In the maternity wing.

[screenman]

OBITUARIES.

Screenman, 1876 - 2017. Lover, explorer, philanthropist, crocodile wrestler, stalker of Thora Hird. Heir to the slave trade fortune of Sir Cedric Nastybarsteward, but spent the entire inheritance on windscreens for his collection. Will be sadly missed by his friend, and the p*** takers on cycle chat.

"Smell that? That's a kebab fart."

I had yours written up this morning but you spoiled it for me by reappearing.

 

[Drago]

I know its traditional to wait three days before rising from the dead...

 

[KnackeredBike]

I know its traditional to wait three days before rising from the dead...

Can it be a tradition if it's only happened once/never*?

* Delete as appropriate.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Can it be a tradition if it's only happened once/never*?

* Delete as appropriate.

Lazarus makes it two/once/never

 

[classic33]

Can it be a tradition if it's only happened once/never*?

* Delete as appropriate.

Lazarus makes it two/once/never

Only once! In reverse order
Late For My Own Funeral

I "popped mi clogs" on the operating table in November '95. Carried out of Midnight Mass, by the local undertaker and his employees another time, before being placed in the rear of his works vehicle, for the trip to hospital.

I think I've cheated him. For now.

Time of Death