Me too
Meet Yvette Caster
- Thread starter glenn forger
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Jody
Stubborn git
It doesn't sound like a bad idea. If I ditched that and Faceache then the world might seem a better place.
mustang1
Legendary Member
- Location
- London, UK
Hello everyone, my responses have the arrows `>`.
There’s a two-wheeled menace terrorising our already crowded roads – say it with me – ‘the cyclist’.
> it already doesn't make sense: crowded road, so should the cyclist keep the bike at home and take another car on the road?
He, and, yes, it is almost always a he, some balding MAMIL (Middle-aged Man in Lycra) sweating away, holding up traffic, causing accidents and generally being a total liability on the modern highway.
> mmh mamil. So modern. Let's see what else click-bait-yvette will indulge us with ...
It’s hard to know where to begin when listing all that’s wrong with bikes, cycling and the fact they’re even allowed on a quiet lane let along a busy London road, because there’s so many things, paired with the fact surely anyone with half a brain can see they’re absurd.
> OK so that's the pre-face, let's get into the meat!
But let’s try.
>please do…
If we set aside, for a moment, the danger they pose both to what roads are for – cars – and what the pavements are for – walkers, there’s first the visuals.
> the visuals eh? Idk where this is leading in order to strengthen your argument, but let's roll with it…
They look ridiculous.
>yeah uhm you're not supporting your argument here…
Nobody looks good riding a bicycle. There’s a reason James Bond drives an Aston Martin and Knight Rider has KITT while bikes are for the likes of Benny Hill and Granville – they are the transport of clowns, buffoons and Boris Johnson.
>you're entitled to your opinion, but if your leading argument is they look ridiculous, then you have a way to go. This is a click-bait-yvette article isn't it?
Exercising on them leaves you with a Peter Crouch physique – seriously unenviable.
Idk who peter is, but maybe you mean strong legs, skinny upper? Sigha. I'm still waiting for the meat of your article...
Plus, a bike’s construction is frankly some kind of highly suspicious witchcraft – how do they even stay up at all?
> yu know, somink to do wid fizix init.
Then there’s the Lycra. The ugly, lurid, Lycra of the man on the train stinking the place out with his bike sweat.
> wait. You're telling us why cyclists shouldn't be in the road, and now you've gone to being on the train?
Said man will also inevitably block the train doors with his unroadworthy beast,
> well, I have seen people carrying two bags, one is their normal bag, the other is their gym bag. Doesn't this block the train doors? But are we talking about trains already? You haven't told us about the roads yet!
or at the least stab you with the grimy edge of his clunky fold-up.
> I'll give you that. Some folding bikes are clunky when folded up, on the train. Are you getting to the road bit any time soon I wonder.
As for the idea of getting exercise on the way to work, I like the idea in theory but I’d be arrested if I tried doing Zumba down the A1 and don’t see why bikes should be any different.
> you don't see why bike riders should be different to zumba on the street? Are you sure you might not be a clown in disguise? I happen to like clowns and you certainly seem quite funny.
Gyms on trains would be a far better idea, but if I pitched that on Dragon’s Den they’d tell me I was out of my sodding mind.
> well, you never know. Anyway, youre STILL talking about trains. Isn't this supposed to be about why you don't want cyclists on the roads?
Then there’s the appalling rudeness of so many cyclists.I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve seen Sunday cyclists, merrily riding down a windy country lane SIDE BY SIDE in a 60 zone.
> let me see now: Sunday cyclists, so less traffic, and you're complaining about crowded roads. Well, at least you started talking about roads at last. It’s almost as if they want to be bumped off.
>that's your perception?
Then there’s the ‘speed demons’ who don’t think the highway code applies to them, nearly mangling pedestrians who have waited patiently at crossings, with their heads down, peddling madly through red lights.
