Last summer my lad asked me to ride with the scout pack on the Colne Valley Mountain Bike Challenge Route. I had my late 1980's Emmelle 300 Classic, a 21 Speed Cro-Mo behemoth of a bike, which has rigid forks and nice steel finishing kit. Apart from being so unfit at the time that I had to push the b'stard up most of the hills (and there are lots of them!) I found it was almost impossible to mantain any sort of pace downhill on the rough stuff. At one point we were hurtling down an unpaved but firm track and I discovered that I couldn't see properly because my eyeballs were jiggling so much. Retro? No thanks. My fillings cost me a fortune, and my scrotum is not made of leather.