Need advice, pronto

[TVC]

You could invite them in to play naked twister.

 

[screenman]

Ask them in and sit them down with a nice cup of tea or coffee, engage them in serious discussion for a couple of hours too see if the can convice you of the benefits of joining thier gang.

I suggest all this so that we can have a break from you for a while

 

[flake99please]

Tell them you're disfellowed.

 

[KneesUp]

I managed to get some Jehovah's Witnesses arguing about the interpretation of the bible once. That was fun. I don't think they often talk to people who've read the whole book already.

I persuaded them that it was only fair that if they wanted me to consider their world view, that they considered mine, and got them to agree to take a copy of The God Delusion away to read, and I'd read whatever book they wanted me to read, so we could meet up the following week to chat. I never saw them, or any other Witness, again. The God Delusion was left on my step overnight a few days later.

 

[Cp40Carl]

Ask them for their current predicted armageddon date (they've had a large number of failed prophesies so far) and whether this will bring about an Evans Cycles closing down sale...

 

[Yellow Saddle]

Put a Phil Collins record on.

Is that the one when you play it backwards Satan talks to you?

 

[Drago]

I chickened out. I didn't want to risk being brainwashed and forced to give all my money to the Chief Mooney, so I cunningly waited until they were at the end of the cul de sac then shot out in the other direction to take Lemmy for a walk.

Some excellent suggestions, for which I thank you all. The Phil Collins one was a bit OTT though - we were just having a laugh, but that went too far!

 

[Mr Celine]

I used to have a flatmate who loved it when the Jehovah's witnesses knocked at the door as he would run rings round them.
He'd ask about their current worldwide membership, when they were formed and how many JWs there had been since then.
Then point out that if only 144000 reach heaven the odds were against him so wouldn't it be a better idea if he changed religion himself?

 

[winjim]

Is that the one when you play it backwards Satan talks to you?

No, forwards.

 

[Tin Pot]

You could invite them in to play naked twister.

When my dad was fifty something unemployed and laying around all day half dressed, the door bell went so he pulled on his trousers and opened the door to two young ladies extremely keen to talk to him.

As an ardent atheist you might think he wasn't keen to talk to them, but surprisingly he did invite them in. Made his whole week.

 

[Supersuperleeds]

You could invite them in to play naked twister.

That wouldn't work, I'm yet to meet anyone who doesn't like naked twister

 

[User33236]

I got rid of them using my German Shepard many years ago. You could tell by her behaviour who was coming to the door before the knock. Seeing it was a stranger at the door I exited the living room and closed the door behind me to keep the dog in before answering. Seems I hadn't quite closed it fully and she got a paw round to pull it open. She approached my side in her 'I do not trust her his person' style.

I had two choices:-

1) Simply say "its ok" and she would happily go back into the living room
2) Take a light hold on her collar and let her go into psycho mode.

Number 2 sounded much more fun and they quckly departed never to be seen again.

 

[Yellow Saddle]

Fact is, whenever they knock I never have something pithy to say. I'm very clever afterwards though.

 

[raleighnut]

You've not taught the dog to go mental when you say 'God Botherers' yet, very remiss of you.

 

[Racing roadkill]

The God botherers are in our street. I reckon I've about 15 minutes before they work their way around the cul de sac to get to my gaff. They're all young men in suits, so can't chat them up to get ride of them.

You folks got 15 mins to figure out how I can avoid them, or what I can say to get shot of them.

Invite them in, and chat about Allah.