Oxymorons

[Ming the Merciless]

I literally hate it when people use literally instead of figuratively. I wish they would be more pacific.

I wish they be a bit more Atlantic, sea what happens

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Unofficial record. Nope it’s either a record as in recorded, or you are taking out of your armpit

 

[presta]

It's 'razed', which strange to relate means completely destroy a building or group of buildings.

It's come to be used like that, but it originally meant to scratch, cut, or scrape, as in razor.

 

[guitarpete247]

Towards the end if the first lockdown I was told that I needed my haircutting badly.
I corrected them.
"Yes I need my hair cutting but I don't want it done badly."

 

[presta]

A bike shop website: "We Specialise in Everything"

A bit like the politician who insists everything is a priority.

 

[winjim]

Somebody recently pointed out that 100 is both a round number and a square number.

 

[Tail End Charlie]

Casual sex.

I always try my hardest!

 

[MartinQ]

Somebody recently pointed out that 100 is both a round number and a square number.

and 2 is the oddest prime number.

 

[winjim]

and 2 is the oddest prime number.

Evens are odds.

 

[MartinQ]

Evens are odds.

Reminds me of ...
https://publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201012/cmselect/cmeduc/uc1786-i/uc178601.htm
Q98 Chair: One is: if "good" requires pupil performance to exceed the national average, and if all schools must be good, how is this mathematically possible?
Michael Gove: By getting better all the time.
Q99 Chair: So it is possible, is it?
Michael Gove: It is possible to get better all the time.
Q100 Chair: Were you better at literacy than numeracy, Secretary of State?
Michael Gove: I cannot remember.

Could have come straight from Yes Minister

 

[Randomnerd]

Humorous cyclist

 

[Arrowfoot]

He was "found missing"

It was placed in "random order"

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Arrogant humility

 

[Drago]

United Nations.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Save money in our sale.

erm , no, you’ll be spending money