falling off a ladder that hurts, it's the sudden stop at the bottom.

As the song says:

Falling feels like flying
Until you hit the ground

 

[Ciar]

Don't sneeze when head is close to desk..

 

[Poacher]

Keep well clear of people who wear hats whilst driving.

Useful mnemonic:

Men who drive in hats
are invariably prats.

 

[Profpointy]

Never try and eat anything bigger than your head

 

[Deleted member 1258]

It's not falling off a ladder that hurts, it's the sudden stop at the bottom.

I can confirm this fact, having fallen off a ladder many years ago and broken my heel.

 

[Archie_tect]

Flying an aircraft is easy, pull the stick back the houses get smaller, push it forwards the houses get bigger.

My jammy dodgers.....

 

[Tim Hall]

Especially if you use the Itallian for wasp, which then serves additionally to remind you why it is that scooters are so annoying.

Lambretta is Italian for wasp? Who'd have thought it?

 

[Archie_tect]

Isn't that soggy toast with tomatoes on top?