>yes! I see this. And I don't like cyclists doing that. But do look the other way when car drivers do it. Why do you think red light cameras were invented even before cycling became popular? Yes yes really, have a guess…
Let’s be honest, any claims they may make about saving the environment (smug, smug, smug) are surely negated by the amount of fumes emitted by vehicles queued behind them, desperately trying to overtake safely as they wobble about.
> uh huh. So now we should talk about percentages and the amount of time you are ‘stuck’ behind a cyclist compared to other times you may be stopped, wasting time.
Don’t get me wrong, bikes are all well and good in their place but that place is the mountain bike trail, skate park or spin class.
> well, next time I see a car that is stopped, I'll make a note of what is actually stopping it. In my experience its usually other traffic.
Get off our roads, two-wheels.
> nah, we’re not going to do that. You haven't said anything to convince me her but you spent a fair amount of time talking about trains.
There’s a two-wheeled menace terrorising our already crowded roads – say it with me – ‘the cyclist’.
> it already doesn't make sense: crowded road, so should the cyclist keep the bike at home and take another car on the road?
He, and, yes, it is almost always a he, some balding MAMIL (Middle-aged Man in Lycra) sweating away, holding up traffic, causing accidents and generally being a total liability on the modern highway.
> mmh mamil. So modern. Let's see what else click-bait-yvette will indulge us with ...
It’s hard to know where to begin when listing all that’s wrong with bikes, cycling and the fact they’re even allowed on a quiet lane let along a busy London road, because there’s so many things, paired with the fact surely anyone with half a brain can see they’re absurd.
> OK so that's the pre-face, let's get into the meat!
But let’s try.
>please do…
If we set aside, for a moment, the danger they pose both to what roads are for – cars – and what the pavements are for – walkers, there’s first the visuals.
> the visuals eh? Idk where this is leading in order to strengthen your argument, but let's roll with it…
They look ridiculous.
>yeah uhm you're not supporting your argument here…
Nobody looks good riding a bicycle. There’s a reason James Bond drives an Aston Martin and Knight Rider has KITT while bikes are for the likes of Benny Hill and Granville – they are the transport of clowns, buffoons and Boris Johnson.
>you're entitled to your opinion, but if your leading argument is they look ridiculous, then you have a way to go. This is a click-bait-yvette article isn't it?
Exercising on them leaves you with a Peter Crouch physique – seriously unenviable.
Idk who peter is, but maybe you mean strong legs, skinny upper? Sigha. I'm still waiting for the meat of your article...
Plus, a bike’s construction is frankly some kind of highly suspicious witchcraft – how do they even stay up at all?
> yu know, somink to do wid fizix init.
Then there’s the Lycra. The ugly, lurid, Lycra of the man on the train stinking the place out with his bike sweat.
> wait. You're telling us why cyclists shouldn't be in the road, and now you've gone to being on the train?
Said man will also inevitably block the train doors with his unroadworthy beast,
> well, I have seen people carrying two bags, one is their normal bag, the other is their gym bag. Doesn't this block the train doors? But are we talking about trains already? You haven't told us about the roads yet!
or at the least stab you with the grimy edge of his clunky fold-up.
> I'll give you that. Some folding bikes are clunky when folded up, on the train. Are you getting to the road bit any time soon I wonder.
As for the idea of getting exercise on the way to work, I like the idea in theory but I’d be arrested if I tried doing Zumba down the A1 and don’t see why bikes should be any different.
> you don't see why bike riders should be different to zumba on the street? Are you sure you might not be a clown in disguise? I happen to like clowns and you certainly seem quite funny.
Gyms on trains would be a far better idea, but if I pitched that on Dragon’s Den they’d tell me I was out of my sodding mind.
> well, you never know. Anyway, youre STILL talking about trains. Isn't this supposed to be about why you don't want cyclists on the roads?
Then there’s the appalling rudeness of so many cyclists.I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve seen Sunday cyclists, merrily riding down a windy country lane SIDE BY SIDE in a 60 zone.
