Ode To Serena Williams

[threebikesmcginty]

Fiona Barker The Tennis Girl
Walking across the grass
Everyone had that poster
Of you with your hand on your arse

 

[djb1971]

Oh my lovely Venus
When we fondled
I'm glad nobody had seen us
With your firm tennis grip
Wrapped around my............



I'd rather have the lady athletes than tennis players though, like Yelena Isinbayeva
Anybody take the challenge

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Yelana, Yelana with your pole
My heart away you did stole
With such a great height
My pants I did sh*te
I really did need console

 

[400bhp]

Pete Sampras
You boring feck

 

[Ganymede]

Pete Sampras
You boring feck

One more line and that might have been a haiku.

With Pete Sampras though, I'm not surprised you didn't bother. God he was dull.

 

[Joshua Plumtree]

Yelana, Yelana with your pole
My heart away you did stole
With such a great height
My pants I did sh*te
I really did need console

Ahh... Women pole vaulters!

Did they get to be perfect physical specimens of womanhood by constantly practising the pole vault?

Or did they have to be perfect specimens of womanhood to be any good at the pole vault in the first place?

These are the kind of questions that keep me pondering way into the small hours!

 

[Cyclopathic]

Serena, Serena
There ain't no-one meaner
At wielding a bat in the tennis.

If you'd like to get naughty
You win, straight love-forty
And rejoice that my name isn't Dennis.

Was going to write one to Venus too, but I can't think of a rhyme.

I had exactly the same problem when trying to compose a poem for Samantha Janus.

 

[Crackle]

D'ye ken Andy Murray?
Wi a feis leik a curry
Gi'en oot at a wedding in Dumfries?

Is it true he is foreign?
Wi' his racquet up his sporran?
And a future gie'ing tennis class in Leith?

I've written that into my classic poetry book, the first line has been bouncing around my head since yesterday and whenever I see him interviewed it's going to ticker tape past my eyes as I watch him.

Oh Maria Sharapova
with legs to drool over
They could be the verse to a song
but the grunt, lets be blunt,
has me fumbling.....
....for the remote

 

[brodiej]

Cilic won the US Open
1 year after his ban for doping
His opponents aren't bitter
though he seemed so much fitter
As doping is probably rife but swept under the carpet in tennis

 

[Beebo]

I had exactly the same problem when trying to compose a poem for Samantha Janus.

She changed her name to Samantha Womack, to put an end to all those problems.

 

[Cyclopathic]

She changed her name to Samantha Womack, to put an end to all those problems.

I never knew that. Did she change her name because of marriage or embarrassment?

 

[Beebo]

I never knew that. Did she change her name because of marriage or embarrassment?

Marriage. but she only chanaged her name some years after she married.

 

[Rafferty]

[QUOTE 3269544, member: 259"]Maybe it was in honour of Bobby?

Womack's not easy to rhyme though - Kojak?[/QUOTE]
And you call yourself a cyclist! John TOMAC rhymes.

 

[tyred]

Serena, Serena
There ain't no-one meaner
At wielding a bat in the tennis.

If you'd like to get naughty
You win, straight love-forty
And rejoice that my name isn't Dennis.

Was going to write one to Venus too, but I can't think of a rhyme.

/* enters boring pedantic old fart mode /*
Point of order but an ode should have the rhyming scheme ABABCDECDE
/* exits boring pedantic old fart mode /*

 

[Fab Foodie]

/* enters boring pedantic old fart mode /*
Point of order but an ode should have the rhyming scheme ABABCDECDE
/* exits boring pedantic old fart mode /*

Well I've learned something today ....