Past my allotted time...

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There's a whole lot of wildlife down there too - I have a sheet of corrugated iron under which lurks a beautiful grass snake (who chomps on my finger when I pick him up), a family of field voles and an angry bee with a serious attitude problem who has a right old go every time I move the iron sheet.

I'm tired, I read that as 'wolves'.

 

[rich p]

Onions always seemed a waste of time anyway, Crock. You plant an onion, and several months later you dig up one a bit bigger!

 

[threebikesmcginty]

I planted onions once, they stayed just the same size as when they went in, spuds too. Mind you I did have some cactuseseses once, they didn't survive either. I'm like an anti-Monty Don.

 

[Pat "5mph"]

I suspect a lot of people will give up veg growing after this year. Our garlic, onions, potatoes, runner beans and peas have all been decimated by the wet soil and slugs. Tomatoes still aren't ripe and the melons were a waste of time. Strawberries, loganberries and apples have been quite successful, but that's about it.

Same here (we could not dream about growing melons, though )
Lots of crop lost to slugs and far too much water. Next year I'm planting everything in pots, raised from the ground, under cover from the rain, even potatoes!

 

[Noodley]

Allotments are now, mostly, a lot of middle class tosh, which seem like a good idea to nobbers with a vision of some tranquil idyl. When the reality hits, half an hour in the veg aisle of Waitrose becomes a far more attractive option.

 

[rich p]

Allotments are now, mostly, a lot of middle class tosh, which seem like a good idea to nobbers with a vision of some tranquil idyl. When the reality hits, half an hour in the veg aisle of Waitrose becomes a far more attractive option.

Waitrose is a shop for middle-class Scots nobbers and when reality hits, the western aisles of Sainsburys seems a far better option

 

[User482]

Allotments are now, mostly, a lot of middle class tosh, which seem like a good idea to nobbers with a vision of some tranquil idyl. When the reality hits, half an hour in the veg aisle of Waitrose becomes a far more attractive option.

As a Scotsman, I'm amazed that you know where the veg aisle is.

 

[Crackle]

As a Scotsman, I'm amazed that you know where the veg aisle is.

He buys the stuff in breadcrumbs that you just drop in the fryer. Until you've tried deep fried ratatouille, don't mock it.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

He buys the stuff in breadcrumbs that you just drop in the fryer. Until you've tried deep fried ratatouille, don't mock it.

Our chippy does a mushy pea fritter - yumtus and it's one of your five a day or as a scottish guy I know once said "one of your five a month".

 

[lukesdad]

Allotments are now, mostly, a lot of middle class tosh, which seem like a good idea to nobbers with a vision of some tranquil idyl. When the reality hits, half an hour in the veg aisle of Waitrose becomes a far more attractive option.

A few hours a day toiling the land would do you good.

 

[yello]

Allotments are now, mostly, a lot of middle class tosh, which seem like a good idea to nobbers with a vision of some tranquil idyl.

Yep, sounds like me. Much prefer my tranquil idyll to be more idle anyway. Can't be doing with weeding sodding veg patches anyway, particularly not when the weeds outnumber the veg.

 

[Archie_tect]

Our chippy does a mushy pea fritter - yumtus and it's one of your five a day or as a scottish guy I know once said "one of your five a month".

... a Scottish friend eats 5 peas- that's his.

 

[Bollo]

I've only got a veg patch in the garden and it's been a disaster this year. Unless bindweed, slugs and cat-eggs count as crops, in which case I'm Monty f******* Don!

 

[Pat "5mph"]

Here in Glasgow every self respecting Italian/Greek/Cypriot person of a certain age group plants vegetables every year.
It has to be your own garden, we do not do allotments as we need daily close contact with our seedlings.
If you do not have a garden you must use a pot, a windowsill, the spare room: this rarely happens, how else you gonna have the obligatory annual barbecue in the rain if you don't have at least a square meter of green space?
Anyway, you must grow your veg from seed, or it does not count.
Also, you must try to grow mission impossible vegetables: no potatoes or carrots, no way: it has to be tomatoes, aubergines, courgettes, peppers.
Cunning strategies are deployed to beat adversity: start seedlings in the kitchen, take them out, take them back in, see a wee bit of sun, run out with your pots! OMG, the temperature is dropping, take them all back inside! Cover them, uncover them, talk to them, touch their little leaves, noooo.... slugs ....
Of course, most years we fail miserably. Be sure, next May, the top topic amongst us will be "how's the tomato plants doing?"

 

[Aperitif]

Onions always seemed a waste of time anyway, Crock. You plant an onion, and several months later you dig up one a bit bigger!

It's no good keeping an allotment if you don't know your onions.
Rich, that shallot.