> let me see now: Sunday cyclists, so less traffic, and you're complaining about crowded roads. Well, at least you started talking about roads at last. It’s almost as if they want to be bumped off.
>that's your perception?
Then there’s the ‘speed demons’ who don’t think the highway code applies to them, nearly mangling pedestrians who have waited patiently at crossings, with their heads down, peddling madly through red lights.
>yes! I see this. And I don't like cyclists doing that. But do look the other way when car drivers do it. Why do you think red light cameras were invented even before cycling became popular? Yes yes really, have a guess…
Let’s be honest, any claims they may make about saving the environment (smug, smug, smug) are surely negated by the amount of fumes emitted by vehicles queued behind them, desperately trying to overtake safely as they wobble about.
> uh huh. So now we should talk about percentages and the amount of time you are ‘stuck’ behind a cyclist compared to other times you may be stopped, wasting time.
Don’t get me wrong, bikes are all well and good in their place but that place is the mountain bike trail, skate park or spin class.
> well, next time I see a car that is stopped, I'll make a note of what is actually stopping it. In my experience its usually other traffic.
Get off our roads, two-wheels.
> nah, we’re not going to do that. You haven't said anything to convince me her but you spent a fair amount of time talking about trains.
Thing about these people is that whilst they talk about cycle commuters, they can't get out of their head the idea that if we weren't there on bikes, we wouldn't be there at all. They're too thick to realise that the alternative would be us driving. And if they do, they're still too thick to realise the main cause of congestion is too many cars.
I lose far more minutes to motor traffic, whether cycling or driving, than I ever do to cyclists. After wind, the density of the motor traffic is the strongest determinant of how long my commute will take; I can ride down Prince of Wales Road in Sheffield at 35-50mph if it's clear; I can only filter down it at 20-25, with frequent stops where the gap just isn't there.
I think it's a defence mechanism. Deep down they know full well that everyone driving isn't sustainable, but they have to deflect the blame, as they sit in the congestion, to avoid the inevitable conclusion that they are their own problem.
I lose far more minutes to motor traffic, whether cycling or driving, than I ever do to cyclists. After wind, the density of the motor traffic is the strongest determinant of how long my commute will take; I can ride down Prince of Wales Road in Sheffield at 35-50mph if it's clear; I can only filter down it at 20-25, with frequent stops where the gap just isn't there.
I think it's a defence mechanism. Deep down they know full well that everyone driving isn't sustainable, but they have to deflect the blame, as they sit in the congestion, to avoid the inevitable conclusion that they are their own problem.
Tojo
Über Member
- Location
- Newcastle-upon-Tyne
MissTillyFlop
Evil communist dictator, lover of gerbils & Pope.
GrumpyGregry
Here for rides.
Abbey Crouch doesn't seem to mind Peter "What would you be if you weren't a footballer? A virgin!" Crouch's physique.
and his ratio of goals per minute played for England ain't too shabby!
and his ratio of goals per minute played for England ain't too shabby!
Brandane
Legendary Member
- Location
- Costa Clyde
His bank account was of course a completely irrelevant factor in the attraction
.
GrumpyGregry
Here for rides.
I prefer to think of it as a love match.His bank account was of course a completely irrelevant factor in the attraction
OP
OP
glenn forger
Guest
They've had a child so they might just be very fond of each other. I'm trying to cultivate cycling rage here and it keeps turning into a sleb slagfest.
GrumpyGregry
Here for rides.
Two kiddies dahrling, two!
Berk on a Bike
Veteran
- Location
- Yorkshire
This measured response did the rounds on Twitter http://cyclistsareamenace.blogspot.co.uk/2015/11/an-open-letter-to-yvette-caster.html
BrumJim
Forum Stalwart (won't take the hint and leave...)
- Location
- Selly Oak, Birmingham
Probably because "No, we should ban cars, all wear lycra and become vegans while we're at it" is now at 74%.
