Ode To Serena Williams

[Bollo]

Marion Bartoli, you are a looker,
That John Inverdale is a total .... misogynist.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Billie Jean King
had a thing
for Martina Navratilova

Not to be out done
She said in The Sun
I'm going to beat the pants off her

 

[Dave 123]

The face of Virginia Wade
Looks like it's been hit with a spade

 

[Cheddar George]

I was going to make a post on this thread but it's starting to off course ..... i think i'll leave it.

 

[Fnaar]

Post removed

Get them down Drago
And squeal like a pig.

See, not that funny is it? There's a line, and you keep crossing it.

This thread, oh! this thread
I wish you were dead
You've become an arena for menace

My intention at first
Was for smut with a thirst
For attention to matters of tennis

 

[TVC]

I'd like to write one about Boris Becker...

Saw him at Heathrow a couple of years ago, stuffing his face at the oyster bar. Thought about giving him a spade so he could shovel the seafood in quicker. It wasn't pleasent to see.

 

[rich p]

We know what you intended Fnaar. We like a bit of harmless smut. What we don't like is guys who think their pudgy moobs make them look like Dolph Lundgren, who feel like thunder gods (sic), and who might just be required by their profession to investigate the rape of someone's daughter one day, god forbid, charging in and showing their ignorance, thereby spoiling it for everybody.

Is Drago a copper?

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Evonne Evonne, Oh Goolagong
You won everything but Wimbledon

Tim Henman he was just the same
Except he won nothing again and again

 

[Joshua Plumtree]

Oh.........Sabatini, Sabatini,
Though my pecker's oft quite weeny,
Your love would make it flower,
Like a phallic Eiffel Tower!

 

[rich p]

A detective, apparently.

God help us.

 

[Ganymede]

Saw him at Heathrow a couple of years ago, stuffing his face at the oyster bar. Thought about giving him a spade so he could shovel the seafood in quicker. It wasn't pleasent to see.

Ewww. Well he had nice legs as a young man. Have to say he looks like late-life Henry VIII now.

 

[vernon]

Bjorn Borg oh Bjorn Borg
He has the pull of Shrek
The only borg that appeals to me
Is Seven of Nine - Star Trek

 

[rich p]

Ewww. Well he had nice legs as a young man. Have to say he looks like late-life Henry VIII now.

Not Henry V? Tennis balls, my liege

 

[Ganymede]

A poem on how the best male tennis players' eyes are too close together

Looking forward, on they pace
A narrow look on every face
Their pinpoint vision, hard and clear
Means they will win Grand Slams this year

Borg began it - look at him
A nose was never bridged so slim;
And stare again at Sampras (Pete)
His brows (more than his nose) replete;
Andy Murray, famed as gloomy
Has a bridge which isn't roomy;
Federer and Djokovic
Have less space at top of snitch
Than that girl on Futurama -
It isn't that their nerves are calmer;
But, gifted with a narrow snoot
These chaps will always win the loot.

 

[Ganymede]

Not Henry V? Tennis balls, my liege

I always assumed Henry V was rather fit! But alas, he went bonkers and died young.