Lift etiquette

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cosmicbike

Perhaps This One.....
Moderator
Location
Egham
We are forced to use the lift at work. You may not use the stairs when carrying tea/coffee ('elf and safety you know...) and must use the lift, for 1 or 2 floors max. And given tea/coffee is on the ground floor, nobody uses their cycling muscles.....
 

stowie

Legendary Member
We are forced to use the lift at work. You may not use the stairs when carrying tea/coffee ('elf and safety you know...) and must use the lift, for 1 or 2 floors max. And given tea/coffee is on the ground floor, nobody uses their cycling muscles.....

Many years ago I caused a large company to do the opposite - they decreed that people shouldn't bring coffee and tea into the lift but to use the stairs. It happened when I was a newish engineer at the company and based in a block of offices. I was going down to the labs in the basement (engineers don't need light), and stepped into the lift to be faced with a bunch of smartly suited execs on their way up to the top floor where they did their exec stuff. I realised the lift was going up instead of down and backed out but the closing door caught my arm and knocked the tea, forming an arc of hot liquid to sprayed at groin height in the lift. I believe several execs had to attend their meetings with suspicious wet stains on their trousers. I might have been a marked man for this if it wasn't for the fact that the execs in the company never visited, or knew, anyone outside the top floor and therefore I could remain anonymous and undetected for the rest of the 6 or so years I worked there. However, there was a memo sent to the engineering teams that liquids shouldn't be carried in lifts for health and safety reasons.

As to the OP, the rules are really quite mad. Well done! What happens when people from other companies end up queuing for the lift together? Is there a pecking order of companies, is it done on a first come first served basis, or is there some kind of fight to determine who gains control of the lift? If no-one speaks to each other in the lift, how do you know they are from other companies? Are all the companies small and everyone knows everyone, or maybe company employees could all wear distinguishing bandannas ?
 

swee'pea99

Squire
What do you actually do when the door opens to reveal someone from another company? Do you actually stand back, watch the doors close, and wait for the next lift?
 

Paulus

Started young, and still going.
Location
Barnet,
As you get into. lift, shout out mind the doors, press the button and smile at the the people left behind:laugh:
 

stowie

Legendary Member
What do you actually do when the door opens to reveal someone from another company? Do you actually stand back, watch the doors close, and wait for the next lift?

Maybe its like highlander where there can only be one company in the lift and a fight to the death ensues?
 

booze and cake

probably out cycling
The OP's gripes are minor compared to the worst lift etiquette crime, pissing in a lift, or worse still releasing an otter.:laugh:

Pressing the button or making chit chat are nothing in comparison. Have a word with yourself. I can only summize that if thats the worst thats happened in your block, you must live in a pretty swanky block.
 

ComedyPilot

Secret Lemonade Drinker
What about stairs etiquette?

Say hello to EVERYONE.

Never follow a lady upstairs (skirted or trousered)

2 steps up, singular down

Holding the rail is for mummy's boys or ladies. Men do not need support. If you need support on the stairs get the lift.

Keep left like on the road, overtake on the right.

If women are in front going up, then overtake at once or let them get a flight in front so you don't end up staring - or worse still accused of staring - at their wobbly bums.

Any problems with this fail safe method then use the lift (but don't look at their bums)
 

stowie

Legendary Member
If CoG is typical of the people who work in that building, you may be nearer the truth than you realise.:biggrin:

I want to know what happens when the reverse happens - when someone from another company not au-fait with the finer points oflift etiquette gets in a lift which CoG is occupying? If CoG remains silent, rule 3 is maintained but the miscreant doesn't learn the error of his/her ways but if CoG educates them then he is breaking one of the golden lift rules himself.Maybe the best strategy would be to say nothing but shove the person trying to board the lift hard to push them back out of the lift?
 
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