People do remember things differently

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I'm pretty sure I know what a lie is.
Believing your own lies is of course one of the more effective ways of lying, particularly if you have a dash of superficial charm and folk want to believe for their own reasons.
Some folk are transparent liars from the off.
Wouldn't believe what they said about the most apparently inconsequential thing.
May return with some examples from my past I can think of.
 
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We assume our memories to be accurate, and people understandably get very upset if you challenge their version of events, but most of us simply don't realise how wrong we can be.
Actual liars quite often get angry as well of course if you challenge them/suggest something different.
 
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Or in some cases, you will even dispute the unequivocal evidence (or at least my wife will).

She is absolutely certain she read the book "The Name of The Rose" (Umberto Eco) before we met.

We married in January 1981 - the book was first published in English in 1983, even in Italian was only published in 1980 (and she doesn't understand Italian anyhow). So I show her the copyright page, but even though it is quite clear about first English publication, she says "that must just have been that edition". She simply will not believe that her memory of that could possibly be false.

I imagine there are things I remember with absolute certainty that just didn't happen as well.
I'd be a tad worried that she is thinking of someone else.
 
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yello

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Actual liars quite often get angry as well of course if you challenge them/suggest something different.
Oh indeed.

And then of course you move closer to the dividing line. Is it a lie if you genuinely misremember?

My point (in this thread) is not so much that people remember things differently, it's that YOU/WE do too. How can you be so sure of your own memory when you know full well how fallible it is.
 
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Oh indeed.

And then of course you move closer to the dividing line. Is it a lie if you genuinely misremember?

My point (in this thread) is not so much that people remember things differently, it's that YOU/WE do too. How can you be so sure of your own memory when you know full well how fallible it is.
Many many liars are clearly clearly shameless liars and their lies will be revealed in time.
I do know someone who thinks they are god's gift to humanity and everything they say is absolutely true merely because it has passed through whichever orifice they are using on that day (they have to swap now and again through overuse of one for burning lies) .
I know them to be a serial liar.
 
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yello

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The brain also fills in gaps. As time moves on, memories get altered one's recollection of events changes.
Yes, it's a fascinating subject is memory/the workings of the brain. I've read that the very act of recalling a memory can change it, as you amend it to blend more to your current environment. And further, each subsequent recall includes an element of the last recall. We can embed memories into memories, combine and conflate them - all seamlessly and quite unintentionally.

As I said, the moment you realise you've done it, and that cherished memory becomes a factual impossibility, it kinda shakes you.
 

Seevio

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How have we got this far without anyone mentioning the Mandela effect?
 
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, it's that YOU/WE do too. How can you be so sure of your own memory when you know full well how fallible it is.
In my own case, the facts in front of me, the evidence from others, my judgement of the person's character, their past record, including instances where they have eventually had to admit things they previously denied. Sometimes they smirk, such is their self belief/regard/view of me and others as one of the little people.
Of course habitual liars do sometimes tell the truth - in the same way that a stopped clock sometimes tells the right time.
 
Flip side of this in a way, working with a fella , he got upset because he lost all his text messages, i mean really quite upset, bordering angry.
'Whats the big deal', i asked. It might be a tad inconvenient but not much more to most people i thought.
'Because the texts were evidence if people say one thing to me then deny it...now i cant prove it' :angry:

Seemed to me a bit overkill. No doubt hes had it done to him but to keep all your texts from everyone, maybe for ever seems a bit wierd if im honest.
Sounds to me like he's got issues.
 
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yello

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She simply will not believe that her memory of that could possibly be false.
That's it, in a nutshell. The whole reason I created this thread. :okay:

It is really hard to accept, I've been there. I suspect we all have. Sometimes, it's inconsequential... but sometimes it freaks you. Not necessarily the event itself but the implications for your other so-called firm memories. Memories that, in some sense, your identity is built around.
 
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My memory is a source of amusement to many that know me, but extreme frustration to me, as it simply doesn't work at all a lot of the time.

I've had a whole bundle of tests to try to diagnose the issues over the years, with no great success, but I've managed to find ways to manage what for me is quite a serious handicap, especially as I give presentations that involve people questioning me on events and issues.

Apparently, a part of the problem is that I don't 'log' the events in the first place, so they're simply not there to recall, plus I have no concept of dates, so if someone suggests we meet on a certain day, I struggle, as I don't have a 'now' date to relate it to, which also means mine timeline of past events can be jumbled.
 
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Sounds to me like he's got issues.
he may have been reffering to texts from one particular person which he had very good reason to want to keep.
Liars can find electronic communication very tricky.
far more tricky than verbal communication where they can use unrecorded tricks and evasions.
Plenty of instances of this.
evasions, straight ignoring of questions, and the old trick of answering a question of the liar's choosing rather than the question asked are all highlighted in written/text and email conversations.
You can also ask the same question repeatedly in a way which would be hard face to face.
And each asking stands as a record that it was never answered/evaded.
By chance I am involved in such an exchange at the moment.
the log is far more extensive than even I had thought.
The evidence is damning when you string it all together.
 
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