My recent encounter with a looney

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I was cycling along here, a narrow road with cars parked on both sides. It was a little after 7, and there was no other traffic on the road, so I was was positioned well out of the door zone on either side, which is the middle of the road.

I hear a horn bleating repeatedly, and see in my mirror a car closing on me rapidly with it's lights flashing. As the light ahead has just turned red, and I don't want this idiot passing me at speed in a narrow gap, I hold primary up to the intersection. He pulls up close behind me, gets out of the car, veins and tendons sticking out on his neck and starts ranting at me: "What are you doing in the middle of the road?" "I pay £600/year to keep this car on the road" etc etc. I responded in some way, but it did not stop his flow of invective. Note: he was wearing a Royal Mail uniform and driving a late model Audi Sports of some sort.

Finally the lights changed and I surprised myself by stepping off my bike and not moving - I'm not say this was a wise thing to do, but I'd been victim of a stream of abuse for existing (to be clear, the lights and horns started when he saw my tail lights ahead in the distance) so may not have been thinking clearly. Anyway, there was not room to pass, so he was stuck.

He was enraged, so wasn't going to allow this. I was standing to the right of my bike and he mounted to the footpath to pass on the left. There still wasn't enough room, so he squeezed past, pushing against my bike. And here's the thing: his car has nice, expensive duco and my bike has metal pedals. It was too dark to see as he moved quickly away, but I think he probably did more than £600 of damage to his door panels.

A couple of pedestrian witness ran up to make sure I was alright and offer me his license details. I did not take them as I was fine, and certainly do not want any contact with him in the future. I realised I was quite shaken when I got home.

Coda: you always think of clever things to say after the incident "You have to keep taking the tablets everyday, even if you feel fine"; "You don't pay £600 a year to use the roads, you pay it to drive a flash car"; "Google 'door zone'. And while you are there, google 'road rage'".
 

Octet

Veteran
Hehehe,

That is brilliant, he sounds like he deserved every scratch he got from it! :thumbsup:
 

Drago

Legendary Member
I'd have checked him for the likely good of concealed weapons, checked he wasn't bigger than me (unlikely) and then just told him to "f@&% off".

One of the advantages of being a 6'3" 244lb bodybuilder turned power lifter (the kids in the vilkage reckon I'm "hench", whatever that exactly means) is that twats like this are too cowardly to start on me, so this sort of confrontation is a rarity in my life. Fine by me.
 

downfader

extimus uero philosophus
Location
'ampsheeeer
Check the pedal over to make sure theres no flex on the bearings, cracks to the cage etc!

Other than that the driver sounds like a bit of a d*** (to use an understatement)
 

BentMikey

Rider of Seolferwulf
Location
South London
Have a manhug mate, that stuff sucks. You can and should take great delight in his utter failing though. Pushing past and scraping his car on your bike has to be the best bit of instant karma you could wish for.

I'd be so tempted to report it as road rage and a fail to stop collision so his insurance gets to hear about it. It'll go up if he claims on the scrapes anyway, but how much more will it go up once the company realises he deliberately drove into you?
 

LCpl Boiled Egg

Three word soundbite
Well done for keeping your cool. Mikey's suggestion is a good one - make the idiot pay more insurance then he might think twice about threatening vulnerable road users in future.
 

Arjimlad

Tights of Cydonia
Location
South Glos
Quel knob...very nicely done on your part there.
 

davefb

Guru
''Don't you think the hundreds of cars parked on either side of the road are blocking the road?'' It's astonishing that in roads narrowed by cars parked on both sides drivers see the cyclist as blocking the way.
totally agree..
Its like parked or stopped cars are invisible.
 
Coda: you always think of clever things to say after the incident "You have to keep taking the tablets everyday, even if you feel fine"; "You don't pay £600 a year to use the roads, you pay it to drive a flash car"; "Google 'door zone'. And while you are there, google 'road rage'".

Be grateful you didn't come up with something quick witted. I did on Friday evening; after a fight with a seriously bad road surface I was not in the best frame of mind when I approached a roundabout. the main lane stayed to the right, with a left only turn coming off on the left - not sure how to explain that bit, but the new lane which I did not want arrived on the left, so I stayed with the "primary" and ended up in the right hand of the 2 lanes as I approached the roundabout to go straight on. Left lane went left only, right lane right and straight on. The pissed off car driver (pissed off because I held them up for a few seconds) came alongside me to the left at the give way lines - wound down his window and demanded to know why I had no indicate where I was going at the roundabout...

Rather too quick wittedly and probably not the best answer, ok definitely not the best answer, straight out, with no raised voice, no smile, or anything like that, just totally straight face I asked "is it was 1 or 2 fingers for straight on?" A gap appeared so I left the scene quickly to go and clear my mind and calm down a touch... thankfully he left it at that.

think at times we are not our best friends
 
Thanks everyone. I was happy to see him disappear, as I didn't want him realising what he'd done, coming back and blaming me. As far as size and weight goes, I have the alternative super-power to being 2 metres and weighing 100kg: I'm a woman. They may get all "up in my face" but they do not get physical. Or at least not with so many witnesses about. (I think I'm at the same risk of a "punishment pass" as a man, but much less of a physical assault).

That street is a rat-run, skipping a red light and Chiswick roundabout. It's on the way to Royal Mail Brentford, and I suspect he was late for his overnight shift, and was hoping to cut 30 seconds off his journey, which he thought I'd mess up.

New Audi with £600/year VED, but working night shift for Royal Mail? You're right: he's probably not only living with his mum, but still getting an allowance.
 

downfader

extimus uero philosophus
Location
'ampsheeeer
Thanks everyone. I was happy to see him disappear, as I didn't want him realising what he'd done, coming back and blaming me. As far as size and weight goes, I have the alternative super-power to being 2 metres and weighing 100kg: I'm a woman. They may get all "up in my face" but they do not get physical. Or at least not with so many witnesses about. (I think I'm at the same risk of a "punishment pass" as a man, but much less of a physical assault).

That street is a rat-run, skipping a red light and Chiswick roundabout. It's on the way to Royal Mail Brentford, and I suspect he was late for his overnight shift, and was hoping to cut 30 seconds off his journey, which he thought I'd mess up.

New Audi with £600/year VED, but working night shift for Royal Mail? You're right: he's probably not only living with his mum, but still getting an allowance.

Quite possibly he's one of these idiot fast-tracked-managers from TNT put into the Royal Mail to "modernise" them..
 
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