captain nemo1701
Space cadet. Deck 42 Main Engineering.
- Location
- Bristol
The out-take on this is even funnier than the final scene. Note, star Sellers is the first to corpse....
Memorable Farts......yours or by others.
- Thread starter Dave7
- Start date
Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.
The out-take on this is even funnier than the final scene. Note, star Sellers is the first to corpse....
captain nemo1701
Space cadet. Deck 42 Main Engineering.
- Location
- Bristol
Its a popular misconception that ladies don't guff. I once had a female lodger and the bathroom window is at the back of the house facing the rear garden. One summer day whilst I was out gardening, she was taking a bath with the window ajar. Suddenly there was an unmistakable 'ka-boom' like a depth charge going off in some old WW2 movie. I heard it as I painted the fence, a good 50ft away. Impressive
. Another lady friend is 75 now and doesn't care a jot about blowing one off.Electric_Andy
Heavy Metal Fan
- Location
- Plymouth
Quote of the day!
captain nemo1701
Space cadet. Deck 42 Main Engineering.
- Location
- Bristol
Its from a Ben Elton show I saw in 1990 in Bristol, so credit where its due.
It went something like '..there's always that fart which was a bit more substantial than you anticipated...'
Homers Double
Well-Known Member
I remember one of mine from several years ago in a holidaycottacge that made my sister physically sick. She was (I think) pregnant at the time so that wouldn't have helped.
More recent was another of my love clouds, it lasted so long and got a stare off my wife that I simply said "my a-hole had to take a breath half way through that".
More recent was another of my love clouds, it lasted so long and got a stare off my wife that I simply said "my a-hole had to take a breath half way through that".
- Location
- Inside my skull
Vapin' Joe
Formerly known as Smokin Joe
- Location
- Bare headed cyclist, Smoker
Women don't fart much because they don't stop talking for long enough to let the pressure build up.
1. Ate baked beans and then went to work in a warehouse stacking boxes from one pallet to another for 9 hours. I was farting almost non stop. Quite quick I was told openly by 3 male colleagues (I'm a female) to stop farting. Achievement.
2. My supervisor liked farting when walking past colleagues in the canteen during break times. One day I got my revenge (not intended). Supervisor had a tiny office room where forklift drivers and pickers used to come to pick their load sheets. I went in to pick up mine. This tiny room was empty of people so without having a second thought I let a very long, very smelly, very fresh boom. Few seconds later supervisor came in. It took him another 2 - 3 seconds for his nose to register the eye watering smell. I thought I will wet myself with laugh watching his awfuly exaggerated reaction. He then proudly told to the whole warehouse team what I've done.
3. Walking in the library checking if there are any people left before closing and locking the building. I was 100% sure that top floor was empty. Walking between shelves I let a very loud boom. Oh and the library had a very good acoustics. Left the shelves, walked into and open space ... to see a person sitting at the desk staring at me. It took me a lot of effort to carry on walking with a straight face on but as soon as I left the top floor I was giggling to myself like mad.
Had a male colleague who's farts were soundless but the smell was a killer. Once all our team were waiting to clock out from work and Gary (that colleague) was waiting with us. Everybody were chatting - usual stuff. Suddenly everyone stopped talking ... a few seconds later somebody asked "Gary, have you just farted?" My sense of smell is almost non-existent but even I could smell it. Maaaan, the stench was awful. Well beyond the eye watering stage. Gary looked around and smiled to himself. Normally clocking out from work is a very quick business. Normally. That day our shift clocked out late enough to get a lot of questioning stares from the other shift.
Another male colleague (Edwin) was diabetic and farted more often than he breathed. And his farts smelled like a pile of rotten eggs. Many times you can see a group of forklifts driving and all of a sudden just one forklift carries on (Edwin) while others dissapear to different directions ... only to meet at the same destination. Unfortunately there were times when driving behind Edwin was unavoidable ...
p.s. I think that the skill of farting while driving a car must be taught as essential in the driving schools. Maybe it's natural for men but as a female it took me a while to learn it by myself.
2. My supervisor liked farting when walking past colleagues in the canteen during break times. One day I got my revenge (not intended). Supervisor had a tiny office room where forklift drivers and pickers used to come to pick their load sheets. I went in to pick up mine. This tiny room was empty of people so without having a second thought I let a very long, very smelly, very fresh boom. Few seconds later supervisor came in. It took him another 2 - 3 seconds for his nose to register the eye watering smell. I thought I will wet myself with laugh watching his awfuly exaggerated reaction. He then proudly told to the whole warehouse team what I've done.
