Kit nicknames? (not including names for you bikes or what you call stuff when it doesn't work)

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FrothNinja

Veteran
Bit of Sunday fun - do you have nicknames for you kit?
I'm not counting actual cycles or what you call stuff when it doesn't work or breaks.
I call my heart monitor my bra, gloves are snotwipes, helmets are rather predictably lids, water bottles sometimes called bidets if I am in a puerile mood - so quite often.
Bibtrews are called nappies by me & my wrestling costume by Madam FN. She also has a series of names for me, none of which are on my passport.
 

PaulSB

Legendary Member
Well to answer the second half first......crap. :laugh:

As for the rest whatever it's name is helmet, gloves etc.
 
Location
London
Bit of Sunday fun - do you have nicknames for you kit?
I'm not counting actual cycles or what you call stuff when it doesn't work or breaks.
I call my heart monitor my bra, gloves are snotwipes, helmets are rather predictably lids, water bottles sometimes called bidets if I am in a puerile mood - so quite often.
Bibtrews are called nappies by me & my wrestling costume by Madam FN. She also has a series of names for me, none of which are on my passport.
is this what comes of too many gels?
 
OP
OP
FrothNinja

FrothNinja

Veteran
is this what comes of too many gels?
Think I might call gels 'white elephants' - bought two six packs a couple of months ago and haven't used a single one in spite of having them with me on the bike. Tempted to have one as a sauce on icecream to see what they taste like.
 
Location
London
Think I might call gels 'white elephants' - bought two six packs a couple of months ago and haven't used a single one in spite of having them with me on the bike. Tempted to have one as a sauce on icecream to see what they taste like.
they are hellish - i have some for dire emergencies - their only use - I have had the damn packets puncture a few times though - hardly worth the bother. I know someone who decided to take the technical solution to fuelling his Dynamo - gels only - his guts suffered to put it mildly.
 
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Location
London
I generally say "hat" instead of "helmet" and I call my rackpack a saddlebag, which is technically incorrect. But beyond that, no.

@Blue Hills you seem to be a bit obsessed with gels, and their horror/hellishness.
well hardly - I only remember mentioning them twice. I think like many cyclists I bought a few - I have a stash well past the sell-by date in a kitchen cupboard - on long trips/touring I do carry a couple and have been known to use in extremis if they haven't punctured in the meantime. Basically, yes, I think they are rather loathsome, expensive for what they are, of use only to hard minimalist racers, far better alternatives such as cheap stuff that gives you a sugar boost, or a small tub of maltodextrin powder if you have panniers.
 
Location
London
Just that you've mentioned them on two threads lately.

I tend to feel the same as you, but less vehemently, being fonder of sausage rolls and my latest invention ... drum roll...: Blue cheese Soreen sandwiches.
I get gels free occasionally but since I had one burst in my saddlebag I've stopped keeping one for emergencies.
two mentions of something gets someone labelled as having an obsession mr trousers?

If that's the case the whole lot of us on here are surely certifiable?

I like the idea of the blue cheese soreen - what sort of blue cheese?

Interesting that you also say you have had bursts - has happened to me 2 or 3 times so I won't be buying any more. Especially at a pound or more a pop. They must be damn delicate - I typically have them inside tough drybag on top of the rack when touring or on a long ride - luckily always inside a ziplock bag as well.

@Fab Foodie recommends orange dextrose tabs I think - available from your common or garden sainsburys.

I can also recommend in extremis Lidl wine gums - I basically wandered down their confectionary aisle and logged what seemed to give the most sugarbang per buck
 
Location
London
Not cycling related, but we have a baby harness that clips together and goes over my shoulders with the baby sitting in it so I can wear it on my front, and I obliviously refer to it even in polite company as 'the strap-on'.
how many folk do you think get the reference?
just wondering.
 
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