Donger
Convoi Exceptionnel
- Location
- Quedgeley, Glos.
I went into it expecting to be able to cycle some of the major city centre roads that you would normally never feel safe riding – perhaps New Street, Corporation Street and round by the Cathedral etc. What we actually got was an unispiring procession up and down the Pershore Road, through Cannon Hill Park, (where, correct me if I’m wrong, you can always cycle anyway), and through the Bull Ring Indoor Market. Here we were treated to wacky Sky minions leaping out unexpectedly, trying in vain to get us to smile for the cameras and look like we were having a zany, fun-packed day. This did not work with me, as I am the sort of grumpy who is generally opposed to all forms of enforced merriment. It got worse. A surreal trek through the dingy darkness of a half deserted indoor market followed, guided only by rows of “Sky” placarded crowd barriers. We then emerged back into the light to sample the delights of (I kid you not) the Birmingham Egg Company lorry park. (See photo, and you too can experience the joy!).
The whole day was rescued for me, though, by an incident later on in Cannon Hill Park. At regular intervals throughout the day, various celebrities were to make public appearances in the park. One of those who came and went a few times was Victoria Pendleton, and I decided to queue up to get her autograph for a mate in Gloucester who is besotted with her. The queue was 3 or 4 deep and a hundred yards long, so Andy nipped to the front to check who was there in the signing tent. At the same time someone else had the same idea. As he got to the front he loudly shouted (in broad brummie) “Nah! It’s only Lorraine Kellay!”. Lorraine Kelly, OBE, promoter of cycling and good causes, and all round bubbly and likeable celebrity, looked up to see my mate Andy in front of her looking sheepish and three quarters of the queue melting away in instant disappointment. Whether she thought he was the bloke who shouted it or not, we will never know – but the look on her face …..!