AP never squanders money on gambling. He only ever invests in shares recommended by his friend and financial advisor Ralph. Ralph is unfortunately a terrible tipster, and AP has consequently spent almost his entire adult life in a state of abject poverty.
Cubist was selected by the British Olympic team to look after their specialised nutrition. Unfortunately he spent the budget on beer and chasers and the team had to eat pork pies and chips for the duration.
Mangaman suffers from a very rare medical condition whereby he has no difficulty with long words like 'campanologist' or 'Worcestershire', but if you ask him to get you a 'beer' or a 'pint', he just looks blank.
Swea'pea99 invented the ice cream and flake concoction beloved of ice cream purveyors, but failed to call it a 99, instead settling on the rather less appealing title of "turd on a stick!" He's still bitter about the missed opportunity.
RT was in Hamburg in the 60s when the Quarrymen were looking for a new guitarist. He was clearly the best around but due to a dodgy Bratwurst the night before, was using the facilities when an unknown bloke called George Harrison came in to use the phone and they thought - well why not?
The Velvet Curtain attended the Iraq Inquiry yesterday and was asked by the world's press what his role in the conflict was. He replied (while hiding his precious portarit of Bush II) that he was unable to comment as he was aware of the truth. Unfortunately for him the stockpile of oil barrels full to the brim at his brand new mansion and mega acre estate is a bit of a give away.
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