Meaningless marketing jargon

[swee'pea99]

This from last weekend's Observer:

"Award-winning firm SimpleUsabiIity was commissioned by tech startup Vet-AI to create their revolutionary app, Joii. Joii, a, groundbreaking mobile app which leverages AI and is designed to help pet owners to look after their pets in a more accessible way, was supported by the firm via discovery and concept validation, brand validation and app iteration.”

Do wot, mate?

 

[Oldbloke]

"Good to go".

FFS someone tell me what this is supposed to mean.

 

[Drago]

From my understanding of this they want you to download an app, stick your mobile phone up your dogs bum, and marry a vet?

 

[RoadRider400]

"job opportunity in a fast moving environment"

Translates as

We are understaffed so you need to work quicky.

 

[Drago]

Self starter = we can't be arrissed to train you.

 

[classic33]

Does anyone have a name and address for the originator of that crime against the language, "See it, say it, sorted"? It must be driving former rail passengers on to the road in droves.

He was/is.

 

[Jenkins]

Want to make your festival/event sound upmarket - have it "curated"

 

[Drago]

Want to make your festival/event sound upmarket - have it "curated"

What, hung out in the sun to dry?

 

[Moon bunny]

On the road this morning I saw at least four vehicles claiming to be carrying some kind of solutions. Not one of them was a tanker.

 

[glasgowcyclist]

On the road this morning I saw at least four vehicles claiming to be carrying some kind of solutions. Not one of them was a tanker.

There’s a van I see round my way marked “bespoke home interior wall covering solutions”.
Why not simply say “painter & decorator”?