snorri
Legendary Member
- Location
- East coast, up a bit.
Just when I thought I had a good mate I could confide in, and now I find my sexlife being unravelled and analysed in Cycle Chat.
Morals, affairs and celibacy...
- Thread starter rich p
- Start date
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Francesca
Well-Known Member
- Location
- Preston,Lancashire, and the Moon
Do not get involved..sorry but your mate should be honest enough to speak to his wife about things instead of pissing about behind her back! I agree with Smutchins post above, enjoy what you have, and work on it, a few shags with someone is not worth losing your family or loved ones over. If he doesnt tell his wife, sooner or later, he WILL get caught..that will definately happen.
fossyant
Ride It Like You Stole It!
- Location
- South Manchester
Eww, people have sex after 50 
(Something my sister said when she was in her 20's) !
(Something my sister said when she was in her 20's) !
ColinJ
Puzzle game procrastinator!
- Location
- Todmorden - Yorks/Lancs border
He should discuss his feelings with his wife. If she is genuinely never going to be interested in sex again, I think it is probably asking a lot to expect him to be celibate for maybe 25 years or so. If he really loves her, he wouldn't want to betray her. If she really loves him, she wouldn't want him to feel frustrated.
Perhaps they could come to a compromise such as him going to another city at least (say) 50 miles from home once a month to have a one night stand with a single woman, a purely physical thing, no phone numbers or full names exchanged, the other woman told exactly what the situation was in advance? In theory that might work, but in practice attachments can form quickly. I don't think that I'd be able to handle that.
Perhaps they could come to a compromise such as him going to another city at least (say) 50 miles from home once a month to have a one night stand with a single woman, a purely physical thing, no phone numbers or full names exchanged, the other woman told exactly what the situation was in advance? In theory that might work, but in practice attachments can form quickly. I don't think that I'd be able to handle that.
Cletus Van Damme
Previously known as Cheesney Hawks
- Location
- Out in the sticks...
He should maybe go and see a prostitute if sex is all he wants. I am not saying it is a great idea, but at least that way there is no comeback and no feelings involved. I would guess that married men make up the greatest part of their clientele anyway. Its obviously a dumb thing to do, but getting involved with a divorcee whom could be lonely is probably dumber. Unless his marriage is dead in more ways than the sex, then he should maybe just get out. Just a thought.
Vapin' Joe
Formerly known as Smokin Joe
- Location
- Bare headed cyclist, Smoker
If he's that good a mate offer to cover for him, providing alibis and so forth.
You never know when you might need to call in the favour yourself...
You never know when you might need to call in the favour yourself...
- Location
- Glasgow
uhhhhh ........ poor woman, never wanting sex again and being dead sure about it??? Frustrated hubby gets green light then?
Let her go incognito on a date with a handsome hunk (insert the man of her dreams here) there will be no HRT needed
As far as I know, and I know him better than her, he is happy in the marriage and has a decent life aside from the lack of sex. He has a good job, a nice family, nice house. He did mention that prostitutes wouldn't appeal to him as being too clinical and one-sided passion. TBH, I can sympathise with that aspect but I suspect it could all end in tears if he goes ahead.
Oh well, other people's lives and all that.
Oh well, other people's lives and all that.
ColinJ
Puzzle game procrastinator!
- Location
- Todmorden - Yorks/Lancs border
I suggested that they talk about it as adults who cared about each other.uhhhhh ........ poor woman, never wanting sex again and being dead sure about it??? Frustrated hubby gets green light then?
Let her go incognito on a date with a handsome hunk (insert the man of her dreams here) there will be no HRT needed
If I loved a woman but had zero sex drive and it became clear that the situation wasn't going to change and my partner were highly frustrated, I wouldn't just say "Tough, live with it!"
I would either try to deal with the problem of my lack of interest, or consider plan B - that she gets the anonymous hunk once-a-month deal. It would be difficult to handle, but perhaps welcoming her home afterwards, snuggling up with her and saying "Come on love, I know you are dying to tell me all about it!" would be better than infidelity, divorce or resentful frustration?
smutchin
Cat 6 Racer
- Location
- The Red Enclave
It sounds to me like the reason he's brought it up is because he's at best half-hearted about the idea. If he didn't have doubts about the wisdom of it, he probably wouldn't have mentioned it. You'd be doing him a favour by telling him not to go through with it.
I can sympathise with the lack of sex thing - it's very frustrating for a man with an active libido to have to go without for prolonged periods, but he should try to remember that there are more important things at stake here than getting his end away.
And he should also bear in mind that most people aren't actually getting as much as the constant daily bombardment of sex and sexualised imagery on TV, in magazines, on the internet etc would suggest. His situation is probably not as uncommon as he thinks, and most people deal with it without having affairs. We're not French, you know!
d.
I can sympathise with the lack of sex thing - it's very frustrating for a man with an active libido to have to go without for prolonged periods, but he should try to remember that there are more important things at stake here than getting his end away.
And he should also bear in mind that most people aren't actually getting as much as the constant daily bombardment of sex and sexualised imagery on TV, in magazines, on the internet etc would suggest. His situation is probably not as uncommon as he thinks, and most people deal with it without having affairs. We're not French, you know!
d.
Francesca
Well-Known Member
- Location
- Preston,Lancashire, and the Moon
maybe he should just chop his knob off...problem solved.
U
User482
Guest
Rich, being a great mate, we all know that you've relieved his frustrations, and this is merely a diversion...
ColinJ
Puzzle game procrastinator!
- Location
- Todmorden - Yorks/Lancs border
Not really - he might still feel frustrated, he just wouldn't be able to do much about it!maybe he should just chop his knob off...problem solved.
Lopping his goolies off might 'cool his biryani down a bit' though!
(Works for hooligans?)
- Location
- Glasgow
I suggested that they talk about it as adults who cared about each other.
If I loved a woman but had zero sex drive and it became clear that the situation wasn't going to change and my partner were highly frustrated, I wouldn't just say "Tough, live with it!"
I would either try to deal with the problem of my lack of interest, or consider plan B - that she gets the anonymous hunk once-a-month deal. It would be difficult to handle, but perhaps welcoming her home afterwards, snuggling up with her and saying "Come on love, I know you are dying to tell me all about it!" would be better than infidelity, divorce or resentful frustration?
Francesca
Well-Known Member
- Location
- Preston,Lancashire, and the Moon
buy him a blow up doll :-0
