Sex for old folk.

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Globalti

Legendary Member
In a cafe a husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the
village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love
to you.'

Yes, she says, 'I remember it well.'

OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can
do it for old time's sake?'

'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and,
having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these
two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them
so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for
support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the
tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and
the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old
man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that
the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while
both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they
both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life
and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old
couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The
policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly
amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them,' Excuse me, but that was
something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there
some sort of secret to this?'

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that
wasn't an electric fence.'
 

Keith Oates

Janner
Location
Penarth, Wales
That's a golden oldie, RR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Cubist

Still wavin'
Location
Ovver 'thill
Ethel and Ernest have been married for 50 years, and Ethel decides she needs to put some more excitement into their failing love life. She reads a couple of Cosmopolitan atricles and decides on a plan.

Ernest comes home from the bookies one day to find Ethel, clad in a basque, stockings and suspenders on the doorstep. She announces "Today Ernest, we're going to have super-sex!"

He looks at her outfit and says "What flavour soup?"
 

Cubist

Still wavin'
Location
Ovver 'thill
A few years later and they reach their Diamond anniversary. Ethel still hasn't forgotten the need for a bit of spice in their life so she decides to treat Ernest by nipping out to buy a piece of fillet steak, a bottle of Chablis, and a pair of split-crotch panties.

At tea time she says to Ernest "Do you know what day it is Ernest?
"Aye Lass, it's our anniversary."
"Well, I've bought us a nice bit o' steak, go and put your teeth in."

She serves up the steak with the bottle of wine, and as Ernest is mopping up the gravy with a piece of bread she leans back in the chair, gets one leg up onto the table and shows him the crotchless panties.

"Now then Ernest, do you fancy a bit of that?" She says

Ernest stares down, whips off his glasses, stares again, and says

"Do I 'eck, look what it's done to your drawers!"
 

Cubist

Still wavin'
Location
Ovver 'thill
My neighbours are in their 70s. Last September the husband was out mowing the lawn, and I saw he wasn't wearing any trousers. I asked him why not and he said

"Last week I mowed it without a shirt on and got a stiff neck. This is the wife's idea."
 
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