Living on your own.

[HMS_Dave]

I don't know what id do without my wife. Ive been alone years ago, but i was young and just lived a young mans life. Not really experienced loneliness in middle age. She means everything to me.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

I was on my own for quite a few years until I met someone

Huh - that was a mistake

anyway - then I was alone again for several years - probably about 6-7

then SWMBO turned up

Anyway - being on my own was not really a problem for me - I like being able to do anything I want - cook whatever I want - clean only when I want - everything is always in it's place (it's place being defined as where I last left it!!!!)

OK - I kinda get lonely - but not in a bad way - I found that if I was feeling lonely I just needed to DO SOMETHING - go shopping, cycle, walk drive - and I would be OK

At times I would realise I hadn;t actually spoken to another person for 2-3 days and it wasn't a problem

But that is me

Other people are different
I used to work with someone who really could not cope on his own
All the above meant nothing to him - it just didn't work - he is made to be with people - to co-operate and all that

So you have to work out what makes you tick - what do you need - what makes you able to work with just you and the inside of your head

If you are alone - hope it works out - it can be awkward at times even for loners - but it can work - nowadays there is help available online which may help

 

[Ming the Merciless]

I don't know what id do without my wife. Ive been alone years ago, but i was young and just lived a young mans life. Not really experienced loneliness in middle age. She means everything to me.

I think many confuse being alone, with being lonely. The two are not the same and you can have one without the other. Some who are not alone, are the loneliest you find, while others alone are the opposite.

 

[Smokin Joe]

I lived on my own for a year in my early thirties. I rather enjoyed it and I can cope easily with it. I'm happy with my other half, but should circumstances dictate that I were alone again it wouldn't bother me.

 

[Bazzer]

It's something I have thought about a few times. I am content with my own company and organise myself accordingly if Mrs B is away. I would hope that would continue were Mrs B not, for whatever reason, to be around. But I suppose the reality of her not coming home might affect me differently.
My children on the other hand enjoy the company of others and seem to think that when I am on my own I have the same requirements as them, which results in daily telephone calls. Touching but also slightly annoying.

 

[vickster]

It's something I have thought about a few times. I am content with my own company and organise myself accordingly if Mrs B is away. I would hope that would continue were Mrs B not, for whatever reason, to be around. But I suppose the reality of her not coming home might affect me differently.
My children on the other hand enjoy the company of others and seem to think that when I am on my own I have the same requirements as them, which results in daily telephone calls. Touching but also slightly annoying.

Yet another reason not to have children

 

[Drago]

Id be alright, just so long as I had my dawg.

 

[AuroraSaab]

After 13 years with my partner, I’ve just gone through a whirlwind separation.
We spent the week prior to Easter together at her summer house, with her daughter and her boyfriend, so we didn’t have as much time together as I’d have liked.
I had the worst winter if my life (as indeed have many others, too) but SAD (winter depression), lockdown, no travel ANYWHERE, not even to the city and only to the local food shop, no close friends or family nearby, and I was a virtual prisoner in our flat - for about 5.5 months.
My misses, to put it mildly, has a big problem with alcohol, so both of us have had our problems. I’ve always been there for her and supported her as best I could - not easy when she drinks ( to get drunk) 3-5 times a week, but when I needed help and support, she was gazing at the bottom of a glass.
After a visit to the doctor for a general health check, I was found to have VERY low Vitamin D levels, which gave me anxiety, stress, insomnia, mood swings and depression - and I just thought it was the SAD and a lack of winter sun, (normally I have 3-5 months in India).
So I come home early to prepare myself for a new season at work, and the day after, I get an sms (after having spent a whole week together) to say that it’s over, she’s moving out, and we’re selling our flat asap.
26 days later, up to 30th April, we’ve both found rented accommodation, and sold our flat: over and out, done and dusted.
We made a tidy sum out of the sale although I’m no capitalist and money isn’t important to me (necessary, but not important). I had a bad first two weeks (trying to make head and tail of it), now I’m just a bit numb and empty and living alone in a large comfortable ’empty’ flat.
It’ll take a while to get used to being single, but I’ll manage. And I’m certainly not interested in getting involved with someone for a long time. Maybe I’d like a companion, as opposed to a partner (same same but different, maybe) but I’ll just get out more on my bike, out on the golf course, and get my head stuck in my books.
So to all my fellow singles here on CC, good luck and be positive.

