Management Speak

[Hawkeye]

... and now "a big ask". 'Ask' is a verb. It is not a noun.

Leverage, as in "to leverage the market". Leverage used to be a noun and lever (pronounced "leever"), the verb.

 

[postman]

What a load of bo==ocks..No wonder the country is in such a sh== state .

From a 60+ old school .Go to work do the job to the best of your abilities .Go home .Management air heads all full of p==s and crap .Blowing themselves up .Glad i'm retired .

 

[Gromit]

Henry Mintzberg became a figure in the management literature because he did a study of managerial jobs and came up with something like 9 different management functions, which were very different from the arguments made in the so called 'classic' work of Henri Fayol (early C20th). Fayol's work was the first attempt to set out what managers did on a day to day basis and therefore was an attempt understand the management function.

The thing is, his so called 'classic' study, which seems to have had a worldwide influence, was based on an analysis of the diaries of no less than 5 - FIVE - managers. He somehow managed to get this piece of work accepted into the mainstream based on the tiniest and most unrepresentative of samples. What a fraud!

That is really interesting, thank you.

I have watched a few interviews on youtube to give me an idea of what sort of chap he is, because I wasn't convinced about how I could relate his management theory to the horticulture industry.

He came across as being a confident man with well structured ideas. I suppose you can't really pass off a post grad thesis as a mainstream document. Will see if I can get hold of his newest work to see if it is any better.

 

[MacB]

There's a requirement to clarify the parameters of this discussion, the level of response indicates that rarerification isn't having the desired effect, so we need to get down and dirty to understand the grass roots agenda for moving forward. Each of us can be proactive in identifying areas of improvement, prioritising on a ROI basis to stratify, and bring meaning to, our working plan to get ahead of the field. Clearly, without this vital input, the chickens won't be coming home to roost and we could all end up with egg on our faces. Our structure will be rigidly fluid, crystalised in the most malleable form where we support the flexibility to stand firm in the face of adversity. Information is key and implementation of a two way cascade, on a need to know basis, sharing freely among a targetted audience will allow people to clearly understand the position. This all has to be against a framework of ethical unity with clear demarcation of stakeholder responsibilities and never losing sight of our driving principles. We have to meet this challenge head on while looking at the problem from all angles, smash our way through the barriers with subtley and finesse. This isn't a time for for sitting back, wallflowers don't win, it's a time for visionary guidance adapting synergistic energies to hone team prowess to a fine edge. Positioning in a vertical plane of cross purpose opportunity has never been more important, lateral thinking can take us there. Each of you needs to harness your knowledge base to plough this furrow before our seeds can take root. These seeds can only grow if they receive enough crap from above, so our mission is clear.

 

[TVC]

Congratulations MacB, you've got the job. We need a facilitator like you around here.

 

[Fnaar]

MacB's post has ripened my low hanging fruit

 

[girofan]

"We are harmonizing the salary structure!"

Translates as: We are cutting all salaries to the lowest level of our employees.

 

[Arch]

I invented a new phrase some time back, when we snaffled an unused extra large pad of paper from a recycling box, and bunged it in the cab to take back to base. Since the cab is quite small, I ended up saying I'd 'sit on the flipchart'. I'm not sure what it means, but I think it might be something to do with not making one's mind up in a brainstorming session....

 

[ColinJ]

"We are harmonizing the salary structure!"

Translates as: We are cutting all salaries to the lowest level of our employees.

Wouldn't that be "... all salaries below senior manager level..."?

 

[girofan]

Wouldn't that be "... all salaries below senior manager level..."?

It's worse than that Colin! It implies "sod-off it you don't like it. We could do with a staff cull anyway."

 

[ColinJ]

It's worse than that Colin! It implies "sod-off it you don't like it. We could do with a staff cull anyway."

Look on this opportunity as an ongoing career advancement situation! (Not so easy of course  if you have 6 kids to feed and a huge mortgage to stay on top of...)

 

[MacB]

Here's a classic from George Carlin:-

View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CG69A6qRpSk

 

[Norm]

First, there was "at this moment in time" ... then "going forward" ... and now "a big ask". 'Ask' is a verb. It is not a noun.

It's also an chain of eateries.

 

[Maverick Goose]

I'm just off to diarize my goal hierarchies

 

[Maz]

There seems to be a growing number amount "managementese" that brings me close to having a conniption fit ...

First, there was "at this moment in time" ... then "going forward" ... and now "a big ask". 'Ask' is a verb. It is not a noun.

Also "to status". I've heard this many, many times. Sounds awful.
'Status' is a noun, not a verb.