3. Walking in the library checking if there are any people left before closing and locking the building. I was 100% sure that top floor was empty. Walking between shelves I let a very loud boom. Oh and the library had a very good acoustics. Left the shelves, walked into and open space ... to see a person sitting at the desk staring at me. It took me a lot of effort to carry on walking with a straight face on but as soon as I left the top floor I was giggling to myself like mad.
Had a male colleague who's farts were soundless but the smell was a killer. Once all our team were waiting to clock out from work and Gary (that colleague) was waiting with us. Everybody were chatting - usual stuff. Suddenly everyone stopped talking ... a few seconds later somebody asked "Gary, have you just farted?" My sense of smell is almost non-existent but even I could smell it. Maaaan, the stench was awful. Well beyond the eye watering stage. Gary looked around and smiled to himself. Normally clocking out from work is a very quick business. Normally. That day our shift clocked out late enough to get a lot of questioning stares from the other shift.
Another male colleague (Edwin) was diabetic and farted more often than he breathed. And his farts smelled like a pile of rotten eggs. Many times you can see a group of forklifts driving and all of a sudden just one forklift carries on (Edwin) while others dissapear to different directions ... only to meet at the same destination. Unfortunately there were times when driving behind Edwin was unavoidable ...
p.s. I think that the skill of farting while driving a car must be taught as essential in the driving schools. Maybe it's natural for men but as a female it took me a while to learn it by myself.
ktmbiker58
Senior Member
It's no good I can't hold in the urge not to post on this thread any longer 
My epic event occured 45 years ago, I was with a group of mates propping up the bar at a local called The Ragged Cot, a quantity of Wadsworths 6X had been consumed along with a number of pickled eggs and salt-n-vinegar crisps. I eased a silent but deadly, nothing happened for what seemed like ages then it hit - there are some farts that are so toxic they cease to be funny and safe to say no one was laughing, especially the young couple sat about 6 feet away tucking in to chicken in a basket. The young lady started to retch and was escorted outside by her very angry boyfriend who returned to complain to the barman.
I tried for ages to recreate the formula that created such a pinnacle of olfactory perfection but failed alas.
My epic event occured 45 years ago, I was with a group of mates propping up the bar at a local called The Ragged Cot, a quantity of Wadsworths 6X had been consumed along with a number of pickled eggs and salt-n-vinegar crisps. I eased a silent but deadly, nothing happened for what seemed like ages then it hit - there are some farts that are so toxic they cease to be funny and safe to say no one was laughing, especially the young couple sat about 6 feet away tucking in to chicken in a basket. The young lady started to retch and was escorted outside by her very angry boyfriend who returned to complain to the barman.
I tried for ages to recreate the formula that created such a pinnacle of olfactory perfection but failed alas.
Not a particular fart as these were, to say the least, multiple.
Back in the late 70s I worked at Cadburys (on the Wirral). Good company and an excellent canteen where we would often dine.
Once a week they did a very good curry. A group of us used to have curry, Rice and chips WITH baked beans on top. Being young, fit men we could really put our food away and by mid afternoon EVERYBODY knew who had had the curry with baked beans.
Ahhh good memories them
Back in the late 70s I worked at Cadburys (on the Wirral). Good company and an excellent canteen where we would often dine.
Once a week they did a very good curry. A group of us used to have curry, Rice and chips WITH baked beans on top. Being young, fit men we could really put our food away and by mid afternoon EVERYBODY knew who had had the curry with baked beans.
Ahhh good memories them
- Location
- Inside my skull
A northern jacuzzi, farting in the bath.
captain nemo1701
Space cadet. Deck 42 Main Engineering.
- Location
- Bristol
Farts are forever funny. We all cough, sneeze, burp, fart, pee & poop. Toilet humour is a great leveler, so you can either find it serious and be mildly offended or its hilariously funny. In fact, one of Billy Connolly's most famous & funny routines is the 'wee beige jobby', something we all must have experienced - someone didn't flush the public loo properly and their deposit is 'smiling at you from the pan' 
.
.
Farts are forever funny. We all cough, sneeze, burp, fart, pee & poop. Toilet humour is a great leveler, so you can either find it serious and be mildly offended or its hilariously funny. In fact, one of Billy Connolly's most famous & funny routines is the 'wee beige jobby', something we all must have experienced - someone didn't flush the public loo properly and their deposit is 'smiling at you from the pan'
I recall Billy making a 78 record of sketches back in (I think) the 70s) One was when someone told him "I remember you from school, you used to pick your nose and Flick the snot" to which he replied "I wasn't the snot flicker, I was the farter".