Wow, what an upheaval for you, with barely any time to process what was going on either. Sounds like you are making the best of a difficult situation though.

 

[iancity]

Ahh, where to start, recently (well, coming up to a year now) separated from partner of 8 years and suddenly found myself alone for almost the first time in 40 years (living with parents/partners etc). For the first 6 months never really felt alone as youngest child was with me every other night. For the last few months however that has changed and I now have Sun to Wed completely alone (work from home). Got to say I love it! feel so much freedom and its a revelation not having to take other peoples feelings into account when deciding what to do/to eat/to watch/where to go/when to go/what to buy/when to buy it/where will it go/how to decorate/where to put things/ etc etc etc...don't get me wrong, I was never told, cant do this, cant do that etc but you always think "been out on the bike 2 hours now, better get back to the family" whereas now I just come back to me!
However, the one surprising thing I am finding with my new found freedom, and someone alluded to it earlier, is I seem to have lost the motivation for cycling - I now have more time than ever on my hands, and the thought was use it for the bike, get fit, fresh air etc but I think I miss coming home to someone saying how far did you go, how was the ride etc, and that has really surprised me, never thought I was vain but I obviously had a liking to telling people how well (or not) I did. Weird !
Money wise...I struggle, every month is just keeping afloat and although I cut back where I can I miss the 2 wages.
However, cant see me ever wanting a relationship now (I'm only early 50's) and although never say never I think overall being single just suits me.

 

[roadrash]

I can not begin to imagine life without my wife and lifelong best friend, last year she was in hospital for twelve days with covid , i can honestly say it was the worst twelve days ever , we are both 55 yrs old and been best friends since we was 11 yrs old , i honestly dont think i could cope alone.

 

[Old jon]

There are so many ways we might live alone.
My marriage ended in 2000. Finally that is.
So I lived on my own, I was fifty. And not thinking about another partner.
But in 2002 I had one. She lived 200 miles away, and there was no work for someone like me there. We wanted to be together but she was a teacher, had to work one whole term's notice. We happily lived apart, alone, knowing things would be better at the end of term.
In 2016, she died. I was living alone again, differently alone.
2017, I met someone. She lived a long way away, we met, things between us worked. Again, because of the distance, we lived apart, alone, for some time, then happily joined our lives together. For a while this was very good. Then not good.
So here in 2021 I am, unattached, happy, living alone.
How many different 'alones' could there be?
But only tell me the happy ones please.

 

[pawl]

I miss my Ex like a hole in the head …....liar..........OK I missed her so much I cried but now many years on I have got use to it well you would do after 17 years, before that I was looking after my mum 27/7 for 7 years after a stroke.
Now I'm alone, but never lonely as I don't mind it I can do as I please without asking or telling your partner/wife ect.
The times I don't like it is when you do something good and you have know one to tell what you have achieved which can be frustrating at times, but then I have you lot, and I thank you for that.

Just tell us . Most of us are good listeners

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

Id be alright, just so long as I had my dawg.

I had a doggo for many year - helped a lot
She helped me sorted out a lot of complex programming problems



I think she though there might be a biscuit coming if she waited long enough
but then - there normally was

 

[MntnMan62]

I've been partnered now for the better part of 30 years. Not sure we will make it to 31. I've spent a great deal of time pondering what that might be like. There are times when I can't imagine being alone for lots of reasons already mentioned here. There are also times where I can't imagine not being alone in the near future and anxiously anticipate it's arrival, again for lots of reasons already mentioned here. When I was younger and alone I never had a problem being alone. In fact, I felt that one must become comfortable being alone and with one's self in order to be able to have a strong connection with another person. After all, before you find that person and become a couple, you were alone and an individual. You brought "you" to the relationship. From a big picture standpoint I figure whatever is meant to be, will be. And I'll find ways to thrive no matter which it is. Live is not static. It evolves. And we all must learn to roll with the punches as they say.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Id be alright, just so long as I had my dawg.

Is that you Sheriff?