Pretentious waffle please

[Deleted member 1258]

Some years ago at a place where I was employed I was referred to as a bristled cleaning implament operative.

 

[Seevio]

Some documents I wanted from Santander turned out to have been dematerialised ie shredded.why not just say shredded?

Are you sure they were shredded and not beamed up to the mothership?

 

[Grant Fondo]

That Lorraine on telly advertising all that pretentious Wayfair interior design stuff. Posh cow needs stuffing and roasting.

 

[Gary E]

SpaceX preferred to call their early failed landing attempts as rapid unscheduled disassembly

 

[Blue Hills]

I remember buying a packet of crisps which were described as "Gloucester Cheddar and Pan Fried Shallot" flavour.
They tasted very much like cheese 'n' onion to me.

yes, lots of that - for the same reason it's very often, supposedly, sea salt and balsamic vinegar these days - that's marketing b***t though.

 

[Kempstonian]

Want some waffle? Try this site to generate your own. Example: "We need to cascade memos about our knowledge-based incremental mobility."

http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/gobbledygook-generator.html

 

[Shut Up Legs]

Anything with "artisan" in the description.

E.g. bread, beer, cheese etc

It just conjours up images of hipsters with large beards acting like utter nobbers.

... or 'bespoke', which is probably even worse.

 

[Andy in Germany]

I'm currently writing my final dissertaion for my Occupational Therapists qualification: There's 20 pages of poretentious waffle and counting...

And before you ask, it's quite possible to make pretentious waffle in German.

 

[Slioch]

I worked for the DWP until I was put on 'the descending flight path of headcount'.

I worked for one of the major banks, and they went through a spell of using the term "rightsizing" to place a positive spin on the all too frequent occasions where they went through an exercise to destroy peoples livelihoods. It was unsavoury and disrespectful.

 

[Edwardoka]

Anything with "artisan" in the description.

E.g. bread, beer, cheese etc

It just conjours up images of hipsters with large beards acting like utter nobbers.

I get incredibly angry when dealing with a certain web framework that uses words like "artisan" and "eloquent" as names for its components. Like, get the **** over yourself.

 

[Electric_Andy]

I joked to my colleagues a few years ago that I was going to open a cafe` in the busines spark. I was going to call it "Bespoke Luncheon Solutions"

 

[Globalti]

I was searching the web for the buzz-phrase generator when I came across this from the Plain English Campaign, which is much more fun:

http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/gobbledygook-generator.html

 

[Deleted member 26715]

I was searching the web for the buzz-phrase generator when I came across this from the Plain English Campaign, which is much more fun:
http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/gobbledygook-generator.html

HeHeHe only 10 hours late https://www.cyclechat.net/threads/pretentious-waffle-please.242617/post-5447536

 

[Globalti]

Oops... didn't spot that, I was too busy waffling.

 

[Dayvo]

Kevin McCloud likes to wax lyrical at every opportunity.

'Indeed, one is taken on a veritable voyage of nausea into the carcass of a much-neglected ruin laid waste by time and poverty: however splendour returns to the ancient habitat and is once again a ziggurat to behold'. (my words, not his).

Every decently-made object, from a house to a lamp post to a bridge, spoon or egg cup, is not just a piece of 'stuff' but a physical embodiment of human energy, testimony to the magical ability of our species to take raw materials and turn them into things of use, value and beauty.

I do like him, though and enjoy watching Grand Designs.