I presume you're talking about an SPD cleat of some sort? I've only ever worn one type of SPD - the SH51 - so I'm not familiar with others.
I have a similar problem and have always had to buy one size up. Buying one size up is very common amongst cyclists. I've also had the pins and needles issue. I don't think it's possible to recommend a brand as there is so much variation in style within brands.
Until this year I have always worn MTB shoes, usually Lake, to overcome the width issue. The pins and needles problem I've solved through buying shoes which lace up and have a strap fastening which goes across the top of the tongue - usually with a Velcro fastening. Laces allow me to employ a technique I use in walking boots to anchor the foot in place. A firmly fixed boot/foot is very important when walking.
Wear the laces at a comfortable tension from the toes up. Sit down, put the shoe on, bang the heel down firmly on the floor a few times to push the heel to the back of the shoe. Tighten the laces at the top eyelet firmly enough to stop the foot/shoe moving. You can lock the lace and stop it slipping by doing the "over and under" part of the tieing three times, tighten this firmly on the show and it will not come undone. Once tightened I like to add one more "over and" under before finishing with the bow - its not essential. Then pull the strap fastening over at a comfortable tension.
Your foot will remain locked in place. I can walk all day with boots laced this way and my foot does not move.
Back to shoes. This year I was determined I would have road shoes rather than MTBs. My solution was to identify all LBSs which stocked shows, plot a circular route by car and drive round and trying every shoe I could find!! It worked. I got half way round and had found a good pair of Specialized road shoes and Fizik winter boots.
Neither boot or shoe are especially wide fitting, they are simply right for me.
My other tip would be to stretch the shoe when it's not being used. Insert shoe trees which are at least one size larger than the shoe. Over a period of time the upper will stretch and remain stretched giving that little bit of extra room and comfort. The upper will also contract so I always put the shoe trees in.
I know the sounds like a lot of messing but it's only the initial purchase which takes time. I've had to use the techniques above for decades on both walking and cycling footwear. It's worth the hassle.
