Musician Jokes

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"Beethoven had an ear for music."
 

Beardie

Well-Known Member
You are lost in the jungle. Just as you are about to despair, in a clearing you see a very good recorder player, a very bad recorder player, and a pink elephant. Which one do you ask for directions?


















The very bad recorder player, because the other two are just products of your fevered imagination.
 

thegrumpybiker

New Member
Location
North London
Well this isn't a joke exactly, it's from a genuine pub conversation I had with a couple of mates.
We were talking about Blues musicians and noticed how many of them were blind, or at least according to their nicknames, Lemon Jefferson, Willie McTell, Willie Johnson to name but a few. We then went on to wonder how many ailments afflicted other blues musicians leading us to ponder over the more obscure Deafmute Magee, Gammy leg Hank Jones, Gastroenteritus Joe Smith, Ingrowing toenails Henderson and Goutfoot Charlie Washington.
I guess you had to be there...
 

mikeitup

Veteran
Location
Walsall
Three Blokes are sitting in a bar and they get talking. First guys starts bragging about how much he earns: £90,000 2 flash cars, 4 houses etc. The 2nd guy brags too: 50,000 1 flash car, 2 houses. 3rd guys is really quiet. 1st guys asks him how much he earns. £10,000. The second guys asks "what guage strings do you use?"
 

palinurus

Velo, boulot, dodo
Location
Watford
Knock knock

who's there?

Knock knock

who's there?

knock knock

who's there?

knock knock

who's there?

knock knock

who's there?

knock knock

who's there?





Philip Glass.
 

Fab Foodie

hanging-on in quiet desperation ...
Location
Kirton, Devon.
Quite an old Quote

Lady Cellist audtioning for orchestra.

Conductor not impressed. Says he:-

"Madam, you have between your legs that which would make many men happy and all you can do is scratch it"

Can't remember who said it - but it's a fairly well known quote.

IIRC it was Sir Malcolm Sargent. I heard it as...
Between your legs you have a thing of great beauty and all you can do is scratch it...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malcolm_Sargent
 
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