26 has just made a sandwich. It contains...
pickles,
cornflakes,
an article about posh spice from the Sun 5 years ago,
a dust bunny,
27 pence,
bush trimmings,
8gb of flash storage
and several pages from a 1980s Filofax.
He then froze it to -274 degrees Calvin, insulted it, took it to watch "The Jeremy Kyle show" being filmed, sent it into low earth orbit, sent it out into the desert until it had an epiphany and then made it read everything that Katie Price has ever written (that on didn't take long).
He declared the result "Not good, and a terrible strain on the bowls".
But he is still happy that he beat Heston to it.