I also have a fear of dying alone in my flat. If i did who'd find me and when? People say "We''l look out for you",but they just say that to make you feel better. I've had friends say "If i don't hear from you after a few days i'll knock on your door and if i don't get a response i'll phone the police". I've tested them out. I've gone 2 weeks without contacting them and yet they don't knock on my door or phone me and they definitely didn't call the police even if they did knock and didn't get a response.
Don't worry about
dying alone - if you are dead then you won't know how long it was before someone found your body, and you won't be particularly bothered by any delay either!
Worry about
nearly-dying... When I flaked out in 2012 I came round close to death. I could hear children playing in the street outside but I couldn't make a sound. I lapsed in and out of consciousness for over 3 hours before I could crawl to a phone and summon help. That really was
not a pleasant experience.
This is one of the reasons why i will not have the Covid vaccine. I have a fear of it causing a blood clot while i'm asleep or just sat there in my chair.
DOES-NOT-COMPUTE... 
You do realise that the risk of getting serious blood clotting complications from Covid-19 is
many times the risk of getting them from the vaccine,
right?
Speaking as someone who has been horribly f*cked by blood clots
twice, my first reaction when I heard the silly scare stories was...
WHY THE HELL IS IT TAKING SO LONG TO GIVE ME MY DAMN VACCINE!!!! (I have since had one jab and eagerly await my second.)
As for living alone... I realised years ago that I have pretty much lived alone all my life, and that effectively includes when I was a child. My sisters shared a room, but I always had my own and spent many hours in there alone. My dad was away working a lot of the time and my mum was busy keeping the household running. I didn't speak to my sisters much. I was pretty much alone in a house with other people wandering about... I got used to it.
And here I am 60-plus years on,
still spending most of my life alone. I finally left the parental home at 28 and in the 37 years since I have only spent 6 months living in the same household as someone else, and that involved kipping in a sleeping bag on their floor every night.
75% of my conversations are inside my own head, 20% are out aloud but still with myself. The other 5% are with the poor people that I bombard when I finally
DO have some company! People with a busy social life don't tend to make 40,000+ posts on a cycling forum...
Anybody who has been on a forum ride with me will probably have noticed that I rarely shut up. One person pointed out that, sorry, but he would prefer
not to chat when going down a twisty-turny descent at 70 km/hr! The thing is, I might not have said a word to another person for a week or two before such a bike ride so I would just be unloading my bottled-up thoughts onto them.
It may be that I finally do hitch up with someone but it is unlikely since I gave up looking over 15 years ago. The chances of me finding someone who I could put up with are slim, and even if I managed that, would they actually be prepared to put up with
me!
A friend has my spare key and I asked her what she would do if she thought something was wrong. She said she would try phoning for a day or two and eventually come over to check up on me if I didn't answer. I told her that it would be better to dial 999 or she might be faced with my decomposing body. She said that she wouldn't leave it too long, so my remains would probably still be relatively fresh. I'm not sure about that - sometimes we go a week between phone calls. Add a few days to that in a hot summer and things could get a bit whiffy!
I will probably die alone. I just hope that it is quick so I don't have to go through a nightmare experience like the one that I had in 2012.
Well, that's the cheerful news update for today - time to put the kettle on!
some very sad storys
