Odd Things That Have Happened To You

[Mad Doug Biker]

Can't quite put my finger on it. The milkman has taken to knocking on the door with a huge grin, then running a mile when I open the door. Our gardener seems to be coming around 2-3 times a week when I'm at work yet the garden seems no different to me.

Then there's the odd things like weird noise from the wardrobe when I came home early from work one day. My wife sent me to the shed and when I came back the noises had gone

The weirdness is not affecting my wife as she seems really happy yet worn out all of the time.

Just can't work it out....

[QUOTE 3624245, member: 45"]Think about it. They're both visiting more often, and the wife is acting suspiciously. That noise in the wardrobe may even be have been one of them hiding after almost being caught having sex with the wife.

Yeah, I think they're at it.[/QUOTE]

He may just have a very childish Milkman who likes to play tricks.
The gardner is applying weedkiller regularly but has to wait for it to work
The noises?? Why, Mice of course! His wife sent him to the shed to get something for them.

And as for his wife being happy but worn out...... Oh YEAH!!

 

[Markymark]

Much more plausible.

 

[roadrash]

He may just have a very childish Milkman who likes to play tricks.
The gardner is applying weedkiller regularly but to wait for it to work
The noises?? Why, Mice of course! His wife sent him to the shed to get something for them.

And as for his wife being happy but worn out...... Oh YEAH!!

shes taken up cycling

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

shes taken up cycling

EXACTLY!!

 

[Markymark]

Yeah, my best mate Steve is often around, usually forgetting when I'm at work though. His stories are hilarious, he told me once about getting stuck in a wardrobe...what an idiot!!

 

[Markymark]

[QUOTE 3624307, member: 45"]I think he's probably having sex with your wife as well.[/QUOTE]
Where do you get your crazy ideas from??

 

[roadrash]

theres an ideas list in your wardrobe

 

[hopless500]

As a kid I lost a coin that was in my pocket as it fell out of a hole I didn't know was there.
When I got ready for bed later that evening I found it in my sock when I took it off. And it was one of those lovely white knee-high ones too

 

[I like Skol]

I almost set fire to my own trousers whilst wearing them. Seriously.

Only almost? Amateur!

I really did set mine on fire, and this is in the last 6 months.

I was grinding at the time when my trousers suddenly felt quite warm.....

 

[Sara_H]

A very fat bloke keeled over at a concert in Salisbury Cathedral and my sister and BIL, both ICU nurses, jumped on him and tried to revive him but he died, which earned them a round of applause from the congregation. Obviously the applause was for their efforts, not for him dying.

My OH (also an ICU nurse) resuscitated a chap who c=just happened to collapse in the lift that my OH was in. The chap vomited into my OH's mouth during the resus. The chap survived and didn't so much as ask my OH out on a second date!

 

[shouldbeinbed]

I once hit Henry Cooper in the knackers.

 

[Hugh Manatee]

I almost set fire to my own trousers whilst wearing them. Seriously.

At school, I put a PP3 9V battery in my pocket which I needed for a metalwork project I had been working on. I was sitting in a classroom with the sun shining in the window on me and I could feel the heat on my leg and thought that sun is really warm. Then I could smell burning. And see smoke coming from my trouser pocket. A coin that was in my pocket had shorted across the battery terminals.

What are the odds? That happened to me when I was a kid back in Totnes. The fair was in town and I cycled off to meet some mate to play Space Invaders. I had some sort of battery in my pocket and a metal cycle clip. The inevitable happened on the Waltzer.

With the slipstream from the ride it went up a treat. I looked (and sounded) like a Red Arrows display. I still have the scar on my thigh. It looks like I've been branded.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Only almost? Amateur!

I really did set mine on fire, and this is in the last 6 months.

I was grinding at the time when my trousers suddenly felt quite warm.....

So what's your Grindr page so we can see the pictures??

 

[Profpointy]

I remember the morning after a party in our (rented) flat, and we had maybe a dozen guests staying over on the floor in their sleeping bags. Went down to get the post, and there was a letter addressed to one of the still-sleeping revellers. I duly woke him up to hand him "his" letter. "what? Who the hell knew I'd be here to send me a letter". It was a demand for rental for our clapped out television, presumably rented by a long gone former tenant; complete co-incidence, the guest's namesake. He read the letter and said "WTF is this, I've not rented a telly". I was pissing myself as he tried to fathom what must have seemed like a convoluted prank.

It might be worth mentioning that only 2 of the original 3 colours still worked on the TV, and we'd managed to get a semblance of a picture by twiddling all the inside pre-sets to make the best of it. It also had a wooden spoon jammed in at a strategic point to get a dry joint to contact properly. We weren't unduly worried if the rental company re-possessed it to be honest.

 

[Tin Pot]

I was on the phone to a friend this afternoon.

There was a sudden loud clattering and his voice went very far off.

He had just blown up his oven, blowing himself over and dropping the phone.